Do i have to go to bed at 7pm??

[Blu3Bell]

Baby is turning 3 months soon, so I want to get in a good sleep routine. I know this means an earlier bedtime rather than 10/11pm which is what we do now.

My question is, if im putting baby to bed at 7pm ish and NHS guidelines state baby has to be in the same room as an adult for all day and nighttime sleep, does that mean I'm expected to be tucked up in bed at 7pm too for the foreseeable future? I can't see any wayy around it but surely not everyone is doing this?

Any advice/ideas appreciated x

I have 2 ASD children who were incredibly stressed and unhappy if sleep deprived and could not "just learn" to sleep through noise, in much the same way I as a grown adult cannot sleep through noise.

For us, naps for the baby are in the pram while toddler balance bikes. In the evening baby has to wait until toddler is in bed (usually means they are in the carrier on my back for bathtime as they are tired and don't want to be put down) and then I settle them on me downstairs until it's my bedtime.

Neither of my elder two would sleep in a pram, or on me. Only in their cot or moses in a dark and quiet room.

That's a shame however babies do get use to their environment and noises around them... having them sleep in complete silence and dark will mean that's all their use to which could cause problems further down the line, what do you do for naps then?

Are you putting them in a dark quiet room? Have you tried baby wearing? What's happening with your other children, how old are they?

I agree.

I have 3 under 2. Twin babies would never sleep if they stayed downstairs with their noisy 18 month old brother.

For such an expert on these subjects, you clearly have no clue about ND.
If you don't get why it might be hard for some parents, consider yourself lucky and bow out.

I am ND and come from a ND family.

Boy you love to jump on my comments don't you. Triggered much?

So how do you get the twins settled and asleep without leaving your 18 months old to cause havoc?

It doesn't have to be 7pm. In a few years time you'll be one of the mums.wondering why her kid gets up at 5 in the morning

Per my previous posts, they will not sleep on me. Neither of them have ever tolerated any kind of sling.

I wasn't asking for advice, I'm an experienced parent and I know my own kids. I'm merely pointing out that this particular aspect of the safe sleep advice is impractical and frankly not possible for some families depending on their circumstances.

He goes in the playpen.

And what do you mean what did I do for naps? For naps they were, as stated, in their cots in the dark and quiet.

This absolutely this. The baby is only 3 months, needs to be with you as it's known to increase SIDS risk. Babies don't need a routine at this age, it is absolutely just for you. Wait another 3 months and then do a bedtime.

Don't be silly

Okay well if you do decide you would like to look at other ways to reduce the risks there's some great resources and support out there, some even geared towards ND families. Have a good evening.

My babies did need a routine. And it absolutely wasn't for me - truth be told it was a huge inconvenience for me!

I don't need to, they are 8 and 6 now. I was merely sharing my view that the advice is not always practical or possible.

Okay but others may think they have no options, so it's worth pointing out to those that there's support out there. Never know, it may save a life.

I wouldn't worry about a 7pm bedtime at 3 months, they will likely need feeding before morning, if your thinking 7am wake up 12 hours is too long to go without a feed.
I still had a routine starting at 7, bath and pj's, nap in moses basket then up to bed after last feed. It was after 6 months I started the going to bed alone at 7pm once they had started having meals and less milk.

We have carseats to make the car safer.
Just like we have things to help reduce the risk of SIDS.
it's called risk elimination... making things as safe as possible.

Yes, and there are are plenty of things that reduce SIDS risk, like sleeping on the back and not having toys or cot bumpers. To eliminate risk of car accidents, you should never drive your children in the car, but most people are fine with that.

Go to bed with them! That’s what I’ve been doing and also did with my eldest. In a few weeks when she hits 6 months I’ll start leaving her for naps with a monitor and see how I go and then start having a few hours to myself in the evening! Don’t know what I’ll do with myself!

It honestly goes so quickly, just embrace the early bed time for now. I tend to have a little lamp and do some reading/embroidery.

I had twins when my eldest was 17 months.

I also had a sister who died of SIDS. The trauma of this has pervaded every aspect of my parents, my siblings and my own life.

I therefore never put any of my babies in a room on their own before 6 months. The eldest went in a Moses basket in the living room with us or in a sling. The twins we got a travel cot in the living room and a second sling. There were many difficult evenings but they’ve faded to a distant memory now they are 7 and 5.

What we did was moses basket stand by the bed. LO would breastfeed on the sofa in the front room and go into the moses basket on the living room floor. We'd then have a baby monitor in the kitchen so that we could be in there, if we needed to wash up etc, but still check on bubs frequently (mostly we'd be in the living room). At bed time we'd take bubs in moses basket and put him on the stand by the bed. Not saying this is the best way to do it, but it worked for us.

Please ignore anyone saying no. Baby must sleep in the same room as you for at least 6 months. Your breathing regulates their own breathing. A monitor does not help.

However, most babies won't go to sleep for the night anywhere close to 7pm for a long time, for months. Initially baby will be awake every 2-3 hours day and night, for feeding if not more, and they are awake for longer in the evening generally the first several months.

Follow babies lead, keep them downstairs sleeping on you/partner or moses basket until you're ready to go to bed. From 6/7 months they'll probably get until a routine of sorts, going to bed at maybe 8/9pm, getting earlier the older they get esp once they've moved to 2 or 3 naps

The point is you don't even need qualifications, all the information and research is available online to read. We are so incredibly lucky that we don't need to have access to expensive training courses, or even to have to go to a public library, to know about this stuff. There's surely nothing more important or valuable to anyone than their own child and yet people aren't apparently willing to put in the effort to take a small amount of time to find out the latest best practise in giving them the very best chances at life. There's nothing @TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon has said on this thread that anyone with a phone, laptop or tablet couldn't have found out on Google in less time than it would take to binge watch the latest season of Bridgerton.