Those who sleep trained - did it damage your baby?

[Purple89]

My DD is 6 months and my husband and I are completely on our knees.

She wakes sometimes every 45 minutes, sometimes every hour, sometimes every 2 hours. In desperation I co sleep from 3 or 4 am but she still lies wide awake flailing her arms hitting me and pulling my face and hair. She also only does 30 min naps in the day and so I can't sleep when she does. I feel broken. I cry every day. I love her so much but this isn't sustainable and I feel like I'm not being a good mum because of it. My husband and I share the nights but he works full time so I try and take more of the share in the week.

I'm approaching a sleep consultant. Would like to do a gentle method like parent presence but we will see what they suggest.

For those who did it, do you feel it affected your baby emotionally, mentally or intellectually? I love her so much and the thought of this frightens me. Just hoping for some reassurance really.

Thank you in advance.

More agree with that, I've been on here over 22 years and was called 'abusive' for sleep training ....

No of course not. A bit of crying over one night aged 8 months, sleeps really well ever since and is a happy and healthy 5 year old.

Another no here - I actually think that good sleep is so essential for babies that not teaching them how to do it is bordering on cruel. Some babies need help to learn how to fall asleep alone (DS) or settle themselves if they wake (DD) or whatever. Do it, you'll have a difficult couple of days, but no more difficult than usual by the sounds of it, and then your lives will probably be transformed.

No, they are both grand typically annoying teens and appear to like us as they should

I think it makes everyone happier because they get sleep and so do you so you are calmer and happier with them.

No one of the best things we did.

Don't know how people survive doing multiple night wakings constantly for years on end.

Did it with my 3, all teens now & perfectly normal. Prepare for a few telling nights bit long term gain (more sleep!) is worth it

Hellish!

Nope, best thing we did too. Neither have any memories of it, go to bed and sleep like dreams, but still know to call to us if something's actually wrong.

DD9 was 14mo and I wish we'd done it sooner. DS4 was 8mo and that was about right. He actually got the hang of it much quicker. I think it was about a week for DD (from shouting to babbling herself to sleep) and maybe 4 days for DS.

Did gradual retreat method at 6 months worked amazingly well. Also went with a sleep consultant. Didn't affect my bond with my son. Continued to breast feed. Was a happier parent once I got more rest.

It’s only the person who was non-responsive sleep trained who can judge whether it damaged them, it would
be difficult for the parent to know until much later in life.

Erm no. He's 37, healthy, fit, strong, well adjusted and very successful.

They don't remember it either. 🙂

Thank you all so much for your replies, this is so reassuring! Really appreciate the support and quick replies.

Thank you for your post. She does have CMPA and reflux but this is being managed well, she is on specialist formula and omaprezole. I do think she is teething at the moment but she has always been a truly terrible sleeper. Even before the 4 month sleep regression she woke at least 3 times a night. She went through a phase of 2 or 3 waking again about 3 weeks ago but it only lasted a week and she's back to this 10 to 12 waking with false starts at the beginning of the night too. And only 2 to 2.5 hours of naps in the day.

Nope. No co sleeping, lying with them, patting or anything like that. They are both, happy, successful people.

We did it at 7 months, felt it was important to do it before baby could stand up and rattle the bars of the cot!! It took 3 days. He cried for about 10 mins first night, with us going in every minute or two to give him a pat and say "night night." Second night about 2 mins, third night he snuffled a bit and fell asleep. Never looked back. He's now a well adjusted, happy and successful 28 year old, and we have a fantastic relationship.

Nope, I anccidentally nap trained ds1 at 18 weeks when I left him to cry in his cot for 2 mins whilst I went to the loo (desperately needed a poo!) by the time I’d got back he was fast asleep, from that point he’d grizzle for 1 min before every nap then be conked out. He needed another bash at sleep training at 12 months as he regressed a bit after 9 months. My other DC was between 12-18 months it took 3 nights and he wasn’t alone to cry for more than 3 mins at a time.

I would never NOT sleep train if I have another DC.

Absolute best thing we did for every single member of the family. Took 2-4 nights each child each time. Worked like a dream and no children were hurt in the process!

They need to sleep to flourish, we didn't follow it to the letter but had a plan and perseverance worked

Both mine were Gina Ford babies...so sleep and food trained. I got so much stick for it at mum groups...I didn't really care, as I was bright eyed, bushy tailed and very well rested as I listened to these haggard sleep deprived women, who had no energy to pay with their babies, tell me I was wrong.

I now have 2 late teens. Both summer babies. Both top of their class through school. Both wonderful human beings who are in no way damaged by the fact I helped them learn how to sleep when they were little.

Of course it doesn’t damage them. They need sleep, and more importantly you need sleep.

No. Sleep trained both of mine - now 19 and 16 and both are absolutely fine and we are really close. I remember it being hard on me but was only one or two evenings. People will always have a few but for me I knew I was a much better Mum with sleep.

This.

There's no evidence that sleep training detrimentally affects babies. Poor sleep does have however have a detrimental impact on a babies' development and is associated with increased inflammation and poor health outcomes in adults.

The ONLY reason I waited until 18 months to sleep train Dd was because I was a first time mum and truly believed I’d ruin my baby’s life and she’d need endless therapy after reading threads on here 🙄🙄

Gentle sleep training helps you all out. Sleep is important and don’t feel any guilt for helping your baby.

I (gently)sleep trained my DD at 7 months as I was broken from the lack of sleep, to the extent that I hadn’t properly bonded with her. It was honestly the best thing I ever did. She’s now seven and not damaged in any way. It’s far more damaging to a baby to have a mother who is so tired she is physically and mentally unable to function than it is to be gently helped to go to sleep by themselves.

I didn’t sleep train but I did tweak the day time routine to encourage night time sleep. All my three DC slept a shortish night at 8 weeks and a 12 hour night at 12 weeks. My thoughts were if I can meet all their needs in 12 hours it’s got to better than stretching it over 24 hours.