Do i have to go to bed at 7pm??

[Blu3Bell]

Baby is turning 3 months soon, so I want to get in a good sleep routine. I know this means an earlier bedtime rather than 10/11pm which is what we do now.

My question is, if im putting baby to bed at 7pm ish and NHS guidelines state baby has to be in the same room as an adult for all day and nighttime sleep, does that mean I'm expected to be tucked up in bed at 7pm too for the foreseeable future? I can't see any wayy around it but surely not everyone is doing this?

Any advice/ideas appreciated x

I’m jealous, I used to love the excuse to crawl into bed at 7pm! But, I think it’s much easier in the winter. Harder in the summer with lighter nights. I used to watch TV/ipad with subtitles on and they used to cluster feed. Then by the time they stopped it was 10pm ish and I’d go to sleep. Try to enjoy the downtime. You’ll get your nights back soon.

I kept mine downstairs and fed/dozed/watched TV in the evenings until they were 4-6 months. They tended to settle for the night at 10/11 and sleep til morning.
It wasn't til they were nearer 6 months that naps became more routine and then bedtime got earlier and they settled in their cots more like 7/8ish.

I had a travel cot in the living room - with a proper mattress. He’d outgrown the moses basket by around 3 months. He’d go to sleep around 7 then around 10/11 i’d take him to bed. Followed the same routine till around 7 months then would put him to bed in the evenings. We moved house and he was in his own room from 8 months - I had a video monitor.

I pretty much go to bed when the baby does especially nights where OH is working late. I'm generally shattered by the time he goes down anyway (we usually start bath at 7 or 7.30) and it's my best chance of a stretch of sleep.

Sometimes I'll go into the living room after baby had gone to sleep (sometimes to finish my dinner. Sometimes just to catch up with OH, maybe watch 30 mins of TV with him).

Basically we ate dinner around 6pm so that we were all done by 7 ish when he wanted to put DS to bed. Generally one of us would lie on the bed scrolling/watching tv quietly while the other tidied up & got a shower then vice versa. We then watched tv together in bed before falling asleep so technically we did still get an evening together, it depends what you want to do with it. DS went into his own room at 7 months so we had the monitor from then and had a bit more flexibility. Everything with children is a phase so whatever you do now won't last forever. I find that really helpful to remember.

Use a camera with a breathing monitor. We use nanit and it would alarm if they stop breathing.

I’m sorry I just want to add a monitor will not suffice. If people are happy to take a risk then that’s fine but the reason you need to be in the same room is they use you to regulate their breathing and this reduces the risk of Sid’s. This can’t happen with a monitor - you won’t know they’ve stopped breathing.
At this age we kept them in the corner of the lounge or on us. We did bedtime from about 5 months and did it at more like 8pm to start with. One of us did go to bed until she was over 6 months.

At first baby would sleep downstairs in the Moses basket or more likely stay up awake with us 😂 and come up to bed with us around 9/10ish.
When he got more of a consistent ‘bedtime’ ie he’d actually go to sleep and stay asleep for a bit then I would go to bed with him at 7:30/8 and either watch tv upstairs or read. I was so knackered at this point I didn’t mind an early bedtime usually!
When he got to around 5 months I felt confident enough to leave him upstairs and use a baby monitor (but realise this is a month before guidelines suggest)

We just contact napped until they were about 10 months and then settled them upstairs at that point. Still did a bit of a routine eg bath and PJ's but then they slept on me.

They don't need to go to bed at 7, nor do you. None of mine have ever slept that early. At that age they would just sleep in the living room until we went to bed. In the long run, you'll appreciate them learning to sleep through the noise and light!

Please don’t use a baby monitor instead of a human. The reason they have to be in the same room as a person is to help regulate their breathing. A camera can’t do that.

Put them in a Moses basket in the living room until you’re ready to go to bed.

Until 6 months, DS stayed downstairs with us in our arms whilst we watched tv & chill. He still sleeps with me now at nearly 3.

I also didn’t leave my to sleep alone until about 5 months, and even then only for a couple of hours in the evening until I went to bed. I kept her with me overnight till over 6 months per the recommendations as I was terrified of SIDS.

Before that I used to just let her sleep on me for the evening until I went to bed, or sometimes in her bassinet if she would tolerate it.

No ‘bad habits’ were formed - from 5 months I started putting her down for day naps in her crib, and within a week I could put her down awake and leave her to fall asleep.

Just enjoy the cuddles and don’t worry.

Honestly I wouldn't worry about routines just yet. My baby was sleeping 7-8 hours at 3/4 months, so I wanted them to be the 7 hours that worked best for me! Which meant bedtime was 11pm.

We gradually moved it earlier as she was sleeping longer. By 5 months she'd sleep 10-11 hours so bedtime became 8pm. We have a TV in the bedroom which I think we'd only ever used twice, but I started just watching a film or a show in bed once she was asleep. It was actually really relaxing.

She's 7 months now and in her own room, I was nervous about it but it's gone so well!

Do no use a baby monitor you can't see your baby pass away in their sleep. A baby will regulate their breathing to yours. Put a travel cot or a small crib in your living room. A baby doesn't needs a dark quiet room.

I had a baby monitor for my two, if I went to bed at 7pm I'd never see DH!

We lifted the top part of the snuzpod into the living room for him to sleep in, we watched TV with headphones or if he was unsettled he'd sleep on me. I don't think he was ready for sleep at 7pm at that age though, just followed his lead.

I used to put mine down at 7pm. Then DH and I would have our evening, I would then wake them for a feed around 10 to 10:30, afterwards I would go to bed.

Before the days of the video monitors, I put mine upstairs with door open and the monitor plugged in and just checked them every so often until I went to bed. They could not sleep in the room whilst tv, even low lights were on and would be quite distressed. It was fine. I followed all the other advice, re room temperature, bedding, sleeping in a cot or Moses on their back. It was a non smoking house and they were breastfed.

I have a 5 month old and I’ve not left her to sleep on her own yet. 7pm is bath time then she feeds and goes to bed.

We just watch tv in the room (moved a TV in especially), chat with etc. like we would downstairs in the lounge but in the room with baby. She sleeps through the noise so we’ve not bothered with being super silent etc.

Genuinely interested to know how long this has been the advice. My youngest is 13 and I don't remember anyone ever telling me you shouldn't leave them alone while sleeping. I used to feed mine to sleep but DS was big and grew out of the moses basket by 3 months. There's no space for a cot next to our bed and I never felt comfortable to cosleep (can't sleep with a child in the bed). So he was in his own room from then.

Loads of people I knew followed the Gina Ford, Contented little baby book routine which told parents to put baby in cot in own dark room for naps and nighttime from very young. Has this book now been completely debunked? I never followed it because mine wouldn't go longer than an hour or two between feeds when they were tiny and usually woke up if I tried to put them down asleep.

But for lots of people it was very normal to get the baby down for a nap in the cot and get on with jobs. Does nobody do this now?

I think Gina Ford is largely seen as 'old fashioned' now, baby led tends to be more encouraged these days.

I followed a mixture of Gina Ford & The Baby Whisperer with DS and do the same with DTwins who were born in April including cots in dark rooms from very young and I'm happy with my risk assessment. Especially since you can do other things to reduce the risk of SIDS by a greater amount, the big one of course is putting baby to sleep on their back.

My kids were in their own rooms from day one. I had a monitor. I also exclusively breastfed so went in a couple times a night.
The RECOMMENDATION is to have baby in with you (it actually wasn't at the time I had mine). It's not a law. My kids were in bed asleep by 7.30-8pm and I had a nice evening with my husband.
I don't know anyone who actually stayed with their kids or had their kids sleep downstairs til they went up.

My DS and DIL just went to bed with the baby for a few months. They'd just go up and sit in bed and read/scroll or watch things on their phones until they were ready to sleep.

I wouldn't worry about implementing a routine as early as 3 months old (disclaimer: I don't even have a real routine with my 3 year old and 6 month old) I'd just keep them in same room as you if that suits you better. I didn't have a moses basket so my 2nd baby as a newborn would sleep downstairs in the pram or on one of us. Although I did leave him alone in the cot upstairs if I had to do stuff, but would go in and check on him regular.
It wasn't an issue with DS1 as I was only in a flat so only had to stick my head in the next room. And also drove myself insane watching him sleep as I was terrified of SIDS.
Ds2 it was more a case of he's safe, the cot is safe, I need sleep!!!!