2 year sleep regression?

[Anne8888]

HELP!

My toddler who is 23 months has suddenly started refusing to sleep. He’s always been an amazing sleeper and would self settle no problem until 3 days go..

Every time I put him in his cot he is screaming for mummy/daddy.. last night it took him 2 hours to go to sleep but he woke up at 02:30am this morning screaming for us and we just ended up putting him in our bed because we were so tired 😴

Tonight he was screaming again and after about 40 mins my partner rocked him to sleep because we just don’t know what to do for the best… will probably get a wake up call early hours again 😫 he is also refusing to nap.

Any advice? Is the 2 year sleep regression actually a thing? How long does it last?

glad I'm not the only one then! so draining isn't it? I'm going to drop the nap tomorrow and an earlier bedtime, has anyone tried this?

@Anne8888 we tried to drop the nap and thought it would help but found ours just wasn't ready despite all the issues. Found her fast asleep on the living room floor after leaving the room for 20 seconds one day so let that one go haha

As in we let it go btw, not that you necessarily should! Might be time for yours!

Awww really haha! I’m going to try it tomorrow, will probably be even worse with an overtired toddler at bedtime but I’m willing to give anything a go at this point!

@Anne8888 this is what I'm trying now, did it for a week or so last week, there were a couple of days he crashed and burned and I found him asleep on the coffee table one lunchtime. But I'm trying really hard to keep him busy and out of the house. Thing is, if I put him to bed in the day, he WILL NOT lay down and go to sleep, keeps getting out of bed. One day a few wks ago I was stood in his dark room for an hour telling him to get into bed whilst he told me NO and told me to watch him jump, whilst I had a screaming newborn attached to my hip. I could feel my sanity slowly drifting away so I gave up and that's when I decided to try no naps, as bedtime was also creeping to 9.00-9.30pm. He's probably over tired, and we do still get some short wakes and early mornings but I'm trying to pick my battles - with even just a short nap (that I can only get in the car so it's not even like the nap gives me a break), he's not going to sleep until 8.00-8.30pm and then he's still been getting up at 5.30. Where as with no nap, at least he's going to bed at 7pm so I have . Then even when he is up at 5.30 at least he's had a full 10-10.5hrs sleep. Just trying to persevere!

@CupidStunt24 i guess it’s all trial and error at this age lol! Does he go to sleep on his own or do you need to wait with him? We've tried no nap today, although he was nearly falling asleep at 3pm! We have just started bedtime routine with the aim of bedtime at 7pm… wish us luck 😳

@Anne8888 we had fallen into sitting at his bedside til he fell asleep, but it became unsustainable where my partner is often late home from work, I couldn't sit there with him if the baby was crying etc so had to make some changes. I started putting him in bed and standing outside his open door, and telling him to get back into bed, there were tears the first few nights but he did start accepting it. Now I put him down and leave the room and shut the door but stand outside watching him on the monitor, and as soon as he starts trying to get out of bed I open the door and tell him to get into bed. Touch wood, this has been successful in that I only have to tell him once or twice now, shutting the door each time so I'm not actually "there" when he falls asleep and can nip down to see the baby etc. Last night he woke about 11, and stood at his gate whining, but by the time I'd gathered myself out of bed, he had shut the door and got back into bed!
You are right, this is all trial and error. He has been KNACKERED today, it's been an Olympic sport trying to keep him awake, I find and early, longggg bath helps and both kids like being in the bath so it kills time and keeps him awake! How did bedtime go?

@Anne8888 let us know how it goes!!

@CupidStunt24 we use to do that too but it got to the point where my partner would be lying with him for an hour because he doesn’t settle as well for him and I’d come in from a 12.5 shift to find my partner asleep on his bedroom floor lol! How old is your little one? @Wfhandbored Bedtime went ok.. I genuinely thought I’d cracked it! He got into bed on his own and I read some stories and I actually thought he was going to let me leave the room! But then I shut the door… it took 20 minutes of the rapid return method and then he was asleep for 19:20! So now I have a full evening to myself 🤞unless he decides to wake in the night!! I’m going to try no nap again tomorrow if tonight goes well but I will leave the door open when I leave his room and see if it makes a difference

@Anne8888 he is 27 months! How old is yours? This is such a shock to my system, I suppose we deserve this after 2yrs of really good sleep from him, it was bound to bite us on the arse eventually - why not when there's a newborn in the mix to make things extra interesting 😂 the door being open and me there was defs a good place to start, so maybe try that tomorrow. Not a bad first night for you! Now that I can stand outside his door is does make night wakes a little easier too, as I put him back in to bed and stand outside his door, that way he knows I'm there but I can also hear the baby if they wake in my room. Wakes have been shorter too, not two hour long parties in the night. Still get early wakes, assuming that's a mix of over-tiredness and an early bedtime but I'm hoping eventually it'll settle again. I just couldn't go on with the nap time battle, it was giving me anxiety! And then the late night due to the nap, losing my evening and then an early wake on top, it was all too much!

@CupidStunt24 hes nearly 28 months! We are exactly the same… he was the most amazing sleeper up until 23 months and then it all just went tits up 🙈 yes will def try the door open tomorrow.. I’ve just started uni so I really need to get him into a proper routine, it must be really stressful having a newborn too, I really do feel for you! It seems a lot of people are having issues with sleep when they hit 2

How are things @Anne8888? I feel like things are getting worse here he was awake for 3hrs in the night the other night, luckily went back to sleep 4am-8am. Last night he really kicked off at bedtime, screaming telling me "NO!" When telling him to get into bed. He woke at 5am and I was so tired I majestically squeezed into his cotbed with him, he went back off about 6ish until 7.45. I just can't see an end to this!

@CupidStunt24 its really hard isn’t it, it’s been up and down for months so I’d like to say it’s going ok atm but don’t want to jinx it! We’ve gone cold turkey on the nap, so he wakes up about 6ish and then goes to bed at 7pm, still doing the silent return but it only takes about 5 mins because he’s that tired so he just gives up.. he’s still waking once in the night but I return him to bed straight away and then he’s asleep again.. I’ve noticed his back tooth has cut the gum so I’m wondering if this is why he keeps waking up in the night? He seems to have been struggling with his teeth today so I’m going to give him some calpol tonight and see if it makes a difference

@CupidStunt24 so I gave him calpol last night and he slept through 7-05:40 and then I put him in our bed and he slept until 7 when my alarm went off. I think his teeth have been bothering him and waking him up and maybe his body clock has been use to him waking up in the night? God knows! I put him to bed at 7 and only had to return him twice so I’m hoping for another good night… don’t want to speak too soon though!

@Anne8888 it's SO up and down here, I don't know my arse from my elbow at this point. Slept 7pm-6am two nights ago, then last night went to bed at 7pm and was up 2.00am-3.30am just getting out of bed constantly, screaming at me to go down stairs and just generally being a pain. Did rapid return for an hour and a half, my back was f**ked this morning! But he did go back off 3.30am-7.15am. I just don't know how to fix this. Nap refusal is still STRONG so even if I did want to bring it back I couldn't. It sounds as though your little one might be getting the hang of it! Maybe it was those teeth, i thought it may have been in our case but his last 4 have cut now and it's still a nightmare! I wish mine would go back to sleep in my bed, he just jumps about and generally plays up.

@CupidStunt24 oh bless you, you must be exhausted! It’s so draining when they don’t sleep 😩 we had a bad night last night.. he woke up at 10:30 but went straight back to sleep after I returned him to his bed but he was tossing and turning all night then woke at 04:45, put him in our bed and he was tossing and turning again! Gave him some calpol after about 30 mins and he went straight back to sleep, the tooth is literally poking through his gum but only on one side atm so it must be really sore.. I’ve given him calpol tonight so hopefully that helps him. How long have you been doing rapid return? We was doing it for a couple of hours at first but now it only takes 2 returns at bedtime so it’s definitely working for us

@Anne8888 oh bless him! Hopefully once the tooth cuts through it will settle a little bit. I'm sure all of them are through here now, but it's just getting worse and worse. Started rapid return properly about a week ago, the first couple of nights weren't too bad, last night wasn't great and tonight has been the worst yet. I hate it so much, he's now gone to sleep upset, I'm upset, the baby has screamed himself to sleep as DP isn't home from work and I'm just sitting here feeling like the worst mum in the world. So he's not gone to sleep far too late which I'm sure means a few hours awake in the the night and a 5am wake!

@CupidStunt24 we have gone backwards now! But he’s teething and can tell hers really struggling, the tooth has actually cut through a little bit and feels sharp but only on one side of his gum so the rest of it is on route! We had the worst night ever last night, I’ve been awake since 2am! We put him in with us and he was really uncomfortable tossing and turning and kicking his legs about all night - couldn’t seem to get comfy probably because of the pain! Refusing to go to sleep on his own too so I’ve held him to sleep the last couple of nights because I’m just drained.. oh bless you! Don’t be daft, you’re certainly not the worst mum in the world at all! We all have days like that, maybe he’s just feeling a bit left out because of the baby and it’s been you and him for so long so he’s trying to get more of your attention? Things will get easier as they say! 😩 good luck for tonight, I know I’m in for another bad one!

@CupidStunt24 @Wfhandbored how are you both getting on?

@Anne8888 - I say this very gingerly and touch all the wood I can, but we had a bit of a breakthrough. Not one I'm particularly proud of, but my 3mo is has been ill again with bronchiolitis (second time since he's bee on born ). When I was putting toddler to bed on Thurs night, I heard the baby spluttering downstairs, went to check on him and he had been mucus sick all over himself and his chair and everything. I obviously had to deal with that and try and calm him, toddler was upstairs crying at his gate, but I needed to clean the baby up etc, poor little sod! It was about 45mins by the time I had got him cleaned up, changed him and cleaned his chair etc, and toddler had fallen asleep on his floor. I put him in bed but he stayed there all night. The next night I put him up and nipped to the loo, he whinged for 5mins at his door and got back into bed. Fri night he didn't even get out of his bed, and that's just happened for the 3rd night in a row. We had a busy weekend and he didn't go to sleep til 7.30ish, waking between 6.00-6.30am. It wasn't intentional that he was left, he's never been left to cry in his life. But I'm not sure if it's broken the habit as he was seeing rapid return as a game! I'm not condoning leaving them to cry (nor am I judging anyone who does, each to their own), but something seems to have switched. He still gets up and shouts me in the morning when he wants to get up, but (for now) it's settled a bit! I know I've fu**ed it now saying it out loud 😂 how are you getting on?

@CupidStunt24 oh wow! Amazing, I bet you feel like a new woman 🤣 is he not waking in the night anymore then? Still not great here! He’s okay at going down to sleep, the other night he only got up once when I left the room but it’s usually 2/3 times then he gives up. Still waking twice a night.. his bottom tooth is almost through and his top one is still coming… we’ve had about 5 nights in the past 4 weeks that he’s actually slept through but I really do think it’s his teeth waking him up because his cheeks have been red raw and I can obviously see them coming through but then I think to myself can teething really last this long??? My mum had him on Friday for us so we went out for a pub tea and then had a full nights sleep which was bliss!!!

@Anne8888 no we've had a week now of no night wakes. Bed at 7.30 and waking up between 6.30-7.30! He asked to go to bed last night. I go to bed with bated breath every night though! I have no idea what's changed, the only thing different was I had to leave him that night whilst I sorted the baby out. Still no naps but managing better now, not sure if it's all a mixture of getting used to no nap (he's not had a nap now since beginning of May) teeth (he was definitely teething for a while), and maybe the night he was left he maybe went to sleep without me there (like he always had before this all started). He does have a nightlight too but he had that for a few weeks before it settled so not sure it's that. How's LO's teeth? It definitely does take ages, especially these back ones, in my experience anyway. The first 4 came without much upheaval but the last 4 took quite a long time. I have no idea if this good spell will last but I so hope it does! I hope you're getting some better nights

Anyone noticed fussy eating or not eating anything much theses days?

@BabyBuddy my two year old hardly eats dinner. Picks throughout the day.

Oh god things have got even worse... I'm absolutely dreading tonight after little to no sleep the last two nights. I can't leave dd to cry it out, I don't have it in me (as I've done it before and it's bloody traumatising). But we need to stop getting in her bed to calm her as it's getting ridiculous now as she's at the point now where if we aren't there she is inconsolable. We are trying a new technique tonight. God knows how we'll get through this but reminding myself that everything is a phase.