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Original poster

2 year sleep regression?

150 replies

Anne8888 · 30/11/2022 20:56

HELP!

My toddler who is 23 months has suddenly started refusing to sleep. He’s always been an amazing sleeper and would self settle no problem until 3 days go..

Every time I put him in his cot he is screaming for mummy/daddy.. last night it took him 2 hours to go to sleep but he woke up at 02:30am this morning screaming for us and we just ended up putting him in our bed because we were so tired 😴

Tonight he was screaming again and after about 40 mins my partner rocked him to sleep because we just don’t know what to do for the best… will probably get a wake up call early hours again 😫 he is also refusing to nap.

Any advice? Is the 2 year sleep regression actually a thing? How long does it last?

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FlounderingFruitcake · 30/11/2022 21:28

Yes it’s a thing! It lasted for 6 weeks whilst we tried to be gentle about it and progressively made it worse by creating all sorts of sleep dependencies where leaving the room would result in a full on freak out. Never thought we’d be there but out of sheer desperation we ended up doing cry it out. Night one was horrific, 3 hours of screaming, but then that was it, went to sleep and has started sleeping completely independently again. Sorry probably not want you want to hear! Ours was in a bed and could get up though, I do think it would have been easier to overcome in a cot but that ship sailed some time ago due to some very enthusiastic climbing.

roarfeckingroarr · 30/11/2022 21:31

Could he be unwell or upset about something? Mine is 25 months and we had a week of this around his second birthday but I put it down to him having a cold. He's back to normal now.

Juicylychee · 30/11/2022 21:32

Never heard of it, haven’t had this with my two year old. Do they nap? Maybe time to drop it?

7Worfs · 30/11/2022 21:37

It sounds like it’s time to drop the nap.

Sleep is a bit of a rollercoaster with children though - illness, teething, nightmares, anything can disrupt a sleep routine. Provide comfort in a way that gets you most rest - either bring child to your bed or you go to his bed (or better yet, send your DH)

GolgiZombie6 · 30/11/2022 21:42

I could have written this myself!! My 23 month old is going through the same and it's hell. He's refusing naps even though he is clearly tired and will then be grumpy (because he's so tired) until bedtime.

I tried for 2 hours to get him to nap the other day. He's fine and settled, even asleep at some points and as soon as I try to leave he screams so must be in a light sleep. Same at night. it's rough (especially with a 3 month old too)

Happycroc · 30/11/2022 21:54

We’re currently living this hell! Started the day after DD turned 2. That was 6 weeks ago and we haven’t made any progress since. We’re all sleep deprived and miserable!

Original poster
Anne8888 · 30/11/2022 22:34

@GolgiZombie6 yes exactly the same, he’s refusing his nap even though he still needs one and I know he’s not ready to drop his nap because he didn’t have one yesterday and was still screaming at bed time last night - how long has it been going on for with you?

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Original poster
Anne8888 · 30/11/2022 22:36

@Happycroc 6 weeks 😫😫😫 are you holding her until she goes to sleep then putting her in bed? I just don’t know what to do for the best because I don’t want to create bad habits but the crying is so stressful

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Happycroc · 01/12/2022 07:39

Current situation is that she’s so tired (from having little to no sleep) that she will go to sleep at bedtime, in her own bed, wakes around 10pm screaming, until last night we have been giving in and putting her in bed with one of us just because we’re so damn tired, but then she usually takes about an hour to go back to sleep then wakes again at least once and takes another 1-2 hours to drop off again. During this time she’s either screaming or trying to smother me! It’s not sustainable! Last night we didn’t bring her into our bed, she had a complete meltdown at midnight and I think she finally dropped off at about 2.30. I honestly can’t remember if she woke again because I’m so bloody exhausted! She woke up again at 5.30 and was up for the day.

how was your night?

Original poster
Anne8888 · 01/12/2022 12:15

@Happycroc bet your exhausted :( last night we put him in bed about half 7 and he cried for about half an hour so my partner went in and rocked him to sleep.. he woke up at half 12 screaming so left him about 5 mins but he wasnt for stopping so we ended up with him in our bed again! hes a nightmare to sleep with, sleeps diagonal and couldnt seem to get comfy but eventually went off after about an hour.... I really hope this is just a phase!!!

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Original poster
Anne8888 · 01/12/2022 20:42

@Happycroc I did controlled crying tonight, took an hour and 25 mins but he is asleep now... I just know that I'm going to be up in the night though and I'm absolutely dreading it!! he also didn't have his nap again today.... hope your night is going okay!

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GolgiZombie6 · 01/12/2022 20:44

Anne8888 · 30/11/2022 22:34

@GolgiZombie6 yes exactly the same, he’s refusing his nap even though he still needs one and I know he’s not ready to drop his nap because he didn’t have one yesterday and was still screaming at bed time last night - how long has it been going on for with you?

Feels like it's been going on forever, but maybe 3 weeks?

Got him to nap for 20 mins today but only because we were in the car. Took 2 hours to get him to sleep this evening

Original poster
Anne8888 · 01/12/2022 20:48

@GolgiZombie6 oh no really :( was he a good sleeper before this? what do you do at bedtime? have you tried controlled crying?

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GolgiZombie6 · 01/12/2022 20:52

Anne8888 · 01/12/2022 20:48

@GolgiZombie6 oh no really :( was he a good sleeper before this? what do you do at bedtime? have you tried controlled crying?

He was great for his nap and would fall into a deep sleep quickly. Bedtime took a bit longer than nap time, but nowhere near what it's taking now!

I don't do CIO. We do his bedtime wind down (which we have tweaked slightly and he's a little better) and DH stays with him until he falls asleep

Original poster
Anne8888 · 01/12/2022 21:03

@GolgiZombie6 mine too, just no idea whats going on! does he wake in the night? i just know im going to be awake in the early hours of the morning!

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GolgiZombie6 · 01/12/2022 21:04

Anne8888 · 01/12/2022 21:03

@GolgiZombie6 mine too, just no idea whats going on! does he wake in the night? i just know im going to be awake in the early hours of the morning!

Yes he wakes in the night but he is getting better come to think of it!

I really hope you have a better night tonight. Sleep deprivation is no fun

Happycroc · 02/12/2022 06:28

@Anne8888 how did it go? DD was up (and screaming) 11.30pm for less than an hour. We went in to her a few times when she started screaming and made sure she stayed in her bed and she eventually dropped off again. And then she woke at 6pm. Doesn’t sound great but it’s a better night than the one before!

I’m also starting to worry about Xmas, we’re staying away with family for 10 days (5 days with one set and 5 days with the other) and we need to get her cracked before then but I’m also worried that the disruption might break her again if we do manage to get her fixed again!

I have an older DS who dropped his nap entirely before he was 2 @GolgiZombie6, he might be ready to drop the nap x

ItsTheSmallThings · 02/12/2022 07:16

We have recently gone through this, was really bad for around 3 weeks, just coming out of it now. Was horrendous and really wore me down.

She was so over tired from refusing nas she could not sleep at night and even when she did she would wake up screaming.

One day I took her for a really long drive and just let her sleep, the next day put her down for a nap and let her sleep for 3 hours. This seems to have helped as she will now go to bed without a tantrum. She is still waking in the night and crying out, but seems to be self settling atm 🤞. Also once she is in bed I put a chocolate on the tree. I've told her the chocolate will only be there if she stays in her bed all night. Not sure if this Is working or its just a coincidence.

Good luck OP, I feel your pain.

Original poster
Anne8888 · 02/12/2022 08:47

@Happycroc that sounds much better! Does she go to sleep straight away at bed time? Hopefully she is better before Christmas and managed to slip straight back into routine!

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Original poster
Anne8888 · 02/12/2022 08:48

@Happycroc oh and he didn’t wake up during the night, just took him an hour and 25 to get to sleep

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Original poster
Anne8888 · 05/12/2022 19:40

@GolgiZombie6 @Happycroc how is it going for you both?

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Happycroc · 05/12/2022 20:44

How are you doing @Anne8888?

Funny you should ask, last night, for the first night since 20th October she slept from 7pm til 5.30am 🙌 BUT our 6 year old was up vomiting from 11pm onwards 😩so the first night with the opportunity to sleep and we were up and down cleaning up puke! Hopefully she will do a repeat tonight and DC1 manages to get a good night’s rest! (That said I’ll probably wake up in the night and not be able to get back to sleep!)

Original poster
Anne8888 · 05/12/2022 20:58

@Happycroc hopefully you’re getting there with her! 🤞awwww sorry to hear about your other child, hope they feel better soon and hopefully you can get a full nights sleep tonight!

he still won’t nap, I didn’t even try him today and he was absolutely nakered - he definitely still needs his nap! He cried for 40 mins at bedtime (going in every 5 mins, making it longer each time) but it’s an improvement from the 2 hours last week. He also slept through last night so hoping he does tonight too… I just hope this is a phase and ends soon it’s so draining

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Happycroc · 06/12/2022 13:18

How did it go @Anne8888? DD refused to nap yesterday so she was knackered come bedtime, went straight down but was up in the night again. Unfortunately I’ve been hit with the bug and I’ve been sick since in the night so I had to get DH to take over. I’m also 5 months pregnant so I could really do without this!

Original poster
Anne8888 · 06/12/2022 13:46

@Happycroc Awwwww no 😫 really feel for you, must be exhausting! DS had us up 2-6 😩 just taken him for a drive and he’s currently napping so just having a Costa in the car lol! Is your DD getting her molars by any chance?

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