9mo fell out of bed whilst co-sleeping

[MrsB902]

I’ve been co-sleeping with my 9mo since she was around 6m as she wakes so frequently when in her cot / own room. This had been working perfectly well until last night when I woke to her crying and found her on the floor - luckily I’d put cushions there so they broke her fall and she wasn’t hurt or upset.

I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions how to prevent this from happening again - my husband is in a camp bed on the floor as often goes to join our 4yo during the night, I know bed guards aren’t recommended at this age and due to the set up of our bedroom it’s not possible to move the bed so one side is against the wall. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

I would put your bed away for now and have the mattress on the floor.

Cosleeping is incredibly common in some cultures. We have family in Japan and Hong Kong who think its weird to force children to sleep alone. I've added a map to show cosleeping rates.

And yet SIDs rates are lower in Asian countries than western ones where cosleeping is more common. Its fine that you didn't want to cosleep and separate beds worked for you. But people who do cosleep aren't silly.

The OP said it would be ideal if the baby would sleep in her own cot.

So clearly there’s a desire for change there

so posters suggesting using this as an opportunity to move to the cot seems not entirely out of place

Mattress on the floor, usually same height as cot

Not sure if it’s helpful at all given every baby is different but my little boy was also waking every 40 mins - 1 hour. We thought it was that his next2me was too small. Moved him into the big cot, still happened. Thought we may have been waking each other so moved him into his own room, still happened.

Then he randomly started sleeping 4/5/6 hour stretches maybe once a week/once a fortnight and I discovered that the only thing different about those days was that I’d happened to give him an extra breastfeed (in between his solids dinner at 4:30pm and his bedtime feed at 7:30pm). So I kept that up and now we get at least one long stretch of sleep at some point during the night and his other wakings are around 2 hours, not perfect but far better than 40 minutes!

He doesn’t ask for that extra feed and I wasn’t withholding feeds through the day or night, but I always make sure I offer that extra one now (and he always takes it!)

Edited to add that my little boy is 8.5 months old.

We had this and ended up dismantling the side of the cot and attaching it to our bed so it was like a big next to me! It meant that we all had room in the bed and it worked for us.

I tried a bed guard when co sleeping at that age and watched my baby slip down between it and the mattress (while playing and supervised) which could be fatal, so I agree absolutely do NOT use one.

With my elder child we took the legs off our bed at that point and had the mattress on slats on the floor, co-slept until she was 2ish. With my second (now 18 months) she's actually just got accustomed to not falling out 🤷‍♀️ I just make sure she's in the middle of the bed now and she seems to have the proprioception to keep away from the edges.

9 months is a tricky age as they're far more mobile but not very in control of it. They're gonna get into the odd spill here and there. No harm done if you learn from it and take steps to make it safer.

Of course you should continue to co sleep for as long as you and baby like.

This is my next move I think!

Sounds like absolute madness to me. Babies falling out of bed and lucky not to be seriously injured. Grown men sleeping on camp beds.

You are not suited to co sleeping if you didn't even know the baby had fallen until they started crying.

You were lucky this time. Put the child in a cot where she's safe before it happens again.

I believe in cultures where co sleeping is the norm they tend to have lower floor beds? I would either do a mattress on the floor or move baby to own bed.

You can get blow up bed guards. Perfectly safe. It what we used to take away with us on holidays etc

Tuck the covers in securely on the side they sleep?

Covers aren't used when you safely cosleep. I don't know about the OPs set up but we use a thin baby sleep sack and I wrap a thin blanket around my bottom half.

There are some really helpful suggestions here, thank you to those of you who have shared some helpful tips.

I just want to point out I didn’t cosleep with my first child because he was perfectly happy to be in his cot, unfortunately we didn’t get so lucky the second time around! I might be totally off the mark but I’m guessing a lot of the negative posts are from people whose children are much older now - the guidance around co-sleeping has actually changed recently as it’s recognised that 9/10 parents will do it at some point whether intentional or not. It’s much safer to co-sleep following the recommended safety advice (no bedding, only one parent in the bed, using the cuddle curl position etc) than to fall asleep sitting in a chair with the baby because she’s just woken up for the 10th time that night!

I was simply asking for advice around how to continue to co-sleep safely as what happened last night suggests the way we are doing it is no longer safe.

Thanks again to those of you who were understanding and offered helpful advice ❤️ being a mum is hard enough without people trying to kick you when you’re down!

Are you breastfeeding? When she wakes…. What happens? Fed? Patted?

Hear hear

Exactly what we did.

This is what we did too so no danger of falling from a height from bed .

Sidecar a cot - best thing ever! Use furniture risers to ensure the cot mattress on the lowest setting is the same height as your mattress. Move the cot bed mattress across to meet your mattress and use a pool noodle / rolled up towel / cot-safe foam cut to size from eFoam, to fill the gap on the other side.

@Summerhouse21 actually, you are wrong. Safe co-sleeping is safer than a baby sleeping independently. The west is unusual in encouraging babies to sleep independently as it’s an entirely normal and natural thing to do in the majority rest of the world. The NHS does endorse safe co-sleeping, following the Lullaby Trust guidelines.

For fun, have a think about the sleep industry and which companies stand to make billions from endorsing the idea that babies need to be in their own rooms / own cots / ‘sleeping through!’

When I coslept with my DD I had the next to me crib attached to the bed with the side down on the other side so she could only ever role into that. I don't suppose you still have something like that or that you could put the cot with the side down next to the bed so they are level?

What an awful post. OP is parenting in the best possible way. No wonder the current teens have mental health issues with parents like you leaving them to cry their hearts out as babies. Cosleeping is the global and historically norm. It’s not for everyone but it certainly is not avoiding parenting

OP we switched to a floor bed in her own room at 12 months, it really helped mine sleep better and we have transitioned away from cosleeping regularly without having to change anything (she started sleeping through on her own).

This is needlessly judgemental and harsh! Co-sleeping with your baby is actually a perfectly normal thing to do, it’s the most natural thing in the world for a a baby to sleep better next to its mother. We are animals after all. Better to do it in an informed safe way than to fall asleep accidentally with the baby because you are so tired from getting up every 40 mins. The OP has come here asking for advice on safe bed sharing not for judgement on her choices about her baby and families sleeping arrangements.