Quick Poll Please Answer: DS 6mths I am stopping night feeds...how many nights shall I sit with him while he cries?

[theprecious]

He's fine - not hungry, just likes a bit of boobie in the night.

I've sat with him for three nights, while he's cried for 1-.30hr to 45mins. I have been singing and rocking him so he knows I am there. He's more angry at not being picked up than anything else.

How long would you do this for until I leave put the earplugs in and leave him to it?

My DS is hungry though and I am still feeding him!

I've been a chronically sleep deprived mother, still am sleep deprived though my youngest is nearly 4 years old!

Of course the OP knows her baby best - but equally why is he awake and crying for up 1.3 hours in the night if he doesn't need or want something?

3 meals a day for a 6 month old isn't necessarily enough unless he is having lots of milk too.

Good posts Chibi and Sarah.

Back to lurking!

My advice would be to give a little water to him when he wakes that would get him used to not getting a feed but may settle him a bit more easily. Over time he won't bother to wake for just water and will learn there is no food coming.

I think you're doing the right thing though by trying to work him out of a feed. Both mine were out of night feeds about then and i did it the above way. Even if he wakes in the night now (nearly 8 months) and i know he is hungry (poor feed before bed time) then i still would never feed him, just give him plenty of water and yes let him cry. I'll always go to him after a while but never givee in and feed him. Babies are cleverer then we give them credit for and i'm not falling into the trap of going back to night feeds!!! NO WAY.

Now i'll bet that makes me a bad Mum too???

I am only now when my dd2 is 17 months trying to drop the night feeds. She now has a modicum of understanding of sleep time and "dd you can have milk later".

I don't object to giving her bf's during the night but bfing 6x plus every night for this long is exhausting and i am working 50 hrs a week as a CM.

I can't imagine how i would/could ever have refused/witheld a basic need from my 6 month old baby Even if your ds is not really hungry he may well be looking for the comfort of being cradled by his mummy.

at "babies are cleverer than we give them credit for"

well, i don't think that ds2 is thick. neither do i think he's trying to trick me when he wakes in the night

I think there´s a difference between thinking your child is clever and thinking they´re sneaky and devious nannyjo I´m really surprised that you say that even when you know your ds is waking up crying because he´s hungry, you won´t feed him. I do find that quick shocking actually, yes.

quick shocking?

quite, even.

I don't think that babies are trying to trick anyone either. If a baby is genuinely needing to feed 6 times in the night, I would think that perhaps that baby isn't getting enough calories during the day - maybe you should feed them more during the day? If they are having 3 meals a day and lots of milk feeds, it is not then outrageous to consider that perhaps they are waking for another reason.

Some however may need help learning to sleep at night. Mine did.

8mths was when i stopped and it was 3 nights of unsettled ness but not much more.

maveta I think there is a clear divide between those of us who believe our babies cry because they need something and those who believe their babies cry because they are manipulative little things who just want their own way and we are not going to give it to them are we because then they would grow up to be what

so fall back into night feeds when i've just got out of them just for one nights unger? no thanks plenty oof water and a good feed in a few hours won't kill i don't think

and i'll laugh my arse of if i'm told it'll f**k with his head.

I have heard that the way to cut down on night feeds is a don't offer don't refuse policy. Try to settle lo by other means first, if this doesn't work, offer boob. It might be worth sending in your dp to do the settling so that your ds doesn't smell milk.

about my earlier post (feeding 6x in the night) I am referring to an older baby, 6 months+. It is of course totally normal and to be expected that newborns should feed like this.

thanks for all the replies. A bit more info then:

If ds wakes at 2/3am for a feed then it's less time between feeds than he has in the day sometimes.

Also if I put the nightlight on to change his nappy, then he stops crying and smiles at me. He's instantly fine.

Oh I do offer him water, he spits it out. I do also pick him when he gets really cross and calm him down. He doesn't chew my shoulder like he does when hungry, but cries once replaced in the amby.

If I can persuade him to sleep till say 5am then I will be less tired, and I will be a better mummy during the day. As the adult in the relationship surely it's better for me to make a judgement call?

sure nannyjo, don´t you lose any sleep over it

Hey Project,how's you??

how long do you leave between milk feeds in the day then?

i only leave 4 hrs between feeds for my 24 week old

precious why change the nappy unless there is a poo I feed mine 2or 3 times a night and don't change the nappy
maybe increasing daytime feeds would help him sleep longer at night

x post tutter

It's a bugger though I do!! Don't worry though the ear plugs work wonders!!!

I also put the ear plugs in when social are at my door telling me to not let my baby cry at night!!

I have to say nannyjo that is one of the best lines I have heard in yonks!

Sorry Maveta!

Precious - why do you change his nappy in the night? Don;t change unless has done a poo. The problem seems not to be that he is hungry but that he can't get back to sleep hence why you are spending hours holding him while he is crying. I would try the touch and shh method and pop in and out at longer time periods if he isn;t hungry or thirsty. You are both up half the night because he has a nappy change is insane.

I have earplugs too!