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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

How do you get your baby to sleep?

57 replies

Hopeisaprison · 24/01/2022 21:50

FTM with 14 week old feeling completely overwhelmed by all the advice on how you should approach sleep. I feel like I'm always doing it all wrong.

I feel like I must be the only one who's baby feeds to sleep at night and then gets put down when asleep. Are other people's babies really able to be put down when drowsy but awake as per the advice?? And don't even get me started on daytime naps! Baby still wants to be held.

I have read all the stuff and I fully understand the principles of teaching your baby how to be able to fall asleep without too much "help"...but this just seems completely impossible.

I feel like I'm messing it all up.

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Yuckypretty · 24/01/2022 21:53

Have you tried it?

TwinMum89 · 24/01/2022 21:57

You are not doing anything wrong. I have 2.5 year old twins. I could never put them down drowsy but awake. We fed the, rocked them and laid them down asleep until after they turned 1pm. We then moved to laying with them and now sit between them and hold their hands if they want us to.

Your baby is still so young and it is perfectly normal to fall feed to sleep.

lilroo87 · 24/01/2022 21:58

Drowsy but awake is not the best advice. My 6 month old is fed to sleep and goes through phases of contact naps or having to be on the boob for her whole nap. I just go with it as it's usually all phases.
Check out these Instagram accounts for sleep, they are all brilliant and make me realise it's all completely normal.
Foxandthemooninfantsleep
Littlenestsleep
Heysleepybaby
Lyndsey_hookway

busyeatingbiscuits · 24/01/2022 21:58

I never fed to sleep after the first one.
With the others I did dummy, white noise, comforter and motion. Then weaned off motion once they were in a solid nap routine.

biscuitcat · 24/01/2022 22:01

My nearly six month old is always fed to sleep, and all our naps are contact naps/motion naps in the pram/sling/car seat - he's a high maintenance little soul so anything that makes my life easier is fine by me. I'm sure at some point he'll learn to sleep a bit more independently, but it's working for us now so I'm not feeling any pressure to change it yet. If it's working for you, then keep going! It's only if you're finding it a problem that you would want to think about changing when they're this little.

ThankyouwithacapitalR · 24/01/2022 22:05

My daughter always fed to sleep. And i still stay in her room until she is asleep - she's 4 now. I enjoy the cuddles and watching her sleep.
Your baby is still tiny, do what feels right for you and your baby, and don't worry about what you think others are doing, its absolutely your decision and not for anyone to meddle with or make you doubt yourself x

Garman · 24/01/2022 22:08

It's biologically normal for babies to feed to sleep. My 3rd dc is 16 weeks and always feeds to sleep unless in the sling, car or buggy. Nighttime all my babies have all fed to sleep.

thebigpurpleone · 24/01/2022 22:09

Look up wake windows. Try and avoid feeding, rocking etc to sleep or the baby will rely on this.

CloneAViralMess · 24/01/2022 22:10

The drowsy but awake theory is a complete myth to me. Never ever ever worked with my first child. I had to get baby very very sleepy so that I could trick her into believing I was still there then sneak out of the room!
I now have a 4 month old that I feed to sleep every single time (apart from car naps). I've learnt to just take advice on websites with a large pinch of salt and to go with the flow instead. If your instinct is to feed to sleep then do it. Be kind to yourself. Do what feels right and whatever works.
I did find Elizabeth Pantley's books useful- she has a kind approach to both the baby and parents.

FelicityBob · 24/01/2022 22:10

Always fed to sleep. Always. And if they woke in the night - boob in, back to sleep. They are now school age and I can assume you they have been going to sleep on their own for years

BlueOysterCult · 24/01/2022 22:10

Fed my son to sleep until he was about 8 months old when he randomly just started wanting to look around the room before being put into his cot. From then on I put him into bed awake and he'd put himself to sleep. Don't stress - it'll work itself out at some point xxxx

Tee20x · 24/01/2022 22:11

I still feed mine to sleep at almost 13 months. Not bothered by it one bit. I used to be - but she naps fine at nursery on her own in cot & she naps fine when her dad has her for the day.

Those two things were my biggest concerns but the fact that she is able to fall asleep and stay asleep without me has somewhat put my mind at rest.

Just do whatever makes your life easier. I'm sure there's a saying that's like it's not a problem until it's a problem for you.

Notwithittoday · 24/01/2022 22:15

Honestly it doesn’t matter. You just do whatever they need day by day and eventually they need you less and less. Then you’ll miss all the snuggles

roarfeckingroarr · 24/01/2022 22:16

At about 13 months my baby was just able, with a little rocking then patting plus white noise, to stop feeding to sleep and co-sleeping. I let him cry for a few min now but not long. It seemed unnatural to sleep train a tiny baby and they get it when they're ready.

AliasGrape · 24/01/2022 22:17

18 months in and my only advice is just do whatever makes your life easier and gets you the most sleep.

Drowsy but awake works for some babies. It does not work for mine. She has only ever contact napped with me (unless she’s fallen asleep in the car or pram) I still cuddle her to sleep now and put her in her cot asleep.

She naps fine at the Childminder’s so I guess she is physically capable of going down ‘drowsy but awake’ for me but she has never ever done it for me or her dad and I seriously regret the amount of time I spent trying to get her to, and feeling like a total failure because I couldn’t.

LethargeMarg · 24/01/2022 22:17

One thing I found helped was however you get your baby to sleep try and keep to similar times - so with my second and third we were always out walking to school or playgroup around 9am so my baby would always fall asleep in the pram or sling on the walk ant in the afternoon if I lay in bed feeding to sleep (following all co sleeping safety advice) I could then sneak off when the baby was asleep- this was especially useful with naps in the day .to start with after feeding to sleep I'd read a book while my baby slept next to me in case she stirred but if I did it at the same time everyday we got into a bit of a nap routine and i was able to get a bit of time while she napped in our bed and eventually move towards daytime naps in the cot - think it was more about timings- so once in a routine of being in the pram for a walk or feeding to cosleep (with me slipping out of bed after a few minutes) at say 1 o'clock ever afternoon it was much easier putting a drowsy baby in to the cot at these times as she was used to sleeping at this time.
I wouldn't worry about anything much more at this age though and don't worry to much about everyone else - my three were very 'attached' Velcro young babies that only wanted to sleep on me and all three were sleeping through the night in their cots going to bed awake and self settling by one . Babies are adaptable so don't worry about 'bad habits' or anything like that at 14 weeks,

Justkeepswimming91 · 24/01/2022 22:23

I say this not to be facetious but have you tried popping baby in the cot awake but tired and seeing what happens.

I say this because I got myself in a tizz wondering how to get my DS to sleep and worrying about creating 'habits'. Then about four months one day I just popped in cot and patted with dummy and off to sleep they went. I'd worked it all up in my head so much and was so worried if I just put him down he'd cry but turned out ok.

COOKIEDOUGH222 · 24/01/2022 22:24

Mine has always fed to sleep (boob) or in sling/car/pram. 7 months. No intention of stopping, they will let you know when their ready to sleep a bit mor independently. It's completely normal to feed to sleep/sleep next to mum, we're designed to be in close contact with our young. You are doing nothing wrong! I second the IG accounts above to help you see how normal this is- our society is the problem making us think babies should sleep through the night!!

Chocolateteabag · 24/01/2022 22:24

@FelicityBob

Always fed to sleep. Always. And if they woke in the night - boob in, back to sleep. They are now school age and I can assume you they have been going to sleep on their own for years

Same for me - fed them to sleep until they were old enough for stories and first teeth came through. Then bottles were replaced by toddler sports bottles with water and we read books before bed - they naturally stopped "feeding to sleep"

Book before bed and then a nighttime thing that plays a tune/soft light became the next routine

There will always be the rough patches - but they won't always want to be with you so enjoy it while it lasts

8&11 now - and I only get a rare sleep with the eldest when he is having a school anxiety based sleepless night (which is soo much harder to resolve!)

Stade197 · 24/01/2022 22:29

My boys is 5 months and i can't put him to bed drowsy, he has to fall asleep on me and then I carry him up and lay him in his cot. If he wakes as I put him in he won't fall back to sleep in there I have to get him back out to fall asleep on me then try again.

I have tried leaving him in his cot awake & drowsy but he just cries and won't settle

DP2019 · 24/01/2022 22:30

Hello.
My 6 month old does bath, book, feed to sleep. My now 3 year old used to do the same too !
It's biologically normal - you do what feels right to you. If baby wants to feed to sleep and your happy doing so.... keep doing it.

firstimemamma · 24/01/2022 22:36

Drowsy but awake is unrealistic for a lot of babies especially so young and stresses a lot of people out so you're not alone there. My ds napped on me until 10 months and I breastfed him to sleep for a year. Absolutely no issues created, just a secure bond. We stopped breastfeeding altogether at just under a year and a half and I can assure you he is a perfectly normal and very happy and confident little 3 year old. He's asleep in his bed in his room as I type this and tomorrow he will run off into pre-school forgetting to say goodbye to me probably!

Relax and enjoy your baby. You can't cuddle them too much, feed to sleep too much or hold them too much. 14 weeks is so young still too.

kazzikaz · 24/01/2022 22:37

I've always fed my 14 month old to sleep. Randomly two weeks ago he stopped falling asleep on the boob so I tried putting him down in his cot and he rolled over and went straight to sleep on his own
Don't worry about creating 'bad habits', they will soon get to a point where they don't need the extra help. Keep doing what your doing if you are happy with it.

HalloHello · 24/01/2022 22:37

I fed DD to sleep until she was 16 months. It worked until it didn't and I was fed up so we weaned her off it and lay next to her to help her sleep instead.

I was absolutely determined I wouldn't do the same with my son just for a bit of freedom but here I am feeding him to sleep at almost 5.months old because I can't resist the cuddles, he's my last baby and I just hate it when he cries. I don't think I'll last as long with him as DD because his sleep is terrible but for now, I will enjoy the time with my darling angel boy as I won't ever get to do this again!

LakeShoreD · 24/01/2022 22:42

I never fed to sleep and could put both mine into the cot awake but they still wanted the comfort of sucking so the eldest sucked her thumb (still does at 4) whilst the younger one has a dummy.

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