Please tell me I’m not terrible to think about controller crying.

[Flutterby10]

My daughter is 11 months. Never slept well. Wakes now on average 20-30 times a night. She is still in a cot next to or bed because of the amount of times she wakes.

Wakes about 10 times crying before I bring her in the bed about 1am. Lots of times she just tosses and turns and cries until the morning and we get zero sleep. I’m really struggling now as I’m exhausted and go back to work soon.

She does have CMPA but on Neocate. She also had reflux but since she started walking at 10 months this has pretty much disappeared. She is extremely alert and advanced I would say for an 11 month old. She can’t switch off, wakes at the smallest of noises. Screams getting dressed, in her high chair in the car seat etc. She is very high needs!

I have a week next week where my older daughter is away and was thinking of taking on the night waking. Am I terrible for thinking about controlled crying? She finds is so hard to calm down I don’t want to scare her.

Yes to pp comments too, it is quite tortuous for your baby to be so unsettled all night! You are absolutely giving her a great gift by teaching her to sleep. Wishing you so much luck with it

Getting a good night's sleep should be your top priority. Crashing your car, for example, due to tiredness could damage you and your baby far more than a bit of crying will.

We did it with DD who was a dreadful sleeper. She is now almost 30 and can't remember a thing, no issues at all.

Just hold your nerve, the first night or two might be tough but there should then be a big improvement. After 4 nights DD was sleeping for 7 to 8 hours.

What a load of codswallop.

It certainly isn't codswallop.

@TheShellBeach biased research doesn't count.

Lived expertise does, though.

I can’t figure out why she wakes so many times.

Because she has never learned to go to sleep.
Sorry, that isn't meant to be snippy!
She needs to understand that you're not going to come back every twenty minutes.
And she soon will understand, believe me. You and she will get a good sleep every night soon.

Yes, you should do some sleep training. It’s a few horrible nights for a happier family long term. Best thing we did for ours. (Ignore the scaremongering!)

Saved my sanity, took two nights, stopped me screaming at my baby, said baby slept well ever since and is a happy 18 year old currently making me a carrot cake.
He woke up every 30mins I possibly would have killed someone as I was beyond exhausted.

I'm usually very anti controlled crying, but an 11mo who is waking 30 times a night, and cosleeping doesn't work? Yeah, I think I would. She's not a newborn and you need some sleep.

She sounds uncomfortable or in pain. I couldn't do CC anyway, but it's surely even worse to do it with a child in discomfort.

@TheShellBeach probably! Her first few months of life were horrendous. Milk allergy and silent reflux which turned into vomiting 10 times between bottles. She was held an awful lot because she was in pain.

This. The person who said child psychologists are against this is wrong. Maybe their one friend, but not psychologists as a profession.

I’m not sure she is in pain. Doctors can’t see any reason why. She is absolutely fine in the day and if you pick her up but I can’t hold her all night anymore.

Exactly.
You need sleep and so does she.
You can download the Ferber book, I think.

Please give it a try. The first night will be awful, but stick to your guns. Then the second night will be much easier.
I wish you well. You'll feel so much better for getting a proper sleep.

We did it for our DD at around the same age. She was waking every hour through the night demanding BF and I was broken. It took a few stressful nights but it worked. No regrets.

If co-sleeping worked then I’d just stick to it for us all to have a good sleep. But you stuck laying in the same position as if she feels you move then wakes. The hand smacking you in the face all night and making me bite my lip is getting too much also.

Please don't feel guilty about co-sleeping not working.

I breastfed all my children for years but I never co-slept. If any of the DC were ill, of course they came in with me and DH but they had their own beds in their own rooms. It makes them sleep much better IMO.

Give the controlled crying a try.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/ferber-method

100%.

Changed my life!

Waking 20-30 times a night at 11 months is extremely unusual. I haven't RTFT so don't know if you have but if not, I'd take her to the drs first to rule out anything.

I have been to the docs. She seem doc and consultant for the reflux and allergy. I think it’s the dummy falling out that makes her cry.

We did it with our son (10 months). I was at my wits end through lack of sleep. It took two nights, after that he slept right through.

I realised afterwards how much happier he was in the day, once he was getting better sleep too. He's now 37 with two children of his own, one of which he also did sleep training with.

Controlled crying for my baby son took 2 nights..I hated doing it but my husband was great and recognised that I was going nuts with lack of sleep! My son is now a lovely 19 year old and very calm and balanced! My heart goes out to you, you will feel so much better with some decent Kip.