Do i have to go to bed at 7pm??

[Blu3Bell]

Baby is turning 3 months soon, so I want to get in a good sleep routine. I know this means an earlier bedtime rather than 10/11pm which is what we do now.

My question is, if im putting baby to bed at 7pm ish and NHS guidelines state baby has to be in the same room as an adult for all day and nighttime sleep, does that mean I'm expected to be tucked up in bed at 7pm too for the foreseeable future? I can't see any wayy around it but surely not everyone is doing this?

Any advice/ideas appreciated x

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/hcp-room-sharing/

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/room-sharing/#:~:text=Having%20your%20baby%20sleep%20near,advice%20given%20to%20new%20parents.

This has great information as to why they advise room-sharing

Babies needing parents stay close to help them regulate their breathing. That was definitely not something that came up when my two were babies (15/18 years ago)! What on earth does this mean?

My eldest is a little older than your eldest and I was definitely aware of the reason why they should be in the sane room.

Agree with others though, the information is generally "to sleep in the sane room" without giving a fuller explanation.

I don't think @TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon likes being questioned, what with her understanding risk and science and that.

I actually love it darling, because I can back up what I say...

And god knows why my phone keeps changing same room to sane room. Didn't feel particularly sane at the time

@TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon Not sure if you've critically evaluated each study but these are incredibly old. Many studies since, including meta analysis that show different.

Yes in the same room but that breathing stuff is just not proven AT ALL. But by all means, please someone show me a reputable, recent study, including meta analyses (research published in peer reviewed journals)...

Do you think so?

He could be in the same room and stop - talk about missing the whole point of the thread. Babies are scientifically proven to be less likely to stop if someone is in the room with them. What is so hard about that for people to grasp? Are you naysayers so completely incapable of comprehending odds and statistical likelihoods? As for “parents tying themselves in knots trying to mitigate a risk that’s hardly worth mentioning” (paraphrasing another PP), why would NHS, WHO and multiple other orgs undertake and publish research on this if the risk is so infinitesimal? I know two people who found dead babies in their cots. That was worse for their mental health than keeping their baby beside them for 6 months.

I do worry that these type of posts are incredibly misleading and adds stress to people such as the OP. SIDS research has progressed in the last 20 years, still much is unknown.
Numerous studies have shown that it is safer not to co-sleep, risk factors that are being looked into are numerous but are correlational rather than causative.
Much of the guidelines, e.g. around b/f exclusively to 6 months have since been backtracked as they found the levels of food allergies rose due to a window being missed when the body was most receptive to being introduced to certain foods.

The studies are used for today's guidance... if you contact Helen Ball from Durham University I'm sure they can provide you with some more information.

However old the studies were, they are still valid and a basis for Lullaby Trust and their safe sleep guidance. I'm sure if there were more recent studies that contradict the information sleep guidance would have changed.

However old the study is, it doesn't change that our presence and breathing helps them regulate themselves and helps keep them alive. It's based on science, not thin air.

Please do send me these studies that apparently make all these safe sleep guidance wrong, I'm intrigued and would love to pass them along to my colleagues for discussion.

I know so.. have the day you deserve dear

Yes in the same room but that breathing stuff is just not proven AT ALL. But by all means, please someone show me a reputable, recent study, including meta analyses (research published in peer reviewed journals)...

Like I said, I had mine a while ago and at the time that was what was said. I know it wasn't conclusive but when I had my babies that seemed like the most likely conclusion.

If you have articles on more resent research, I'd love to read them.

Actually it's still an area that has been questioned for years but so far not enough evidence to change the weaning guidance. It's still advised to exclusively breastfeed until at least 6 months.

From 10 weeks we put our baby upstairs in bedside crib with a baby monitor at 7pm and I'd go to bed at 9/9.30ish ready for night feeds.

And there lies the route to madness.

get a bedtime routine in place, bath, story, bed. If a breastfeeding in there do it pre bath. Settle baby without feeding, rocking etc…it may take time. Once baby sleeps or before if baby is happy leave.

turn on baby monitor and go about your life.

sorted.

Eeek... that's just pure behaviourism training, feeding to sleep is biologically normal, plus breastmilk has sleepy hormones.

This is outdated advice.

Wonderful post! And if baby did fall very sick you are more likely to realise and be able to intervene, my son went from fine to barely breathing in under an hour, he’s currently running round the garden, if he hadn’t been in the same room I wouldn’t have realised when I did and he would be dead, it’s blunt but it’s the truth

I assumed if they were ok to be in their own all night at 6 months they could be left for an hour at 3 months to be honest. The risk must change gradually. As far as I can remember we started with moses basket in same room but I think by 3 months we were trying to put them upstairs for day naps and when they went to bed before us. I say trying because they were terrible sleepers anyway, so it was never very long! We checked on them and had an angel care monitor. I thought the 6 months rule was referring to being alone all night not needing to be in a room with someone at all times.

You need to do what works for you - manage the risks but look after your mental health too.

@CadyEastman I am definitely greatful for the research and information! Just getting the same leaflets at every appointment for 6 months seemed a bit excessive.

Everyone saying the Sid’s risk is low- it’s low BECAUSE of all the safe sleep practices, if we go back to the old eats the Sid’s rates will increase

I genuinely - genuinely - think that today's best practice will be discredited in future, as they are unsustainable for many families, especially if the baby is not the first. I cannot see how it is good for maternal mental health being frightened to leave the baby for five minutes, really I can't.
Also not so sure what's so terrible about 'behaviourism training' if it gets you where you want to be. Is that what used to be called a routine?
But as I said in my initial post, I come from the generation where is was not taboo to need a break from your baby.

I mean this is easy enough to do with your first. I'm on my third and DH works away so unless I wanted to neglect my other children I would struggle to be in the same room as the baby for ALL sleeps (baby will not sleep in a sling or on me).

We're just talking about leaving the baby to sleep alone, nothing else.

I think it can depend on when and where you give birth. I gave birth in a fairly deprived area and they had lots of basic information but nothing that really explained why doing the things they suggested woukd be of any benefit.