Hubby fell asleep feeding our newborn

[Axelsmum]

Hi guys,
new to this so apologies if I’m doing this wrong. Last night hubby was doing night feed, I heard baby crying so went in to the living room to see if he wanted a hand and baby was on the floor and hubby asleep on sofa - he had fallen asleep feeding him and he rolled off. I was hysterical and so was poor hubby when he realised. Both absolutely terrified. Baby absolutely fine not a single mark on him thank god but now I’m terrified about letting him do night feeds. I’ve felt myself nodding off doing them before so I know how easy it is and we spent the first week in hospital in nicu so got no sleep so both shattered. Have now made a pact to do night feeds together for the time being but any other tips or advice or calming words? My anxiety is through the roof! I can only imagine how awful hubby is feeling too!

Your attitude is exactly why men feel excluded from child care chores or exclude themselves for fear of criticism or being accused of being 'untrustworthy'.

People make mistakes, all parents make mistakes and get stuff wrong or dont do things quite right.

You need to do shifts for the next couple of months otherwise it's just impossible. No point you both being exhausted it makes like too hard.

I was 21 when I had DS and knew nothing but not once did I l let him fall on the fall and keep crying loudly while I was asleep on the sofa not waking up to the cries - I was a single mum so he was 100% my responsibility.
Nor did I carry on sleeping all night while he cried and god knows what else I read about fathers doing on mumsnet this evening.
Totally unacceptable.

Floor that should say not fall. If you feel exhausted and think you are going to nod off then for goodness sake make sure the baby is on something s/he won't fall off Think ahead. Its not like he just fell into a sudden coma or fainted, he must have know he was sleepy enough to nod off and should have made sure the baby was safe.
If he can sleep through the baby falling on the floor and the subsequent cries then he can sleep through falling asleep on the babies face and suffocate the baby. I wouldn't trust him any more.

There can't be many parents who haven't nodded off feeding a baby, I certainly did when ds was a baby & having night feeds, the lack of sleep was terrible.

Off topic as you've already had good advice given... But how did he not wake. You heard and by time you'd gone to see what had happened your DH was STILL none the wiser the baby had fallen? 😳

Don’t spread misinformation. Noah-Lee did not pass away from positional asphyxiation nor suffocation (though those were high risks with the way my husband had fallen asleep holding our daughter). SUIDS is HORRIBLE and has taken our daughter from us. It’s tragedy enough in itself without you you spreading blame where it isn’t.