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Original poster

2 year sleep regression?

150 replies

Anne8888 · 30/11/2022 20:56

HELP!

My toddler who is 23 months has suddenly started refusing to sleep. He’s always been an amazing sleeper and would self settle no problem until 3 days go..

Every time I put him in his cot he is screaming for mummy/daddy.. last night it took him 2 hours to go to sleep but he woke up at 02:30am this morning screaming for us and we just ended up putting him in our bed because we were so tired 😴

Tonight he was screaming again and after about 40 mins my partner rocked him to sleep because we just don’t know what to do for the best… will probably get a wake up call early hours again 😫 he is also refusing to nap.

Any advice? Is the 2 year sleep regression actually a thing? How long does it last?

OP posts:
MissJade27 · 09/01/2023 12:30

Sorry to bump this thread but hoping for an update from you all as my son is almost 22 months and going through the same thing since the new year, he has always been a good sleeper and self settled to sleep, have done a bit of CIO in the past when he was younger and it has helped him to settle himself back down if he ever woke in the night, as well as his dummy and muslin. We used to sit him next to us while we gave him his bottle in his dark room and then waited a couple of minutes and placed him in his cot usually awake and he would settle off to sleep. Now he will scream and flinch the second he knows he's being put in the cot and breaks his heart if we start to leave the room, he almost bounces in anger and sadness. If he falls asleep on us and then we place him in cot it is better and he will sleep for a while, but then he wakes in the night like his fully awake and cry's mommy and daddy again. We have started to take it in turns to lie on the sofa in his room as its the only way he will stop crying, but then he proceeds to lie there saying mommy or daddy over and over like he cant get back to sleep, can go on for 2 hours, sometimes have to hold his hand through the bars until he will sleep. Then can wake again, or just wakes early and have to try and lay him in our bed with us until we get up.

I'm not sure where its come from, he has had an illness and then some unsettled nights not at home over Christmas. I'm just unsure now whether I'm making things worse and he's just expecting us to always be there in the night or if its a 2 year sleep regression and we need to ride it out? He is also so tired in the day and seems to have some separation anxiety especially with me. I try to get him to nap at 12pm but only for an hour as worried longer nap wasn't helping.

Am i doing it the right way? or should i be doing something else? CIO doesn't work as he just gets worked up for hours

sorry for the essay!

iloveyankeecandle · 09/01/2023 14:03

@MissJade27 I don't think I have any answers for you unfortunately. But things have eased for us. About one wake a night time which is manageable. But still struggling to go to sleep by themselves which is annoying. But if we wait it's still a quick go to sleep. I think ride it out and see what happens. Especially if they are suffering with separation anxiety. Good luck. It's a nightmare isn't it. Don't know if you're doing the right thing or not

LGBirmingham · 09/01/2023 20:40

@MissJade27 It was just the ear infection for us. Not anything else. He's gone back to normal now which is waking once or occasionally sleeping through. He definitely needs less nap since turning 2 though. Getting bed time battles.

We've never left DS to fall asleep on his own, never felt the need. But I would say that the way he falls asleep seems to have pretty much zero baring on how he sleeps for the rest of the night. I would personally stay untill he's asleep if he needs your reassurance right now.

As for the split night I've noticed that happens to ds when his bed time is too early. It happened a lot when he dropped to one nap as he wound up going to bed much earlier for a while. Could be time for a later bed time?

LGBirmingham · 09/01/2023 20:42

@MissJade27 It was just the ear infection for us. Not anything else. He's gone back to normal now which is waking once or occasionally sleeping through. He definitely needs less nap since turning 2 though. Getting bed time battles.

We've never left DS to fall asleep on his own, never felt the need. But I would say that the way he falls asleep seems to have pretty much zero baring on how he sleeps for the rest of the night. I would personally stay untill he's asleep if he needs your reassurance right now.

As for the split night I've noticed that happens to ds when his bed time is too early. It happened a lot when he dropped to one nap as he wound up going to bed much earlier for a while. Could be time for a later bed time?

LGBirmingham · 09/01/2023 20:44

@MissJade27 It was just the ear infection for us. Not anything else. He's gone back to normal now which is waking once or occasionally sleeping through. He definitely needs less nap since turning 2 though. Getting bed time battles.

We've never left DS to fall asleep on his own, never felt the need. But I would say that the way he falls asleep seems to have pretty much zero baring on how he sleeps for the rest of the night. I would personally stay untill he's asleep if he needs your reassurance right now.

As for the split night I've noticed that happens to ds when his bed time is too early. It happened a lot when he dropped to one nap as he wound up going to bed much earlier for a while. Could be time for a later bed time?

iloveyankeecandle · 11/01/2023 14:07

I've noticed that he sleeps better and through the night when he hasn't had a nap?!

Wfhandbored · 16/02/2023 06:56

Hi guys. We're going through this hell now! Is everyone out of the other side now after a few weeks? Seems that 22/23 months really is a major regression age!! I'm absolutely exhausted. At least when small babies have regressions they don't actually need chasing around all day 😭😭

Happycroc · 16/02/2023 10:20

@Wfhandbored do you want the honest answer?! I think it was about three months of hell. We’re back to going down easily at bedtime but DD wakes up in the morning ready and wearing to go anytime between 4.30am and 5.30am 🥱 unlike the earlier regressions, it wasn’t just an over night back to usual sleep it was very very gradual.

Wfhandbored · 16/02/2023 10:32

@Happycroc always want the honest answer even if it's hard to accept hahaha! We're on about week three at the moment and she's never been a good sleeper so I feel like I should be better at this by now! She slept through first at 18 months but always got up at 5, but that was HEAVEN!! So I've had 4ish months of sleep and got used to it and now this is so hard to get back to!

iloveyankeecandle · 16/02/2023 13:26

We're still going through it. I've just made a new thread. No idea what to do now.. it's been nearly three months!!

iloveyankeecandle · 20/02/2023 08:08

I put my toddler to bed last night and he went to sleep by himself. First time since beginning of December! Only woke once in the night too! Hopefully the start of things to come.

Wfhandbored · 20/02/2023 09:46

@iloveyankeecandle amazing news!!! We're slowly getting back now. Still waking a couple of times at 11 and 2 but only for a few mins and then goes back off to sleep without getting out of bed! 4am is still her time to try and get up so just got to push through this now...

iloveyankeecandle · 20/02/2023 09:54

@Wfhandbored so happy for you! It Makes such a difference to the whole
House when everyone gets the sleep! We did get a 530 wake up but I'll take that over multiple wake ups! I'm hoping by him getting to sleep
Himself without us there it will have an impact on night time wakings!

BabyBuddy · 21/02/2023 22:07

I’m losing the will to live. We had a week of good sleep. Just one middle of the night wake up and now past 3 days my 25 month old wakes up and stays awake 2.5-3 hours. He’s also off food and won’t eat much. I’m wondering if he’s hungry and wakes up because of that.
Usually, he used to wake up 2-3 times in the night but used to settle within 20-30 mins of cuddling or rocking. This staying awake for 2-3 hours everyday is killing me.
ANY 23 month OLDS IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS? I’m wondering if it’s he’s molars coming in that he’s off food and won’t even drink milk.

Longbin · 22/02/2023 08:30

My daughter is 23 months and going through the exact same thing. We switched her into a toddler bed and now she just won't go to bed. Has anyone tried putting them back into a cot to see if that helps? I feel like if I do it now I'll potentially just disrupt her even more

iloveyankeecandle · 22/02/2023 19:22

@Longbin I think I'd leave it now. Just keep putting her back in.

iloveyankeecandle · 22/02/2023 19:22

@BabyBuddy well mine is going to sleep by himself which is really great. Wake ups through the night are down to two and he is straight back to sleep once tucked in. Last night however he was awake for over an hour. Kept getting upset when I went to leave. It was awful.

McKenziebabies · 02/03/2023 20:30

Hi all, looking for some advice on this. We are currently 4 weeks into the 2 year sleep regression and struggling with how to help DD. She used to fall asleep on her own, a little back rub and then we’d leave the room and she’d self soothe. She never woke up throughout the night either.
Now she will not go down in the cot and we have to sit there and comfort her until she falls asleep every night, same when she wakes up multiple times at night and then is wide awake at 5am.

Do you think it is worth sleep training her or better to comfort and wait it out? Thanks

iloveyankeecandle · 02/03/2023 21:45

I think I posted on here every other night. We are finally through this (I think!) toddler is back to going to sleep by himself and we have one wake up in the night - if that. We had tears when we'd leave him and tears and frequent wake ups in the night. I'd definitely say ours was separation anxiety. I think they just need to get through it. I had him in bed with me a few times just to get through. When I used to read that people had got through it and gone back to how they were I just couldn't believe it. But we have.

Nosleepatall · 03/03/2023 07:56

Hi everyone
I came on here to start a thread about my 23mo DS sleep (or not sleeping is more accurate!) But found that OP had pretty much written out for me exactly what's happening with us at the moment.

It's hell. This thread has helped for reassurance that we're not alone. Also that even if it takes a few months it passes. Currently when he wakes screaming we just get into the bed in the spare room with him and do alternate nights. It's just the most efficient way for the family to sleep. It's not sustainable though and until about two weeks ago he slept through! We were so smug about it - it must be karma coming for us.

How is everyone getting on?

BabyBuddy · 05/03/2023 13:39

I’m done trying to sort out this sleep regression as I don’t consider it a regression anymore. I’m a ftm and my child is jan 2021 born. He’s sleep problems started in August 2022 and although he used to have middle of the night wake ups before that, they were spaced out maybe once or twice a week.
Since August 2022 he wakes up twice every night and takes 30 mins to fall asleep again and some days stays awake for 3 hours. He’s total sleep in 24 hours varies from 9-10 hours, which according to sleep experts is not ideal.
I have seen groups on fb which promote things like 9 hours of sleep per day is fine, stop/cap napsat this age if you want your child to sleep better at night, eyc

I just don’t know what to do. Shall I just let my child sleep only 9 hours a day? I feel guilty for capping he’s nap and waking him up at 8:00 in the mornings as he falls asleep at 1030-11 in the night and wakes up several times and needs to be rocked to sleep then.
If I could just allow him to nap a few minutes extra, then maybe he’s total sleep would increase to 10 hours per day. But then he won’t go to bed until 12 am.
I just don’t know what to do.

LGBirmingham · 05/03/2023 13:51

I'm no expert @BabyBuddy but it sounds like your ds is ready not to nap any more.

I've always found Lyndsey Hookway's literature very good and it's all from research studies. In her book it says 10-13hours sleep in 24hrs is the average I think for a 2-4 year old. So I guess you son mostly meets that sometimes a bit less, so perhaps has lower than average sleep needs?

You may find your ds actually gets more sleep by dropping the nap. Instigating might feel a bit brutal for a few weeks though?

Original poster
Anne8888 · 26/04/2023 22:51

How’s everyone getting on with their little ones sleep? We are having a nightmare again it’s so draining 😩

OP posts:
CupidStunt24 · 27/04/2023 06:37

Still not great here! 27months now and this has been going on since 23months. We have a 10wk old also now! So I expect that to upheave things a little more but I just don't know how to settle things. Now in a bed as climbed out of the cot. Can now put him in bed and stand outside the door and repeat that he needs to get into bed! I think our issues are being caused by naps... still needs the naps but refuses and I don't have time to stand in his room returning him to bed with a baby in tow! Had a bit of a better week last week, no naps, bed at 7pm and up between 5.30-6.30. This was with some short wakes in the night. So then managed to get some naps in the car this week, but I think this has made things worse - won't then settle to bed until late (even with a short nap) and then up even earlier (around 5am). So if anything he is losing night sleep with a nap. His 4 last teeth have actually cut through the last 10wks also so I assume this has contributed. The unpredictability is killing me, not knowing when/if/how many times he is going to wake and when we are going to be up for the day 😫

Wfhandbored · 27/04/2023 07:08

Same now 25 months and this all started at 21 I think? Still not sleeping through/shouting multiple times in the night for me or her dad or milk etc (which we try and avoid or it creates another crutch). Taking a million hours to fall asleep and then still getting up at 5:30. It's not AS BAD as it was but there's certainly no light at the end of the tunnel.