How do you get your baby to sleep?

[Hopeisaprison]

FTM with 14 week old feeling completely overwhelmed by all the advice on how you should approach sleep. I feel like I'm always doing it all wrong.

I feel like I must be the only one who's baby feeds to sleep at night and then gets put down when asleep. Are other people's babies really able to be put down when drowsy but awake as per the advice?? And don't even get me started on daytime naps! Baby still wants to be held.

I have read all the stuff and I fully understand the principles of teaching your baby how to be able to fall asleep without too much "help"...but this just seems completely impossible.

I feel like I'm messing it all up.

Yes I did put my babies down while drowsy and they would get themselves to sleep.
Routine routine routine. From the very first day home I did: bath, story (made up if teeny tiny) , feed, a Little cuddle then put down. Waited a couple minutes with lights off then left. If baby fussed/cried for more than a couple minutes back in there, no lights, no picking up, just soothing voice and a couple strokes. Repeat. By a couple months they were going to sleep fine.

Please don't feel like you're doing anything wrong! My little one is 14 months and still contact naps; falls asleep on us at night and co-sleeps. We literally break every 'rule' around it but it's the only way we get any sleep so we do what we have to do! Stop worrying and do what is right for you...

@shivawn

My baby is 14 weeks old tomorrow and I could have written your post word for word!

How are things going @shivawn?

@Notwithittoday

Honestly it doesn’t matter. You just do whatever they need day by day and eventually they need you less and less. Then you’ll miss all the snuggles

So. Much. This.

I did whatever the hell I needed to do to get through.

Every baby is different. What works for one will not work for another. You'll get people who swear by different methods. Might not be a fit for you though!

I remember one sleep consultant saying "it's only a problem if it's a problem for you " which I think is important advice.

I also remember realising at one point all the "don't do X otherwise they'll always rely on it" is kind of bollocks in the end. I also bottle fed my son, and changed his nappies. And he grew out of those things! You won't still be feeding to sleep when your child is 18. That really helped me put things in perspective.

Drowsy but awake is impossible for the majority of babies and I feel like those who say it’s not, just simply have babies who don’t reply on feeding/rocking to sleep.

My friends baby is the most chilled thing I’ve ever met and just falls asleep on his own and always has, mine not so much and she doesn’t understand when I say how tedious and exhausting it is because she’s oblivious.

Yes I did put my babies down while drowsy and they would get themselves to sleep.
Routine routine routine. From the very first day home I did: bath, story (made up if teeny tiny) , feed, a Little cuddle then put down. Waited a couple minutes with lights off then left. If baby fussed/cried for more than a couple minutes back in there, no lights, no picking up, just soothing voice and a couple strokes. Repeat. By a couple months they were going to sleep fine

You make it sound easy but my baby would simply scream the place down if she was put down, from day one. I kept trying for a while but when is enough? She’s a newborn and I wasn’t going to spend my time trying and trying (unsuccessfully) to soothe a hysterical baby who just wanted a cuddle.

I was back at work by 4 months so needed them badly to sleep.
Stopped bf (had got them to take a bottle from ten days so as not to have a bottle refuser), fed them porridge at bed time, put them in their own dark room, encouraged reliance on blankets and teddies and never ever ever brought them into our bed. Also wasn't afraid to let them cry a bit.
Great sleepers from four or five months.
This was 20 years ago so some recommendations may have changed. All bonded well enough and no childhoods marred by sleep deprivation.