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Original poster

I fell asleep while breastfeeding!!

63 replies

AleaEim · 30/01/2025 00:30

I feel like such a failure, I fell asleep sitting up in bed with my 6 week old v close to edge of the bed. I must have been like that for nearly two hours, in a solid sleep not light sleep, I even had a dresm so I must have been really out, DD could have easily fallen out of bed or got smothered with the duvet.

I’ve been trying to avoid intentional
co sleeping as I am an extremely deep sleeper, (it hasn’t changed with baby being born like some people said), our mattress is also quite soft but don’t know how to check for sure, it just feels very soft and I could see that it would be easy for her to roll into the dent around me while feeding.

i am open to feed in a safe co sleep position to fool proof myself if this happens again but I’m in a catch 22 situation. DH is in spare room for now as he is a light sleeper and has been struggling (he drives long distances to work so needs sleep)

I am at a loss and don’t know what I can do to keep my baby safe. People keep saying you won’t roll on your baby if you do sleep but I’d worry I would as I sometimes don’t wake up fo her whimpers/ noises she makes.

Should I use formula instead ? I didn’t want to tbh but at least getting up to make formula would wake me up. Still at risk of falling back asleep though I guess.

OP posts:
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Notgivenuphope · 30/01/2025 00:36

It happens OP and you were lucky. Learn from it and don’t torture yourself. It didn’t happen. It might have done but it didn’t. See is as you have been given another chance and you can put steps in place to make sure it doesn’t.

No more feeding in bed. Put a chair in the room and sit there (preferably one that is not too comfortable). Get up and walk around before starting the feed to make yourself more alert. Splash water on your face.

And yes, you absolutely could roll on your baby. Follow your instincts on that one.

You’ve got this.

LucyRidesAgain · 30/01/2025 00:39

We all do it.
Look at the research, almost all breastfeeding mothers will Cosleep at some point. .
See the lullaby trust website for advice on safe co sleeping so next time you are super tired you can do it in the safest way possible,

LuckyBea · 30/01/2025 00:40

Safe cosleeping is the answer. I had the exact same thing happen to me when DC1 was tiny, fell asleep propped up on loads of pillows at the edge of the bed, and it was a miracle nothing bad happened. I still remember the fright it gave me, several years later.

I thought I could never cosleep as I was sleeping like a drugged horse and not aware that baby was there... but it turns out that if I'm not exhausted to begin with, I'm perfectly able to respond to my baby. And cosleeping is how I got to the non-exhausted state! Specifically side lying feeding - it is a game changer. On newborn number 2 now and I don't even feel tired.

LucyRidesAgain · 30/01/2025 00:40

Also, you are much safer if you fall asleep next to your baby with safe co sleep measures in place than falling asleep sat up in the sofa.

Beamur · 30/01/2025 00:41

It's easily done when you're so sleep deprived.
But, you are right to be concerned and it is dangerous. I'm sure someone will come along with some good practical advice.
I wonder if you need to find a better place to feed? Beds and sofas are no good if you are at risk of sleeping. Too soft and your baby is not protected.
Ask your health visitor for some advice or breast feeding peer groups?
Can your husband come and check on you while you're feeding the baby and make sure you're both ok?

LucyRidesAgain · 30/01/2025 00:41

Can you get a next to me crib, then wiggle you and your boob into the crib to feed then slide away after,

Flittingaboutagain · 30/01/2025 00:43

At this tiny age and size and with your bed I would ensure you fully wake up during night feeds (put TV in your room etc) but as baby gets bigger set yourself up for safe co-sleeping (definitely consider a new mattress or firm topper) so you can doze off in side lying position.

LuckyBea · 30/01/2025 00:44

Please DON'T take the advice to feed in a chair if you're tired. The sids risk is something like 67* times higher in a chair!
(*open to correction if I'm slightly off on the figure, but it is very near to this number)
Safe cosleeping is far far safer than a chair.

Anonemouse1 · 30/01/2025 00:46

Gosh that's scary. Especially for two hours. Speak to your midwife but I'd say don't co-sleep and I am a co-sleeper but I don't have a deep heavy sleep. I wake up to her noises, and sleep in the c shape around the baby. If you feel like formula is the safest solution, then try it. You will still need to find a way to feed at night that doesn't allow you to fall asleep. Maybe sit on the edge of the bed rather than against the headrest. You can always combi feed too. Formula at night and breast during the day. Can your husband take the baby early morning or during the day so you can have a catch up nap or solid sleep so you are less exhausted at night? My husband used to have the baby 6-9 in a sling so the baby would sleep and I could too. Or know people who take shifts so husband could look after baby 9pm to midnight so you get some sleep before doing the night shift?

PinkPandaShoes · 30/01/2025 00:47

Sorry I don’t understand why you can’t co-sleep safely? It is how humans are literally designed to sleep. Far far safer than accidentally falling asleep sitting up.

Breastfeeding is protective against SIDs. I wouldn’t stop breastfeeding because of this.

myladybelle · 30/01/2025 00:57

It has literally happened to every mum. Once your baby can lift his or her head up; just breastfeed lying down and don't fight the sleep.

OctoRay · 30/01/2025 00:58

I get up and feed my dd on the sofa. When she was really little I'd also have some chewing gum or sugar free sweets to hand. I'd put on the TV and drink a glass of water, have the gum/sweets/ok I admit it, biscuits 🙂 please don't feel bad, just make a plan.

Snapplepie · 30/01/2025 01:29

I've been there. It feels like an impossible task to breastfeed through the night and stay awake, especially while they are so little and not actively trying to stick their fingers in your mouth or up your nose while they feed! Ive also had a bottle fed baby and its no easier. For what it's worth I think PPs are right about setting yourself up for safe cosleeping, it doesn't mean you have to cosleep all night but if you do fall asleep it'll be safer. When I figured out how long my baby took to settle fully and be ready to transfer back into the crib (20 mins) I'd set an alarm when I started feeding so I would definitely wake up and transfer. If you are trying to stay awake, I did/do also find it much easier if I go to the loo and have a drink before starting to feed so I'm really awake and more likely to make it through the 20mins.

Flittingaboutagain · 30/01/2025 01:45

Oh yes to the drinks, snacks and alarms too! All the jelly babies and raisins I consumed between 12 and 4am!

Matilda761 · 30/01/2025 01:51

Could your partner do at least one feed (expressed or formula) to help you get more sleep? That should help you stop falling asleep while feeding. Make sure you’re deliberately leaving your skin exposed to the cold ai while feeding to stay awake. No nice warm duvet, or cardi or socks (sorry!)

Original poster
AleaEim · 30/01/2025 04:36

LucyRidesAgain · 30/01/2025 00:39

We all do it.
Look at the research, almost all breastfeeding mothers will Cosleep at some point. .
See the lullaby trust website for advice on safe co sleeping so next time you are super tired you can do it in the safest way possible,

The lullaby trust says no soft mattress and that’s we have.

OP posts:
Original poster
AleaEim · 30/01/2025 04:40

LucyRidesAgain · 30/01/2025 00:41

Can you get a next to me crib, then wiggle you and your boob into the crib to feed then slide away after,

I could do, we have a Gaia co sleep cot but it doesn’t level up with the bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
AleaEim · 30/01/2025 04:41

Notgivenuphope · 30/01/2025 00:36

It happens OP and you were lucky. Learn from it and don’t torture yourself. It didn’t happen. It might have done but it didn’t. See is as you have been given another chance and you can put steps in place to make sure it doesn’t.

No more feeding in bed. Put a chair in the room and sit there (preferably one that is not too comfortable). Get up and walk around before starting the feed to make yourself more alert. Splash water on your face.

And yes, you absolutely could roll on your baby. Follow your instincts on that one.

You’ve got this.

Edited

Uncomfortable chair could work, good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
AleaEim · 30/01/2025 04:58

Flittingaboutagain · 30/01/2025 00:43

At this tiny age and size and with your bed I would ensure you fully wake up during night feeds (put TV in your room etc) but as baby gets bigger set yourself up for safe co-sleeping (definitely consider a new mattress or firm topper) so you can doze off in side lying position.

I didn’t know you could get a mattres topper to add firmness. Any particular brands ?

OP posts:
Original poster
AleaEim · 30/01/2025 05:02

Matilda761 · 30/01/2025 01:51

Could your partner do at least one feed (expressed or formula) to help you get more sleep? That should help you stop falling asleep while feeding. Make sure you’re deliberately leaving your skin exposed to the cold ai while feeding to stay awake. No nice warm duvet, or cardi or socks (sorry!)

He does a feed at 9 ish and I go to bed at 8 but last night 80ml of expressed milk wasn’t enough so he has to come wake me to feed at 9, that’s when I fell asleep.

OP posts:
Jinglesomeoftheway · 30/01/2025 07:05

Co sleeping properly is a lot lot safer than sitting up in a chair to feed if you may potentially fall asleep.

Practise without the baby there. Your arm and legs are curved round in a c shape which makes it physically impossible to roll forward

Dairymilkisminging · 30/01/2025 07:16

Also make you self cold less chance of falling asleep so go to bed in hardly clothes kick of any duvets while your feeding. You'll find something that works

Bedecked · 30/01/2025 07:29

So sad to read of mothers torturing yourselves with uncomfortable chairs etc - breastfeeding releases sleep-inducing hormones, it’s natural to fall asleep feeding. Make it safe by putting your mattress on the floor, if that would make it firmer, or swap rooms/mattresses with your husband, look up the safe cosleeping techniques (I was so paranoid with 1st I slept with 1 thin pillow, a sleeping bag pulled only up to my waist and I cut most of the front off a warm jumper to wear instead of a blanket - I do understand the worry. But bf protects babies from SIDS & is good for mothers too. You’ll be more responsive with more rest.

MostHighlyFlavoredGravy · 30/01/2025 07:29

We've all been there. Find a way to stay awake whilst feeding, as PP suggested. Perusing long threads on MN whilst feeding is good for this - plenty of funny ones in Classics!

Chillilounger · 30/01/2025 07:50

Get a chair for feeding. Make yourself get out of bed. Feed, put down and then back. Be kind to yourself. These months are awful but it's not forever. If you're too tired can you express for night feeds and get DH to do it?