Avoid sleep like the plague at bedtime

[LifesAContradiction]

Anyone else avoid sleep and bed like the plague at bedtime but also love sleep? Then I'm tired the entire day (I'm a SAHM). Think I've always had a case of revenge bedtime procrastination. However, I always have more energy at night. I literally remember everything at night and actually have the energy to get my jobs done like a true night owl. My natural bedtime would be 3/4am.

Am I an idiot or genuinely a night owl? I have two young kids and before the lack of sleep wasn't too bad as I'd wake up later. But I can't do that now. My sleep is ruining my life!!!

Yeah, same my work is better at night

There can be a mutation in the CLOCK genes

I know what you mean. I’m exhausted (on mat leave at the moment) and spend all day looking forward to bed. Then I put the kids to bed by 8pm…but then stay up til 11 cos it’s the only time I get to myself to do anything fun. Then I’m up all night with the baby and exhausted and the cycle begins again…

@ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName first I've heard of this! How can I check for this.l? It's been such an issue for me most of my life. Before I could sleep in, now waking up with the kids it's unbearable. Definitely taking a toll on my body

@modgepodge how are you coping? :( I'm the EXACT same except I sleep at 3/4am. To me, your routine is fantastic haha

@modgepodge sounds sarcastic but I wasn't trying to be! Needed to clarify lol

100%
I actually feel delighted anticipation every night when I open the bedroom door at getting into bed BUT I can't seem to shift to get there.

everything about my life would be improved by going to bed earlier (she says at 3am)

my idea would be bed sometime around 3/4am & sleep until 12pm

I'm the exact same but I've yet to find a solution! I read somewhere that it's because in cave times we would've been the night watchers so we're genetically inclined that way. No idea if that's true but it made me feel better about the whole thing.

I don't understand how I work because I'm genuinely not tired at night time, even when I've only had two hours of sleep. My brain comes alive in the evening and I have no idea where the tiredness goes, if it stuck around it would make it a lot easier to fix my schedule!

@LifesAContradiction I guess you would pay a geneticist. Or maybe see someone at a sleep clinic. The sleeping pills don't always work on me now, but maybe not coincidentally I've had some mental health problems and now I'm on medication that helps somewhat, although I still can't sleep to a 24 hour rythm every day

@maybelou EXACTLY IM THE SAME!! I feel like absolute crap! My eldest is 3 and now ai have a baby, I'm not able to improve it (or try to). You literally spoke my mind. It makes me feel like I'm crazy but I still do it to myself every night. It's literally 4:41am and I haven't slept. My point exactly

I read that too, about the caveman times. Don't know if it's true but I'm desperate for an explanation/reasoning, it makes some sense

@ChangedmyMindNotUsingMyRealName thanks for that. I'll try having a look for one. I hope you feel better though. Some people see sleep as this black and white thing - I feel like for people like us, it's far from that. Frustrating when others don't understand it.

@Morwenscapacioussleeves same but why is it so hard?! That shifting to get into bed. I don't get it. Like there's some anxiety I have getting to sleep. Negative sleep associations?

Really hope you do find something that works for you though, overtime you'll just feel worse (speaking from experience)

Im a night watcher too. Im same as you op. Two young children. Oks is a few months old. I'm supposed to be trying to go to sleep for hours. Yet here I am on mimsnet. I'll possibly fall asleep on the next half hour and then be up early with the kids

@appletreeorbanana what do we do?! It's ruining me honestly

Procrastinate about going to bed, scroll for ages, then hate getting up!

I'd love to be able to survive and feel well on about 4 hours sleep.

@JellyBeanFactory that's the thing though, since I've had kids the last few years I've. Just powdered through. But truly to my detriment. My body aches, I don't feel 'healthy' and mentally, there's lots of things like mood management etc. It's so awful

I’m exactly the same! I’m exhausted all day and the minute my 2 year old goes to bed I just procrastinate and doom scroll and end up not going to bed til midnight. We co sleep and she still wakes up at least twice a night - I don’t know why I do it to myself. When I try to get to sleep at a decent time I get racing thoughts about everything and anything

Sympathies, it's really rough isn't it. I was awake at 5.30 after 3hrs sleep

It's now 1.10am, I've worked all day and from 8-10pm.

Been in bed for 2 hours which is brilliant for me. - oh apart from when I went to the loo and decided to descale the entire shower cubicle

I piss myself off every night, but there is an anxiety of some sort and also the exhaustion of adhd , I'm usually so tired that it takes me an hour to get ready for bed

I'm better at night, I feel free and somehow energised by the peace

I've been chronically sleep deprived for a year now, it's horrible

So sorry not to have any advice to give but good to know I'm not alone!

@Saltysnack oh my that sounds awful. I feel for you, how do you have the energy to go on?! it's like by now our brains are wired to be in overdrive mode.
I can relate, unfortunately. I do the exact same - go to the kitchen for a 'snack' and end up emptying and cleaning out the fridge. Or cupboards. Go to the bathroom and start cleaning any grimey bits I can see. And they're jobs to do, so yeah it's a good thing it's getting done but NOT AT THAT TIME!!

Genuinely though I feel as if, if I don't do it then, it'll never get done? As though the daytime (normal time to do this) doesn't exist?!)
This kind of thinking feels like a disease.

“I piss myself off every night, but there is an anxiety of some sort” and “I'm better at night, I feel free and somehow energised by the peace”

Those two statements got to me. I’ve literally left myself reminders on my phone to pop up at bedtime, reminding myself why I shouldn’t stay up and how tired I get the day after and how it’s ruining me. Sounds insane.
There has to be something deep rooted for us to feel like this and have this sort of anxiety around it, what else could it be?

I could live a whole night at life, it's sad. Do you ever feel like on the days you get sleep, your body is so weirded out by it instead of feeling refreshed?

Ahhh the racing thoughts, tell me about it!! What fun. My brain will be dead most of the day but of course, at night the deep through provoking life changing thoughts will pop up.

Truth be told OP sounds like all of us on here are a bunch of ADHD people.

I guess we could get a referral and see if it is adhd and get on medication but probably take about two years.

In the meantime. We could put lavender in our house, take vitamins, eat healthy, use soft lighting, try white noise or rain sounds, be strict and force ourselves to bed at 10, no screens after 9pm, no caffeine after 4pm, eat our tea at 6pm and nothing any later, exercise every day, meditation, change our bedroom around, use a sleep mask, declutter our homes, solve all our life problems and this will switch our brains off to sleep. But let's face it we will all make ourselves this promise that tonight we will do the above and we all know we won't do it because we have bloody adhd 😂

@appletreeorbanana 😂😂😂🥲🥲 I'm crying at the fact that I could literally plan all that to a T and STILL, come night time I'll feel like I don't have any control over it (going to sleep) and stay awake, all over again. Same old cycle. You could say it's because of this negative mindset I can't break this cycle, but honestly I'm speaking from experience. So when my husband says that, I get really ticked off.

Also funny that you mention the ADHD point, I was looking into it just the other week because I thought it might explain some things. I was reading a book describing adult ADHD symptoms, hoping for it to be that so I have some explanation, but it really didn't seem like it.

Thanks for the sympathy OP, hope you got some sleep last night

I could change all my habits to prioritise sleep but I can't change the fact I now need to wind down in a tranquil atmosphere. Which isn't available until the rest of the house is asleep!