SIDS and bedtime routine?

[Cafeaulait27]

Our baby is currently 6 weeks so just thinking for the future…

At the moment he sleeps on us a lot during the day and a little in his Moses basket downstairs with us, and in the evening while we’re watching tv he sleeps on us until we go to bed around 9-9.30pm.

We bath him (not every night yet), change into a sleep suit and new nappy, in the bedroom with dim lighting and whispering, then put him in a love to dream swaddle and put him in his next to me crib.

I’m confused about how we bring this routine earlier as he gets to say 3-4 months and they apparently need to go down between 7-8.30pm, also still adhere to SIDS guidelines?

It seems weird to go to bed with him at 7.30 every night? But reallt want to establish a routine and also adhere to the guidelines.

I’m just really unsure what people actually do?!

Thanks!

My baby is almost 9 weeks and I've been putting him down to bed at 7-7:30pm for the past couple of weeks.

At first it took a while to get him to nod off not being held but now he goes in his snuzpod sleepy and goes to sleep within 5-10mins.

I have been lying on the bed and just listening through earphones to stuff on my phone but I've just got a monitor so I'm able to have a couple of hours downstairs.

I know some people wouldn't be comfortable with that but it's working for us.

@Royalgalas

Oh jeez this thread is almost making me feel bad! We put our daughter to bed upstairs at 7pm from six weeks. Honestly, I needed the space and the "the baby's down" feeling. We'd go and check on her every hour but honestly, I couldn't see any huge risk in having her asleep with a monitor on, in a cool bedroom, in an appropriate weight sleeping bag, on her back and on a firm crib mattress I'll be doing the same again with my second baby.

From a SIDS guidance perspective there isn’t a ‘huge risk’ but a statistically increased risk, which is why the guidance is that they have all their sleep with an adult in the room until after 6 months. It’s believed that them hearing your breathing helps them to regulate their breathing, and that hearing you in general helps to rouse them slightly and stop them going into too deep a sleep which can be where the SIDS risk is. How compelling the evidence is for that is up for debate, however it’s enough for it to be the guidance. Obviously everyone has to make the decision that works best for them and their baby/ circumstances. Mine was never left to sleep on her own till she was nearly 1 but that was because she just plain wouldn’t rather than being about following rules.

OP - I don’t think the routine matters too much in terms of exact timings - that will change so much anyway as their sleep needs/ wake windows etc change. It’s about doing things in a certain order that signal sleep - so if it’s bath, sleepsuit and sleeping bag on whilst white noise plays or you sing a certain song or whatever - that’s the routine. If once your baby is asleep they’re happy to snooze away on you downstairs until you bring them up to bed that’s fine.

I have a pretty routine averse baby/ near toddler so maybe that’s colouring my view but I wouldn’t get to hung up on it honestly. I honestly think it’s best to just take the view of doing whatever works and gets everyone the most sleep for now, and cross those future bridges when you get to them. They change so much and so many things throw sleep off, it seems daft to get hung up on a 7.30 bedtime or whatever if how things are going now is working for you.

Mine just stayed up with us at night - sometimes until 11pm 😂 only started going to bed at 8 very recently (at 6months)

Try not to have future worries, they change so much over the next few months you don't know what might happen. I had a perfect sleeper at that stage, but she went dreadful at 5 months. Couldn't have put her down early even if I wanted to.

I just let her snooze and feed on a pillow on my lap until we went to bed. Subtitles on TV in case of any sounds and still felt like adult time. Plus I see friends despair about "3rd wake up and it's not even 10pm" etc, it doesn't matter if you're downstairs with them!

Monitors don't protect against SIDs, even the fancy breathing ones, so I wouldn't have put her down alone. That's more important to me than any bedtime routine. But sometimes I cosleep so we all have our personal risk levels.

@MGee123 that sounds like a really good system, and good to give your dogs a bit of time too. We’re looking forward to when we can have a bit of grown up time in the evening and also let our dog have some chill time without the baby too. It’s definitely so good for mental health.

@AliasGrape that’s true, technically we have a routine which we can just move earlier as time goes on. I do think it makes sense that babies need to hear our breathing in to help prevent SIDS, I’m sure cave men etc didn’t sleep with their babies in a separate room, seems more natural to keep them close (although that’s trickier in the modern world).

@Rumples I remember you from the pregnancy board (or maybe it was the TTC board I can’t remember) congrats! That sounds like a good idea, maybe we could take it in turns to do that in the evening. We have noticed our baby seems tired/yawning while we’re downstairs in the evening and wonder if an earlier bedtime would help

I used to enjoy going to bed around 1930 and reading etc, but it was different for me as DH was deployed when DS was a newborn (the joys!) so I wasn't missing out on time with him in the evenings. You can do the bedtime routine but take them back downstairs though, it won't be forever, although to be honest I'm a bit sceptical in how much a routine when they're really young helps set future patterns, so personally I'd carry on doing what works best for you all. I did adhere to the guidelines though and 6 months passed quickly.

@Royalgalas

Oh jeez this thread is almost making me feel bad! We put our daughter to bed upstairs at 7pm from six weeks. Honestly, I needed the space and the "the baby's down" feeling. We'd go and check on her every hour but honestly, I couldn't see any huge risk in having her asleep with a monitor on, in a cool bedroom, in an appropriate weight sleeping bag, on her back and on a firm crib mattress I'll be doing the same again with my second baby.

It's a choice we all have to make for ourselves, I would say thought to make an informed decision it's worth reading up on why it's recommended.

For me personally at that age, unless you have a very good sleeper, it’s more stress than it’s worth. It’s nice to try and get a couple of hours of adult time in the evenings but before about 5-6 months you’d be watching the monitor like a hawk and up and down the stairs for multiple resettles etc. Until about 4 months if DD went to sleep at 7 she’s wake up again by 8 and act like she’d just had a nap and would just carry on being awake for another 1-2 hours! It’s only when they’re in a really solid routine of nighttime being from 7-7 or whatever that it’s worth trying because otherwise when they wake they’ll just be up. Then you feel resentful that your evening has been ruined. IMO better to have low expectations from the start and just keep them down with you!

We put her to bed in a moses basket in the lounge and dimmed the lights. My husband moved her (usually she didn't wake) upstairs to the bedside crib when he went to bed (I went up earlier).

Can I have some tips on a bedtime routine that work and when to start introducing this? Thank you

We went to bed at the same time and watched tv in bed. It was really only a few weeks between his bedtime coming earlier and him being old enough to leave in the evenings.