I fell asleep while breastfeeding!!

[AleaEim]

I feel like such a failure, I fell asleep sitting up in bed with my 6 week old v close to edge of the bed. I must have been like that for nearly two hours, in a solid sleep not light sleep, I even had a dresm so I must have been really out, DD could have easily fallen out of bed or got smothered with the duvet.

I’ve been trying to avoid intentional
co sleeping as I am an extremely deep sleeper, (it hasn’t changed with baby being born like some people said), our mattress is also quite soft but don’t know how to check for sure, it just feels very soft and I could see that it would be easy for her to roll into the dent around me while feeding.

i am open to feed in a safe co sleep position to fool proof myself if this happens again but I’m in a catch 22 situation. DH is in spare room for now as he is a light sleeper and has been struggling (he drives long distances to work so needs sleep)

I am at a loss and don’t know what I can do to keep my baby safe. People keep saying you won’t roll on your baby if you do sleep but I’d worry I would as I sometimes don’t wake up fo her whimpers/ noises she makes.

Should I use formula instead ? I didn’t want to tbh but at least getting up to make formula would wake me up. Still at risk of falling back asleep though I guess.

How do you roll your arm out ?

I've also fallen asleep breastfeeding, so have all my friends, it's very common. Breastfeeding makes you sleepy!

The only practical advice is can give is: don't dwell on "what ifs". Nothing bad happened so don't invent scenarios that didn't happen. You'll spiral.

It happens. It did to me. It scared the hell out of me (I could have written this post 8 years ago)

Learn from it. Safe co-sleep or get up and sit on a hard upright chair to bf.

Haven't RTFT but breastfeeding causes the release of chemicals in mum making her sleepy.

I almost always fall asleep when nursing my little one to sleep, and then wake up 10 mins later wondering if it's morning or night!

Newborns = Exhausted mum

Look up safe co sleeping, and enjoy your baby x

I definitely would have fallen asleep for long enough to drop the baby even in a hard kitchen chair so I wouldn’t rely on that. I won’t suggest cosleeping though, since you don’t want to. I would think that your husband might have to compromise his sleep a little more.

OP, watch this video: https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Even if you're not planning on sleeping whilst doing it, it shows you how to bf on your side with your arm out

Another one to say I did the same and fell asleep and felt sick with worry.

only thing that gave me less anxiety was safe co sleeping. You are soooo much safer in a bed (double bed alone!) with baby than on a chair or sofa. Hard chair sounds horrible

thanks, is there a way to find out how firm a matress should be? Is there a a rating?

Pp stating this has happened to all new mothers. Sorry but not all mothers have fallen asleep, I was far too scared to. Sleep deprivation is the absolute worst but I had to stay awake when feeding, I was petrified of something happening otherwise. I had the option to nap a couple of times a week in the day when others were around which got me through, it was awful though.
The only reason breastfeeding reduces SIDS risk is because baby typically feeds more often and therefore wakes more often. Not true for all babies but the majority according to research. Co sleeping is great if done properly. I was never confident enough to do it. Also partner is a smoker so couldn't.

https://www.wikihow.com/Assess-the-Safe-Firmness-of-an-Infant-Mattress-to-Prevent-Asphyxiation

I haven’t heard of a rating but there’s a few tests above.

If you get one what says it’s firm it should be fine.

Tbh though it’s about risk management, the risk from a softer mattress is over heating, like how you aren’t meant to put baby to sleep in a hat.

But it’s January. So unless you have your house heated pretty high I would count the overheating risk right now as lower than the risk to to baby of you falling asleep accidentally sitting up. Especially if you sleep so deeply that you’re unlikely to wake up if baby moves into an unsafe position.

Breastfeeding for the first 2 months halves the risks of SIDs. Statistically that’s huge!

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/safer-sleep-basics/breastfeeding/

I am also surprised by how many people say it’s normal to accidentally fall asleep breastfeeding. If I felt like there was a risk of me falling asleep I would breastfeed lying down so that we could both sleep safely if we needed to.

I don't think it's possible to control falling asleep when you're tired, especially with your body literally releasing cosy sleep hormones while to breastfeed.
If you managed to stay awake it was luck.

Personally I feel sitting up anywhere holding a baby to feed whole you're exhausted is to unsafe.
Feeding lying down in a safe bed means the baby can't get dropped or wedged anywhere and the mum can get an almost full night's sleep.

For me I had to control falling asleep, I was too scared about it all. I kept myself awake, whether that was sitting uncomfortably or having someone next to me, my partner was good at checking on me very regularly if he knew I was up feeding. The other technique was sitting eating haribo into the early hours 😂