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20 month old suddenly will only settle when dad puts her to bed

4 replies

teaandkittehs · 08/09/2024 20:11

Hi there,
I've got a 20 month old daughter and she has always gone down equally well or badly at night for my husband and I. We recently went camping and i put her to bed every night for the 5 nights we were camping, as we sleep in the van together, while husband and stepson sleep in tentbox. I stayed with her in the van until she fell asleep, usually only about took 10 mins after lights out - we never stayed in the room with her to sleep at home, but i couldn't just dump her in a van alone. When we got home, i became ill, and husband put her to bed for 4 consecutive nights. Since then we started sharing again and doing a night each, and she will settle for him and go to sleep within 10 mins or so of him reading to her, but with me when i leave the room she rolls, climbs around, cries briefly, etc for up to 50 minutes, meaning sometimes i have to go back to resettle her. Any ideas what's going on, or advice? She also says daddy 100 times more often than mummy so may prefer him although she never does anything to reject me so I can't be sure.

OP posts:
ohhollyfred · 08/09/2024 20:13

My 19 month old is like this. If she wakes up and I go in she wants to be picked up but if dad goes in she lets him lie her back down with no fuss!! I have no idea why it's annoying but I just let him do the nights now ha ha

Bee49 · 08/09/2024 20:19

My son went through a stage like this. It ended as quickly as it started. I just let dad do bedtime for a while and tried intermittently until he just seemed to grow out of it. I’m sure the phase will pass! If dad was out I just accepted it was going to be a long evening!

teaandkittehs · 08/09/2024 20:35

I am so grateful for your responses. I'm very stubborn so although my husband offered to do bedtimes for a while i have so far refused as i didn't want to start something that we wouldn't know how to end! But I'm also the main breadwinner and after being able to work at home all summer (university lecturer) I'm about to be back on campus teaching soon and will have long days so will see her a lot less which makes it even more complicated to decide how to deal with this! But I'm so grateful to hear I am not alone.

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teaandkittehs · 08/09/2024 21:32

I should add that my husband is largely a stay at home parent, but with a small business that means he works part time, so from late September to later March/early April he spends much more time parenting than I do because that's the busy time in my job. So I'm reluctant to relinquish too much to him as I already get less time with her than he does! But she never shows active preferences, although I'm sure over time she will. He's a much more relaxed and fun parent than me, I would prefer him if I was her. . . .

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