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Original poster

Help. 10 year old won't sleep alone

87 replies

Weekesy123 · 05/10/2022 23:37

Hi
I have a ten year old who has not slept properly for the last 18 months. She suffers anxiety and will not be left alone to go upstairs, sit downstairs or go to sleep alone. She often wakes in the middle of the night and we are always getting broken sleep.

I wanted to know if there were some good news stories out there that could be shared.

We have tried everything from yoga to melatonin to homeopathy to reward charts etc.

From a stressed and tried mummy x

OP posts:
Ifyoudreamofsanddunes · 26/04/2023 06:47

I'm writing this with my daughter asleep next to me in my bed BUT 6 months on from my last post and a lot has changed! We now no longer have to stay outside/in her room til she falls asleep, we can even go downstairs and she doesn't get upset - which is huge! However, she does have one of our cats for comfort instead and 9/10 will wake us up in the night and my husband will go and sleep in her room on the spare bed. So it's not perfect but definitely a lot better. How about you OP?

Original poster
Weekesy123 · 30/04/2023 07:51

Ifyoudreamofsanddunes · 26/04/2023 06:47

I'm writing this with my daughter asleep next to me in my bed BUT 6 months on from my last post and a lot has changed! We now no longer have to stay outside/in her room til she falls asleep, we can even go downstairs and she doesn't get upset - which is huge! However, she does have one of our cats for comfort instead and 9/10 will wake us up in the night and my husband will go and sleep in her room on the spare bed. So it's not perfect but definitely a lot better. How about you OP?

Things are definitely better. The last two nights I have slept with her and got out when I woke in the middle of the night and left her alone. She didn't wake as far as I'm aware and if she did she didn't call so need to keep this up. She's definitely much less down and anxious in the day so I'm happy about that too.

OP posts:
Phineyj · 30/04/2023 08:04

I feel your pain.

What has worked a bit for us is to makeover her room and set a budget for her to choose stuff. It now has a theme - outer space - which conveniently includes a lot of lights. You can get glow in the dark bed sets and curtains...who knew?!

She also benefits from a weighted blanket and a hot water bottle.

I think some kids just really struggle with this but I'm not moving to co-sleeping because then I sleep badly, which is no solution. We do cave on that on holiday quite often though.

Beachhutnut · 30/04/2023 08:45

We ended up getting private counselling in the end. After 2 sessions we started to notice a difference, the anxiety around bedtime has almost completely vanished. I can't believe it.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 30/04/2023 09:06

My dd was like this. She slept in a bed in our room from about 9 until her 13th birthday. It wasn’t worth all the hassle and tiredness. Whatever we said or did made no difference to relieving her anxiety.

She was diagnosed ASD at 16

Original poster
Weekesy123 · 30/04/2023 09:19

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 30/04/2023 09:06

My dd was like this. She slept in a bed in our room from about 9 until her 13th birthday. It wasn’t worth all the hassle and tiredness. Whatever we said or did made no difference to relieving her anxiety.

She was diagnosed ASD at 16

What is ASD please?

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 30/04/2023 09:20

Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 30/04/2023 09:21

We made her room over. She chose all the colours and bedding. Still wouldn’t sleep in it until she was ready.

Oblomov23 · 30/04/2023 09:30

Why are you only addressing this now. There are so many anxiety links to work through, on many anxiety websites. Gp, counselling, talking to her straight, what does she think the core problem is herself, how could she overcome this.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/04/2023 10:10

DD came into me pretty much every night until she was about 11. I didn't mind. She needed the comfort. I often used to wake up and find her there beside me, so she got pretty good at sneaking in!

She's a teenager now and doesn't sneak in any more. Except, she was poorly a few months ago and she did... it was lovely to have her bedside me. And really nice to know that she still sees me as 'comfort'.

rebekahnorris · 02/05/2023 22:29

We have same issue here! Following

Scarftown · 02/05/2023 22:43

When I was 10 I wouldn't sleep I had huge panic attacks about being left alone and I just wanted to be with my mum. It want on for ages I'm sure my mum tried everything but what worked in the end or at least helped was my mum giving me her keys and purse to sleep with as then I knew she wouldn't be able to go anywhere. It wasn't an overnight thing but we add me locking up the house as part of my bedtime routine and then I slept with the keys and her purse under my pillow as she never left the house without them.

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