DS is 3 yrs and 10 months old. We have breastfed, contact napped and co-slept and he is a very affectionate boy who likes lots of cuddles and physical contact. He no longer BFs or naps, but still co-sleeps. He will not fall asleep alone so husband or I will lay with him until he falls asleep. For the past 2 years he has gone to bed in his own room for at least 3-4 hours before waking and getting into our bed, which we were happy with and worked fine for us. However more recently he has started waking earlier and earlier wanting to get into our bed. Currently he is spending just 1 hour in his own bed before waking and wanting to get into ours. He doesn't even try to get back to sleep (have checked the camera in his room) when previously he would have done.
We do also have a DD (8 months old) who sleeps in our room so I know this is likely a factor. We keep putting DS back to bed consistently until 12am when we will then let him co-sleep but until then he will just continue waking and coming into the lounge/bedroom. If we put him into our bed but we're not there he will still wake and come into the lounge. Its now 11pm and we have put him back to bed 4 times since 8pm 😩
I am going to buy a sleep training clock and try to encourage him to stay in bed until the clock changes colour so he knows he can then get into our bed at 12am (then maybe gradually shift the time forwards) but I think he will just continue getting out of bed and need one of us to lie with him until he falls back asleep. I know he can put himself back to sleep because he used to do it all the time!
Any suggestions? Is there any way we can get him to sleep for longer in his own bed before coming into our room or do we need to just stop allowing the co-sleeping altogether? Ideally we'd prefer not to stop co-sleeping altogether as hes always slept with us and we don't want him to feel rejected knowing DD is in with us. Also on the odd occasion that he has slept through in his own bed he has woken around 5am and will not go back to sleep, whereas in our bed he will sleep through until after 7am.