I've been sitting outside in the garden for 10 minutes

[PickledElectricity]

Because I'm so fucking stressed and angry.

Yet another night where my 5 month old has been whingeing and crying since 2 am and I am fucking exhausted.

I know it's how they communicate etc etc but tonight I've just felt overwhelmed with rage and had to step outside.

I am cold, I just want some rest, but I have to be up for the day soon to do a solo day with a toddler and baby yet again.

Stay strong - it's hard.

Where's the father? Can't he do a night wake?
Whingeing isn't something i'd associate with a 5 month old either, it's a choice like my 6 year old complaining that I've asked him to pick up the train set he's built under the dining table before we have dinner. It's a choice. Crying for a 5 month old isn't a choice. Are you getting any mh/emotional support?

Exhausting isn't it. There's a good reason sleep deprivation is used as torture.

Oh god love you, it's so hard. I vividly remember my lowest point which was when my DD was about that age and DS was 3 and I'd not had a full night's sleep in years. The rage, the frustration, the feeling of being utterly trapped and so so desperate for some solid rest... Grim. It passes, though.