Do i have to go to bed at 7pm??

[Blu3Bell]

Baby is turning 3 months soon, so I want to get in a good sleep routine. I know this means an earlier bedtime rather than 10/11pm which is what we do now.

My question is, if im putting baby to bed at 7pm ish and NHS guidelines state baby has to be in the same room as an adult for all day and nighttime sleep, does that mean I'm expected to be tucked up in bed at 7pm too for the foreseeable future? I can't see any wayy around it but surely not everyone is doing this?

Any advice/ideas appreciated x

@mondaytosunday As we learn more about the risk factors of SIDS, safe sleeping advice is regularly updated. For example, up until the early 1990s, parents were taught by health care professionals to place newborns on their stomachs to prevent the child from choking when they spit up. It wasn't until 1992 that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that infants sleep on their backs or sides.

As you say, advice was different when your children were younger. Thankfully it is increasingly rare these days for parents to put their children in their own room ‘from day one,’ as we have a better understanding of what’s safe.

It was about ten years ago that the advice changed, following the latest research at the time.

Thanks @everyone, good to know I don't need a set routine yet. Baby contact naps in day, pram top in the evening (soon to be travel cot) and in a full size cot next to bed at night, so I'll keep doing that for now. Leaving baby asleep alone longer than it takes me to run to the loo was never going to be an option, we have a monitor but won't be using until he's older!

I remember reaching this point and you are just desperate by then to get even an hour’s break from the repetitive feed, sleep, change cycle that your life has become! I had the snuza hero clip on breathing monitor (because I was paranoid he wasn’t breathing even when I was right next to him) but I used to have that on plus the baby monitor and go for a bath in the next room with the door open. Yes it’s a compromise on the nhs guidelines in a way but I think you do also need to factor in your own sanity at times. Either that or take it in turns to go to bed early. When ours were really little they were okay with the tv being on in our room, but I think by 3-4 months they would have woken up. We did the Moses basket in the living room thing when they were newborns but I did find you just couldn’t get any routine when they were getting lifted out and I was then carrying the Moses basket into my room and didn’t feel it was safe to sleep in when I wasn’t awake so my eyes would be closing and I’d be waiting on baby waking up for a feed so I could transfer him to the next to me 😑 Both times, as soon as we started the proper ‘bedtime’ routine at 8ish around 3 months they’d go down for the night, didnt wake again and the whole screaming match thing before dinner time seemed to stop (presumably because they weren’t so exhausted).

Do what suits your family and what you have to do to survive, while still being cautious

I was too anxious to do anything but have ours downstairs with us until we went to bed.

When that young, DD slept in her carrycot in the lounge with us until we went up to bed, then we transferred her to her crib.
Once she was in her own room, around 6-8 months we had a video monitor so could keep an eye on her once we had put her down.

Goodness! This is a revelation to me- mum of 22years.

Goodness! This is a revelation to me- mum of 22years.

See this blows my mind! You lucky thing! I have a newborn currently and one older one and neither would have a ‘bedtime’ at 7 as a small baby. They would be up cluster feeding at that time or napping/waking up and finally settle down to do a bigger sleep around 10ish. So just no point trying to settle them down properly to sleep.

This maybe started happening around 6 months or so for us when they would actually settle down for the night around 7 or 8.

I do remember doing this for a good few weeks actually

Only way to feel human

Yes that’s what I did with all 3 of mine until they were 6 months old. It’s not long in the grand scheme of things and it’s worth it to make sure baby is safe.
Mine used to feed to sleep and then I’ve transfer them to the next to me or leave them asleep on me while I watched TV in bed or sat on the tablet. I used to go to sleep at 9ish anyway as they never slept well as babies.
DP says he used to love that time as he could watch whatever rubbish he liked on the TV and didn’t have to sit though coronation street 😂

Lots of really dangerous replies on here completely against the Lullaby Trust guidance. A baby monitor does not replace being in the room with you. The point isn't to be in the same room so that you can hear baby when they wake. It's to disturb baby so they don't sleep deeply - if a baby sadly dies of SIDS it's not because the parents didn't hear them wake. It's the opposite.

Keep baby in the living room, lights low, background noise of TV is fine and baby will sleep in moses basket or bassinet of your pram until you go up to bed at 10.

Yes, horrified to see dangerous advice posts above, in the first two replies especially. It's not worth the risk!

Op glad you've done your research and I agree it's not explained properly WHY baby should stay in the room, which would probably make a big difference.

What other couples I know have done is one (usually the one doing the night shift) goes to bed early to get a chunk of sleep while the other stays downstairs with the baby in moses basket, and brings the baby up for a feed. Doesn't really work for EBF cluster feeding but OK if you're combi feeding.

Why do people always claim guidance is changing so often? My eldest is nearly 12 and Lullaby Trust SIDS guidance was exactly this - no sleeping alone under 6 months. Many parents misinterpreted it as meaning just overnight but it has always meant for all sleep.

Perspective is also important. I don't think it's fair to say an hour or so in safe, empty cot is "really dangerous". The SIDS risk is overall very low, and otherwise following safe sleep guidance reduces it even further. Scaremongering is not helpful, and leads to burnt out parents.

I went up to my bedroom and put baby to sleep in cot but i watched my tv for a few hours anyway but i don't hin we started that until 6months ish anyway

@Madameprof my eldest is 22 and it was the advice not to let them sleep on their own until they were 6 months even then!

I can't remember what the advice was with my eldest but for my 19 year old advice was not to leave a baby alone even for day time naps.

Yep mine is 15 and the safe sleep advice then was not to leave alone while sleeping when small. And that it was to do with regulating breathing /hearing you breath rather than "checking"

With my second video monitors were more common so I think people thought they could rely on these as seen in this thread 🙈.

My eldest is the same age and the advice then was definitely keeping them in the same room for sleeps and Gina Ford was very controversial!

Were you not on Mumsnet then? It was very anti-GF, anti-CIO, lots of discussions about safe sleep.

With all five of my children I had a baby monitor , one with a camera If possible , hubby and I would take it in turns to check on baby every half hour until we went to bed x

Jesus there are some dangerous responses on this thread but sounds like you've come to a sensible decision OP

The OP is concerned about SIDS though, a video monitor and half hourly checks aren't going to make any difference.