At what age are grandparent sleepovers appropriate?

[HopefulBump]

Hi, I’m currently pregnant with my first child. This will be my parents first grandchild and they’re very excited. I’ve no doubt they’ll be wonderful hands on grandparents and I’m sure DH and I will be very grateful for all the help we can get!

DM has mentioned having the baby to sleep over at their house one night a week from as early as 6 weeks. Regarding feeding I assume the plan would be for me to express and then feed the baby bottled breast milk.

My DH and I feel this sounds too early. Won’t the baby need the constant routine of the same cot, room, people? Or is this ok? I’ve no idea what would be considered normal. 6 weeks, 6 months, a year? 18 months?? Any advice/insights would be much appreciated.

I breastfed for 22 months but was never able to express enough for a bottle. You won't know how you feel about it until baby is here

Op I'm picking up your comment about having an existing condition.

It might be better for your DM to help you in the daytime while DH is at work rather than overnight.

I had two babies who only slept in the day while moving, yes moving, they'd sleep in the car or pram. I'd walk them for miles but the second the pram stopped Bing they were awake. Bang went my break. (Aparently they took after their mother)🤦‍♀️

It takes 6 weeks to get BFing established. That's your first priority. Don't attempt to express during that time. And I'd try to avoid using bottles because that's when your boots end up engorged and sore.

Watch out for the competitive Grannys, OH if your mums having him a night, I want her a night.

My oldest was 9mths when I left him over night and I was really nevervous I'd committed to an event that I wasn't able to pull out of. LO was 5mths but he'd been babysat before that. Then I found out later he refused the bottle, refused the cups, my mum resorted to feeding him with a tea spoon of water.

When you're comfortable with it.

Don't be pushed into something you don't want.

Your baby. Do what you feel happy with.

You're not having a baby to keep others happy.

Mind he had sleepovers aged 4+. Grandparents couldn't cope with them anyway and complained they got up too early.

I can’t understand why it’s up for discussion tbh. Wait until baby is here and see how you feel.

Personally, there is no way I would have been separated from my baby overnight.

My 7 month old still wakes to be fed about 6-7 times a night, and won’t take a bottle… strangely not got a long line of people asking to take her overnight though 😂

I would like to contribute to this thread as I’m sure lots of first time parents Google things like this as did I. My daughter is now 11 weeks old and I have had 3 nights away from
her. The first was when she was just over 5 weeks, my friend was back from Canada for two weeks for the first time in over a year and was returning back for longer so YES I went for a night out- I felt horrendously guilty and even worse after reading mumsnet it made me feel like I didn’t love my child. I felt awful for 3 weeks but then realised my daughter was more than fine with my partner and after a rubbish pregnancy I needed to let off some steam. She was a planned pregnancy and I am extremently happy and bonding with her although I’m sure lots of mumnetters would think I’m crazy. The second time she was around 7 weeks old and me and my partner had a food voucher that was close to expiring so my mum offered to have her- again I felt
guilty but I had a lovely time sleeping properly and knew she was being looked after. I’m sure it’s different feelings for breast fed babies as I’m not concerned about pumping etc but if you are able to/offered to have a break TAKE IT! Do not feel guilty/bad- the worst thing you can listen to is other people, I had to unfollow so many TikTok accounts when I because a parent ad I was constantly judging myself and feeling like I was awful but whatever works for you works for you! My child is loved and cared for in so many ways and is gaining a great bond with her grandparents, whilst I am also looking after myself. The third time I have been away from here was tonight when my MIL offered to have her, her grandad hasn’t had much time to see her due to working long hours so it’s a great time for them to bond. In two weeks time my mum is going to have her for two nights due to being immunesurpresent and for two weeks after imms she can’t see her which is also helpful as we are moving house soon so it gives us time to tidy properly! But, I hope someone sees this who is frantically searching ‘is it okay’ and this helps as I was in the same position and sent screenshots to friends saying I was a terrible parent for even considering this but as long as your child/ren are loved, safe and looked after then do whatever you need to do, whether that be getting drunk, eating hot food or simply sleeping- take advance of the childcare!