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Sleep

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Original poster

Quick Poll Please Answer: DS 6mths I am stopping night feeds...how many nights shall I sit with him while he cries?

125 replies

theprecious · 07/01/2008 10:53

He's fine - not hungry, just likes a bit of boobie in the night.

I've sat with him for three nights, while he's cried for 1-.30hr to 45mins. I have been singing and rocking him so he knows I am there. He's more angry at not being picked up than anything else.

How long would you do this for until I leave put the earplugs in and leave him to it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pulapula · 07/01/2008 21:19

Sorry didn't mean to post my last message twice.

You can tell by their cries, body language, gap since or quality/ quantity of last feed etc if they are hungry.

Pannacotta · 07/01/2008 21:23

And what about feeding for comfort? Or perhaps that is not allowed at 6 months...

Octo · 07/01/2008 21:27

Completely unrelated - posted a thread last week but still unsure - can ds3 at eight months have cows milk as a drink with his dinner instead of water? It wouldn't be his main drink/feed and would still use formula but can he just have a cup???

karen999 · 07/01/2008 21:52

I think you have to wait until 1yr b4 they have cows milk (I could be wrong)

Do you give water, because if you do I would just stick to it.

lucywill · 07/01/2008 21:52

OOH I would feed him too. I honestly think 6 months is really small... he will probably stop waking when he doesn't need food, but do feed if he cries - 30 minutes long long time! Being hungry will be very upsetting for him. Good luck, I know it is so tiring and as has already been said we are put under pressure to get them all sleeping through ridiculously young.

kayjayel · 07/01/2008 22:02

theprecious - Completely aside from the CC debate, I wanted to pick up on you saying that you didn't see him giving up milk on his own anytime soon - I would have said the same about DS at 6mths (feeding about 5 times per night at that point) and he gave it all up on his own at 8 mths. I just wanted to point out that babies are ridiculously surprising. I had feel like I fed him 24 hours a day for 6 mths then it tailed off and he couldn't care less. All this 'rod for your own back' stuff is crap - just makes you worry about future problems when you've got enough to deal with coping on disturbed sleep and carrot puree on the walls. So if you can cope with it now he might surprise you by giving it up himself when he's ready.

Jackstini · 07/01/2008 22:15

Hopefully, you are thinking again re this and will continue to feed him when he wants.
If you do want to try cc a bit later, please don't let him cry for so long and also don't sit next to him. Leave the room - how confused will the poor mite be that you are there but don't pick him up and give him comfort Get your dp/dh to go in if he does cry, no milk smell will help

Original poster

theprecious · 08/01/2008 09:11

So last night.......Ds woke at 3am. I went in and put the night light on. He's smiling at me and going Blah blah flah (very cute). I rock him and he squirming a lot, so I decide to check his nappy.

Well somehow I managed to mistake a bollock for a poo . Not sure how I managed that, we have been giving him a fair amount of butternut squash.

So then he was wide awake! Damn!

Rocked him for a bit more. Dp had forgotten to leave out the water so when he started whinging I gave him the end of the dreamfeed formula in the amby. Then he went off to sleep. Somehow that had all taken an hour, but no crying. He had about 1fl.

So I am at the no crying but that we are kind of back to square one.

Tutter - what's the reducing nightfeed method you mentioned? I will have a look in the bf section.

OP posts:

Original poster

theprecious · 08/01/2008 09:12

(as I changed the nappy unnecessarily)

OP posts:

ChubbyShcotsBurd · 08/01/2008 10:34

the precious I have only skimread so forgive me if this has been mentioned. I too have a 5.5mo DS and he feeds 2-4 times in the night (by that I mean between 11 and 7). We cosleep so I don't mind. But he's night-feeding far more frequently now than he used to, and that's because he's SO excited by the world that he doesn't take much during the day. Personally I don't think solids count at this age because the amount they take and the calories they consume are minimal and the main source of nutrition is still milk.

If I have had a bad few nights I have a really quiet day with DS and offer him frequent feeds in a quiet dark room, often feeding him to sleep for naps if I can. He then sometimes wakes less.

But I hate the thought that he might be hungry and miserable. I remember being a child myself (not 6mo obviously!) and how long and lonely the night was if you woke up. I would say if you're being met with strong resistance from your DS at this stage, forget trying to change things and give him another month/few weeks to see if things settle on their own. If not then try again - he will be older and you might have more luck. But definitely don't sit beside him and not meet his needs - it's just going to confuse him terribly when he's upset yet you're just sitting there doing nothing about it.

pulapula · 08/01/2008 14:12

Theprecious- when DS wakes, does he cry, or are you just aware he's awake? If he's not crying, I'd be tempted to see if he'll settle himself without going in to him. If I hear DS grisling I usually wait a few minutes to see if it escalates before going up to him. I also have his monitor on low so I only hear him if he's noisy...

I also get the smiles and cooing if I decide to change DSs nappy in the night, and then he gets a bit cranky when he realises I'm putting him back to bed, but will always fall asleep within minutes (less than 20 and often just a few). I'm sure the more you do this, he'll fall asleep again with no fuss and it only took an hour last night due to nappy change etc.

Original poster

theprecious · 08/01/2008 14:46

pulapula - I try to leave him before going in, and he does self settle during the day (sometimes!).

Am going to carry on with the water plan. Re-reading this thread with people still being woken up in 2months / 1 year....I can't do it. I love ds dearly but I don't think he's hungry and I don't want to carry on getting up in the night.

OP posts:

mummymagic · 08/01/2008 15:03

But you do realise this is only ONE reason babies wake up during the night, don't you?

Our babies are nearly two years old (in my group of mum-friends) and still everyone gets woken up occasionally for various reasons (sometimes completely unknown). Even my friend who has the best sleeping baby I know (sleeping through from 3 weeks ) still gets woken up.

Of course, it is your decision but do be aware that the ability to soothe your baby back to sleep quickly with milk/breast/cuddles/mother's touch is a very convenient and useful one!

Original poster

theprecious · 08/01/2008 15:11

oh I am happy to be woken up every so often, I am not saying I will never get up. I want ds to drop his 3am wake up, which I think is a habit, not a need.

CSB - Ds would go loopy if I kept him in all day but thanks for the advice.

nannyjo - thanks too - any other advice?

OP posts:

Sushipaws · 08/01/2008 21:11

Hi,
I have a non-sleeping, night feeding 9 month old dd. At 5 months she was feeding every 60 to 90 minutes, it drove me mad and I got really depressed. I tried the pick up put down method and thought it was rubbish, I bought the no cry sleep solution and again didn't work for us. At 6.5 months I took action. I decided to not feed her for the longest period she could go without feeds during the day (4 hours) and I rocked her on my knee. She would sleep and cry on and off but it got better on the second night. Then I gave myself realistic targets, for example no feeding between 11pm and 6am, unless I can't settle her in 60 minutes, then offer a short feed. It took about 3 nights to get this established, then I gave up the rocking and just put my arms in the cot. I withdrew my arms and started a small amout of cc over 5 nights. DD then fed at 7pm, 11pm, 6am and would wake up for her breakfast at 8.30am. Life was good.

Then she started nursery and got bronchalitis, then a mystery virus, then the sickness/pooing bug and only now am I trying to reduce the night feeds. For the last few night I've been giving porridge before bed and rocking her so she doesn't feed between 11 and 5am. My friend gave me a book "Solve your child's sleep problems" by Dr Richard Ferber so I've started this tonight. It's a mixture between cc and reducing the feeds slowly, so far so good.

I think if your ds is crying for more than an hour you should offer a short feed but don't let him fall asleep while feeding.

Your not evil for wanting to have a decent nights sleep.

Good Luck

pulapula · 09/01/2008 07:51

How was your night theprecious?

Original poster

theprecious · 09/01/2008 08:46

hello! What a lovely morning it is too.

DS woke at 3am (he must have an alarm clock). I picked him up, cuddled him, gave him some water. He had a bit of the water, I had some too as was thirsty. He made a half hearted attempt to arch back into bf position. Then I stood up and cuddled him a bit more. He fell asleep. So I put him down, then apart from a "squawk", he stayed down till 6.30.

Then, he put himself to sleep for his morning nap .

Thank you all for the support, I am so pleased I stopped listening to him cry but kept up with the water plan. Fingers crossed for tonight.

OP posts:

Jackstini · 09/01/2008 09:08

Well done precious! Sounds much more positive for you both, am really pleased for you.

Jackstini · 09/01/2008 09:08

Well done precious! Sounds much more positive for you both, am really pleased for you.

mummymagic · 09/01/2008 09:23

Well done! Sounds lovely and am not at all jealous

(and yes, all babies seem to wake at 3am. V weird)

Jennster · 09/01/2008 16:28

I, like other posters have said, think you know your baby better than anybody else. Personally I think my ds's waking earlier and earlier is due to hunger because he is a big boy and we haven't started food yet, and there will be a calorie deficit when we introduce food but when I got pregnant with ds, dd was only 9 months old, and 10 when I found out. I decided that the night feed I was still doing was just the last straw in the knackering stakes. My expressing was almost negligible and I need it for nursery, so I made dh get up and give her a bottle of formula. Now she hated bottles anyway, and the wait for them to be made up might have had something to do with it too, but SUDDENLY she decided she didn't want a feed in the night and started sleeping through within a few weeks! She was also only the same weight ds is now and eating poorly during the day. I hope this helps!

sarah71 · 09/01/2008 19:50

Really pleased for you precious, fingers crossed for another good night

justabouttosplashoutinthesales · 10/01/2008 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

theprecious · 22/01/2008 11:10

update: Ds now sleeping through say 3 out of 5 nights, with a dreamfeed at 10.30pm. He usually wakes at 6.30am but I can cope with that!

He seems to have stopped the 2/3am wake up (thank god) and will now sometimes wake at 5am for some water.

am very pleased, it's taken about 3weeks but has been worth it.

OP posts:

tictacto · 22/01/2008 11:11

till he stops.

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