3 month old won’t sleep

[Narla98]

Hello,
my 3 month old won’t sleep, we’ve tried everything, including contact naps that used to work until a couple of weeks ago. I’m really worried about her, she’s very tired has purple little eye bags and is so incredibly tired but just won’t sleep. I have white noise, darkens room, a bedtime routine and we aim for max 1hr 30 wake windows (that’s when she starts yawning) this has been her naps today:

07:20 - 08:05 (45 mins)
10:20 - 11:15 (55 mins)
15:00 - 15:40 (40 mins)

it’s now 20:15 and she hasn’t been to sleep, she’s averaging 10 hour of sleep in 24 hours which just isn’t enough.
any advice for a very worried mum?

My advice (my baby is nearly 3 and I’m pregnant) is to ignore the rules and follow babies lead. At 3-5ish months I think my baby slept diabolically low hours in a 24hr period and I was worried too but it was fine, it’s fine now, it was fine then and things always change (as you know from one day to the next!). Baby will be fine, let her lead on a routine that works for her and ignore the internet noise x x

Agree with @KoalaPineapple - if you can, try and ignore what books and the internet and other people say your baby “should” be doing. They are all so different. I wasted so much of my first maternity leave stressfully trying to get my baby to comply, and I really regret it as it was no good for either of us.

I logged all of my first child’s naps and feeds on Huckleberry, like a maniac, so I can tell you very reliably that he had 2-3 naps a day at that age, and never napped for more than 1.5h in total. In contrast, my third baby is now almost 3 months and he naps for most of the day, and is only awake for about 4h in every 24. I think they are both fine! Certainly, the non-napper is now almost 4 and the greatest joy to be around and super bright, so it hasn’t held him back.

Obviously, if you feel that your daughter is tired and she’s not content with her shorter naps, try switching things up to do whatever you need to get her to sleep - sling, pram, anything that works. I’d advise against trying to force a nap-alone-in-crib-at-all-costs type thing, especially if it’s not working. You can revisit that at another point!

My 10 week old also only has four naps of 30 mins to 45 mins. I don't worry about it. He's gaining weight, meeting milestones and seems fine. Also, tracking naps likely doesn't take into account any catnaps for example in the car/pram/carrier when out and about.

There's far too much focus on tracking babies every nap/feed/bowel movement - just let it all go and let your baby do their thing. They'll be fine.