9mo fell out of bed whilst co-sleeping

[MrsB902]

I’ve been co-sleeping with my 9mo since she was around 6m as she wakes so frequently when in her cot / own room. This had been working perfectly well until last night when I woke to her crying and found her on the floor - luckily I’d put cushions there so they broke her fall and she wasn’t hurt or upset.

I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions how to prevent this from happening again - my husband is in a camp bed on the floor as often goes to join our 4yo during the night, I know bed guards aren’t recommended at this age and due to the set up of our bedroom it’s not possible to move the bed so one side is against the wall. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

I started using a bed guard at 11 months after she fell out of bed one morning. I'll add, she was an absolute slug who didn't roll over until 8 months or crawl until after her first birthday, so it's not like she was super strong and mobile by then! Like a PP, I also felt that this was safe than her falling out of bed again.

My husband slept in the spare room for 6 months so I could get some sleep with the baby. You're doing what works for your family. Just because some people can't understand that doesn't make them right!

I’d really question if the cosleeping is working for your family if DH is on a camp bed, baby has fallen on the floor and you’re saying ideally they would be in the cot…

But if you’re going to persist with it then the only safe thing to do is a floor bed, in a fully baby proofed room, with a stairgate on the door. 9 months is too young for a bed guard and I wouldn’t have thought that any of the other suggestions that would be good for a toddler like a noodle or rolled up towel under the sheet are going to be safe for an infant. You’re also going to have a walker soon which increases the risk of whatever else is the room. Therefore, it might be easier to do a small double/double bed (depending on the size of the room) in baby’s room and you sleep there with them, which also gets them used to the room meaning hopefully an easier transition away from cosleeping whenever you’re both ready and it would get DH off the camp bed.

I used a bed guard that slotted under the mattress and had a double bed next to a single bed to give extra space. Slept with baby on the double. Baby never slept in the cot after a few months due to constant waking and this way everyone slept more. Baby never got squashed in the gap or had any issues.

Agreed.

I have a mattress on the floor in our spare room for co-sleeping with my baby for this reason

Trying my best not to rise to some of these responses and just answer the OPs question!

When it was just me and little one I would sleep sideways across the bed with LO between me and the headboard. Saying that our headboard was fixed and I was happy the bed frame held the matress tight enough that there was no gap presenting an entrapment risk, even when I leant on it. That and Im short enough that I could comfortably lie sideways 😅

You can put a pool noodle under the sheet as a bed guard. Although tbh at 9 months I would think one would be ok.
We played musical beds for years. Most of my friends husbands were on a sofa or put up bed at some point too

I am a long ish term cosleeper with DD2 (she's two now). We bought a chicco next2me forever - its a like a next2me for babies, but massive and goes up to 22kg / age 4. It fastens to the side of the bed so acted as an extra guard but also made it easier to help with the transition as we could move her into it when in a deep sleep etc. She now sleeps in there for the majority of most nights and I only bring her in with me for the early morning wakes now. But it was an absolute gamechanger in the 6-12m window for us.

Actually they provide safe cosleeping information to mums now

^^this. My DC are 30 and 26 and we never did a single night of co-sleeping. Into a cot in their own room and they slept through.

OP’s thread is getting derailed by the usual
pick me wife’s who prioritise babying their husbands over their actual children.

Op, get a cotbed that you can attach to the side of your bed by removing the panel of bed rail as everyone has suggested. Co sleeping is fine, it’s is natural and it js normal. She will eventually migrate to her own bed and room. It’s a very short period of their lives and yours that they need you so intimately and so close. Goes like the blink of an eye so you’re doing the right thing and ignore the rest here.

I co-slept with my youngest - she’s now 23. So it’s not a new thing and was an absolute lifesaver for us. Do what works for you.

The OP isn’t looking for criticism on co-sleeping. Just advice on safe co sleeping.

Is that you Gina Ford?

I have a mattress on a frame on the floor, which is about a foot high. I have a cot at the same level on one side and try to keep her in it while being close enough to cosleep but she does end up on the bed most nights. On the other side I have foam floor mats and cushions but if baby did roll off then she wouldn’t fall far.

This is what we did. Like a side extension. I would co sleep and feed lying down and then nudge them more into that arena if I could. But even if they were firmly in with me it meant the side wasn't open for falling out.

FWIW, we did all sorts of sleeping arrangements across our dc - floor bed, spare bed, big bed etc etc. We did what we needed to to get the most sleep for the most people for the most time.

All our dc were different - 1 always liked their own space and the others were contact sleepers. One loved swaddling, one loved being rocked, one needed white noise. Just like now one likes a night light and the others like it dark. One likes an audio story to drift off to and the others hate noise.

Mine are teens now and they love their own rooms, their own beds and their sleep. I regret nothing about loving them through their sleep needs when little - all snuggling together, or feeding them to sleep, or stroking them or singing to them. I love my dh more for being what they needed than I would if he'd been stroppy about his own bed and forced them to sleep alone.

The number of adults who co sleep with their parents their whole lives is zero.

It's like that Michael McIntyre sketch where he pretends he can't walk because his parents didn't buy him a fancy walker. Kids don't have to be made to sleep alone, they grow and develop and mature to be able to do it.

I’d just go with a cot in their own room

Stop this ridiculous co sleeping. Move her cot into your room if you think that will help.

“Ridiculous” 🙈

How to say you don’t have a clue about social construction without telling me you don’t have a clue about social construction!

In other words, bed-sharing is in fact the opposite of ridiculous. It is normal, natural, and practiced by the majority rest of the world. Typically, bed sharing until around two and then room sharing until around seven. Years, not months!

To them, putting a baby in an individual cot / in their own room from six months old, is being ‘ridiculous!’

People saying put up with ‘a couple of months’ of sleep disruption to get her to sleep in her room, simply did not have children with the same sleep patterns as some. My oldest woke up every 45 minutes for 18 months if he was in his own cot. I would put him in his cot at 8pm and keep him there until his first wake after I was in bed about midnight. And he’d be up and need resettling every 45 minutes. Cosleeping once I went to bed worked brilliantly and we all got a full nights sleep - saved all our sanity. We did a floor mattress.

This makes me so angry. I had a baby who didn’t sleep and was at rock bottom, hallucinating and suffering with major post natal depression. Do you really think people don’t want to go to bed to rest? Most have no choice to be able to get some sleep. My baby being up every half an hour for the first 18 months of her life is bonkers but co sleeping was the only thing that got me a bit of rest. Sleep training didn’t work for us, what do you suggest people do?

Did you ever consider not every child is the same?

Some vile responses on here. Co-sleeping is a natural, lovely thing. It doesn’t cause sleep issues later on but rather well attached and emotionally well regulated children. Ignore those folk - they probably used cry it out and put their babies in a separate room at 3 months which is heartbreaking.

No need to replicate the great advice you’ve had but just wanted to support your choice 🙂

As some others have said, we took the side off the big cot and had that as an extension of the bed.

In support, co slept for 15 months here then moved her to her own room on a floor bed so we could join her when needed, she’s now almost 3 and sleeps through in her own room but is always sleeping welcome in mine if she needs me!