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Original poster

SIDS and bedtime routine?

36 replies

Cafeaulait27 · 13/11/2021 18:06

Our baby is currently 6 weeks so just thinking for the future…

At the moment he sleeps on us a lot during the day and a little in his Moses basket downstairs with us, and in the evening while we’re watching tv he sleeps on us until we go to bed around 9-9.30pm.

We bath him (not every night yet), change into a sleep suit and new nappy, in the bedroom with dim lighting and whispering, then put him in a love to dream swaddle and put him in his next to me crib.

I’m confused about how we bring this routine earlier as he gets to say 3-4 months and they apparently need to go down between 7-8.30pm, also still adhere to SIDS guidelines?

It seems weird to go to bed with him at 7.30 every night? But reallt want to establish a routine and also adhere to the guidelines.

I’m just really unsure what people actually do?!

Thanks!

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ReadtheFT · 13/11/2021 18:08

Who says they need to go down at 7? Why cant he sleep in the lounge where u are then u move him when u go to bed? Just do what works for you, its still very early days

NerrSnerr · 13/11/2021 18:11

We just kept ours downstairs and they slept on us or in a Moses basket until we went to bed. That worked best for us.

Others will say they put them to sleep and used a monitor- which is what will have worked best for them.

I would take a look at the information on the lullaby trust website and decide what you feel most comfortable with and what you think will be best for you.

There is no rule to say what time they must go down when they're so tiny.

pompomsgalore · 13/11/2021 18:15

Sleep them on the same house level as you.

Ours sleep downstairs in the pram until we go to bed then when they get to 6 months we start to put them in the cot upstairs.

You'll find your way and don't worry about the future just take each day at a time.

Soontobe60 · 13/11/2021 18:17

My dd put her babies into their bedside cribs after their bedtime routine from very early on. So bath, bedtime clothing, feed in the bedroom then straight into their crib. She has a video monitor linked to her phone (Reolink) and an alarm mat so she could see and hear immediately whilst she was downstairs. She also used a silent noise machine for her youngest. Now her youngest is almost 1. When she goes down for a nap, the mere sight of her sleeping bag sends her to sleep! She will crawl onto it and wait to be fastened in.

I do think that having the baby sleep on you so much, whilst can be lovely, is getting them into the routine of falling asleep on a person! I’ve also read that babies should really sleep flat - if they’re lying on you, they’re not actually flat.

grey12 · 13/11/2021 18:21

@ReadtheFT

Who says they need to go down at 7? Why cant he sleep in the lounge where u are then u move him when u go to bed? Just do what works for you, its still very early days
I think mine went to bed at 11 at that age Grin at that age you do your timings. As long as they're getting their sleep it doesn't matter if it's night morning or afternoon or a weird combination 🤷🏻‍♀️
Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 13/11/2021 18:33

Thanks guys. Maybe we’ll just carry on taking him to bed with us for a while at around 9. We’re sort of doing a bedtime routine so maybe it’s fine to just move it earlier and earlier. I read that it’s hard to start a routine once they are 6 months so wanting to get a routine as early as possible.

He has colic and so he doesn’t tend to settle much unless upright during the day unfortunately so he is on us. And in the evening he doesn’t stop crying at all most evenings no matter where he is! It’s not something I want to continue with forever but right now it’s very hard 😟

OP posts:
Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 13/11/2021 18:41

With my first we didn’t keep to SIDS guidelines. We left him upstairs until we went to bed but put one of those under the mattress monitors on.

For next child and after that we took them to bed when we did which resulted in A LOT more sleep. No reason they need to go to bed at 7pm. Ours went to bed at 11pm until they were 8/9months went we brought it forward.

Theresamagicalplace · 13/11/2021 18:51

@Cafeaulait27

Thanks guys. Maybe we’ll just carry on taking him to bed with us for a while at around 9. We’re sort of doing a bedtime routine so maybe it’s fine to just move it earlier and earlier. I read that it’s hard to start a routine once they are 6 months so wanting to get a routine as early as possible.

He has colic and so he doesn’t tend to settle much unless upright during the day unfortunately so he is on us. And in the evening he doesn’t stop crying at all most evenings no matter where he is! It’s not something I want to continue with forever but right now it’s very hard 😟

Have you tried the tiger in the tree hold to help with the colic? After weeks of ours crying my friend showed me it and it was a game changer! Also until 6 months wherever ds was so were we, unfortunately he grew out of the next to me at 3 months so we ended up watching TV and eating in bed until the 6 months 🙈
Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 13/11/2021 18:55

@Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss that is good to know thank you! Maybe we’ll just carry on as we are then 😊

@Theresamagicalplace sadly yes we have and when he’s inconsolable nothing works 😞 it’s hard! But thank you! Xx

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 13/11/2021 18:57

I was weird and went to bed with both my babies at their bedtime until 6 months. I just watched Netflix with headphones till I wanted to sleep and I really enjoyed the rest actually!

dontblamemee · 13/11/2021 19:06

My baby is nearly 11 months and he still sleeps on us until we go to bed.

snackess · 13/11/2021 19:30

My baby slept on me or in Moses basket / crib in the lounge until we went to bed & then in a next
He didn't go into his own room for naps or the evening until around 7-8 months.

museumum · 13/11/2021 19:37

I’m sorry to sound like the voice of doom but many babies have a regression in their sleep at 3-4 months. Around 4mo we had to employ a bit of Co-sleeping plus me going to bed at 8pm just to try to survive! It was pretty hellish for about six weeks but the phase had passed by 6mo and he went into his own cot then.

IcedCoffeeAlways · 13/11/2021 19:54

@MsChatterbox

I was weird and went to bed with both my babies at their bedtime until 6 months. I just watched Netflix with headphones till I wanted to sleep and I really enjoyed the rest actually!
@MsChatterbox I was weird and did the same 😊 and we did bath, bottle, book and bed from about 3/4 months. In the daytime he napped on my chest if we were home or in his pram if we were out until 8/9 months when I started putting him in his cot for naps at home.
Jabvribt · 13/11/2021 19:58

In real life people I know put their babies to bed at 7.30 type bedtime with doors open and frequent checks from 3-4 months but on mumsnet I’ve read about a lot of people who kept babies up or went to bed at the same time. Overall it’s a personal decision. My DD was miserable when we tried to keep her up beyond 7.30 from 4 months whereas my DS would sleep in the lounge in the Moses basket while we watched tv until he was about 5 months

pompomsgalore · 13/11/2021 20:00

I wouldn't worry about 6 months being hard to start routines.
Routines bend and change and also get completely blown up. Do what works at any given period and be flexible

Incywinceyspider · 13/11/2021 20:04

We did a bath/sleepsuit at about 7, then brought him back downstairs, dimmed the lights and then carried on with our evening while he slept in his moses basket until we went to bed. Don't feel you have to sit in silence when they're tiny. They'll sleep through it.

Verbena87 · 13/11/2021 20:07

“ She has a video monitor linked to her phone (Reolink) and an alarm mat so she could see and hear immediately whilst she was downstairs.”

From what I recall from my reading (he’s 4 now so it’s a while ago) it’s less about you being able to hear them, and more about them being able to hear you: I think babies’ regulate their breathing better when there’s an adult in the room even when they’re asleep, so that has safety implications from a SIDS point of view.

We took him up with us until he started complaining about it, then I’d lie in bed reading/knitting/doing sod all while baby slept and husband did the dishes and tidied up downstairs. It felt like a real luxury and I quite miss it (now that I have my boobs to myself again and have forgotten how tired I was 🤣)

FTMbg · 13/11/2021 20:10

We actually stuck to the guidelines with our colic baby, to begin with it was 3am before she settled anyway but it gradually stretched to a 10 hour sleep most nights, at least one of us is normally tired enough to go to bed when baby is transferred to cot (8-10pm depending), I'd rather get the sleep in in case she wakes early or in the night.

Timeturnerplease · 13/11/2021 20:21

While I’d have loved to have enjoyed sleepy cuddles downstairs watching tv, it doesn’t work if you have nosey light sleepers.

DD1 lasted until about six weeks before she would scream hysterically from 6pm until we took her to bed in a dark room. DD2 lasted until three weeks. We’d put them down, have dinner quickly and then one of us would go and lie in the bedroom and read until adult bedtime. By about 3 months we extended the time we stayed downstairs to about two hours - DD2 is 14 weeks and I’m just about to go to lie with her now.

I don’t regret those months of early bedtimes for us for a moment. It remains to be seen with DD2, but DD1 was always been excellent at bedtime (even if not so great overnight) and meant we completely bypassed the witching hour.

I think it depends on baby temperament though. Both of ours are very short day nappers, so are ready for bedtime by 6. If you have a decent napper then it will be different.

33goingon64 · 13/11/2021 20:24

With DS we put him upstairs at 8pm after 5 weeks and we sat downstairs for an hour to have grown up time, then I went up to join him at 9pm as I'd be up again at midnight/1pm feeding.

Royalgalas · 13/11/2021 20:45

Oh jeez this thread is almost making me feel bad! We put our daughter to bed upstairs at 7pm from six weeks. Honestly, I needed the space and the "the baby's down" feeling. We'd go and check on her every hour but honestly, I couldn't see any huge risk in having her asleep with a monitor on, in a cool bedroom, in an appropriate weight sleeping bag, on her back and on a firm crib mattress Confused I'll be doing the same again with my second baby.

NerrSnerr · 13/11/2021 20:48

@Royalgalas

Oh jeez this thread is almost making me feel bad! We put our daughter to bed upstairs at 7pm from six weeks. Honestly, I needed the space and the "the baby's down" feeling. We'd go and check on her every hour but honestly, I couldn't see any huge risk in having her asleep with a monitor on, in a cool bedroom, in an appropriate weight sleeping bag, on her back and on a firm crib mattress Confused I'll be doing the same again with my second baby.
Why the Confused face. You make the right decision for you and others do the same for them and their own situation.
HopelesslyHopeful87 · 13/11/2021 20:55

@Royalgalas

Oh jeez this thread is almost making me feel bad! We put our daughter to bed upstairs at 7pm from six weeks. Honestly, I needed the space and the "the baby's down" feeling. We'd go and check on her every hour but honestly, I couldn't see any huge risk in having her asleep with a monitor on, in a cool bedroom, in an appropriate weight sleeping bag, on her back and on a firm crib mattress Confused I'll be doing the same again with my second baby.
Don't feel bad. I did that from age 3 weeks. You do what works for you.
MGee123 · 13/11/2021 20:59

We started putting our baby to sleep in her Moses basket upstairs from about 10 weeks. Bedtime is somewhere between 7 and 8 with routine of changing into night time clothes, story and then feed before being put down. Some nights we do a bath as well. We have a video monitor on and go to bed ourselves between 9 and 10.

Up until about 9 weeks old she was staying awake longer with us downstairs and going to 'bed' around 9/9.30, and we would go upstairs at this time too. However she seemed to want to shift this forward herself as she was becoming more and more sleepy pre 9pm so we tried settling her earlier with the routine above and she seems happy with it. Sleeps now from 7/8 until 2 ish for a feed, then sleeps again with a few disturbances until 6.30/7.

Honestly, I know it doesn't comply with SIDS guidance, but the 1-2 hours we get together are a god send. It is lovely to have a tiny bit of normality in the day. Also, just linking with your other post, it's nice to have some quiet time with our dogs. We avoid giving them loads of attention when the baby isn't around so they don't develop a negative association with her, but being around them when not having to hold her etc seems to be enough for them and they relax better in the evenings with her asleep upstairs.