15 month old wakes for the day at 4am

[LoveYouHoneybear]

I've posted about her early wakes before, and I am posting again because I feel so frustrated and alone. My daughter is 15 months and routinely wakes at 4 or 4:30am for the day. Sometimes even 3:45am. There is no resettling! She just screams bloody murder until we get her up. I try changing her diaper, giving a bottle, stay and support, Ferber. Nothing works. She just screams and screams and then needs a nap around 8am because she is shattered. Bedtime is 6pm because she is so tired- usually has two 45 min naps during the day. I'm struggling so much and any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Standard I'm afraid

4am though??? 3:45??? I would kill for a 5am wake up!

DS did 4.30am - 5am for years would get the odd earlier odds slightly later.

I would really try and shift her bedtime later maybe 10minutes at a time. It will take a while to do and work but may help.

In my opinion 6pm is very early for bedtime. Have you tried to put her to bed later?

Later bed time

Yes, I have tried later and she still wakes up at 4am. The problem is she doesn't nap very well so she is so tired by 5:30pm!

Mine wasn't even home from nursery by 6 so that seems very early to me, I'd agree with later bedtime.

If you left her to nap for longer, would she stay asleep? Maybe give her an hour and a half nap from 1.30-3pm and delay bedtime until 7/8pm

Get rid of one nap and aim for longer lunchtime nap. This worked wonders for us.

Getting rid of the 8am nap will be hard but you can cut it down gradually. You'll need to wake her. Then focus on building up a lunchtime nap. That's what we did:

Is the room absolutely pitch black? We have a travel black out blind attached with velcro to the window frame plus blackout curtains.

Ok! Later bedtime seems to be the consensus, I will work towards cutting down her 8am nap so she will (hopefully) take a longer afternoon nap, allowing for a later bedtime!

Stick with the longer bedtimes, it might take a couple of weeks to take effect, so don't be disheartened and give up if it doesn't work straight away.

Later not longer

Later bedtime and as big a meal as possible in the evening. Even if it's mostly liquid (sippy cup of warm milk or breastfeeding if you still do that). Then do a dream-nappy-change sometime in the night. Then you'll have ticked off all the sleep needs: tired, not hungry, comfy nappy. Hopefully!

I'm really sorry you're in this situation and believe me I understand your struggle. My son is 5 now and he has, since started school, finally started waking at about 6-6.15. If he goes to bed late/once he's overtired he wakes up earlier. Honestly I remember once we stayed out till about 8.30 due to an event and he was up for the day at 3.30. It was horrific. Though at least he wakes up pretty happy since he was about 2, before that he used to wake up livid. I tried EVERYTHING, putting him to bed late, skipping naps, extra naps, pitch black room, cold bedroom, warm bedroom, an extremely chilled afternoon, a high energy afternoon, fresh air and daylight before bed, you name it I tried it. The best way for us is to ensure he's in bed whenever he starts showing signs of tiredness. Right now that's around 6.30-7.15pm When he was very small sometimes I'd be putting him to bed at 5.30pm. It felt crazy, but that was how to keep the morning start time to around 5am rather than any earlier.

Some people are just early risers. I remember being told when he was about 2 that it would sort itself out when he started school and I wanted to scream. But, 3 years later and they were right. Amazing that now 6am feels like a lie in to me. Incredible how perspective changes.

Reduce to 1 nap at that age IMO, nap after lunch and then bedtime 7/7.30. When it's a shit show of tiredness between 4pm and bedtime then try get out for some fresh air to distract xx

My DC1 was a bit like this, and I found it helped to move her afternoon nap earlier, which seems counterintuitive but did seem to make her wake later in the morning.

You have my sympathy. She’s doing her A levels now but I’m still a bit scarred.

@featherlampshade I would love to be on one nap by now, but I'm finding it near impossible as since she wakes at 4am, she is exhausted around 8am. She only naps for 45mins- an hour so how am I supposed to get to a later bedtime AND one nap when she is up at 9am? Not trying to be snarky at all, I'm just lost.

Hmm. My bitter experience is that it's just individual to the child and you will have to wait it out. People with good sleepers think it's due to their parenting choices but I think it's just good luck. Or bad luck. Sorry to say that.

I can't tell how much these messages are helping me. Thank you all so much for taking the time! @GivingOutYards my eldest is a star sleeper so I thought I was a professional LOL but you're right, it's just random whether or not you get a good sleeper

@Slippersandrum that makes sense! Will cap that morning nap and get outside, I think that's a great idea. Thank you so much x

My eldest did this at a similar age. It did pass though.

My only advice is to try and accept it as a phase. The days I gave up thinking of it as an annoyance / problem and trying to solve, the happier I was. Can you think of some quiet, easy activities the night before and when you get up do those. I honestly believe starting your day instead of thinking ‘grrrr, I should be in bed’ keeps you sane and makes it more bearable.

It’s hard, but it is just a season. Hang on in there.

@Slippersandrum completely agree with all of this. Its so tough but the early bed is reinforcing the early wakes. And the short naps are likely due to outgrowing the wake windows - tired enough to nap but not for more than 1 sleep cycle.