Can't do this anymore

[seaswim33]

I have a 5 week old who just doesn't sleep wel day or night. I barely sleep at as even when she is asleep I'm too anxious to sleep. She has horrible gas at night and sometimes wakes up and is awake upset for hours. She takes ages to settle to sleep unless I feed her to sleep or use a sling and don't stop moving. I'm unable to look after her independently so I feel a failure. I'm at breaking point, any advice? Heath visitor is concerned and suggested I get some drugs to relax and give her to someone for a
day but will need to pump and have someone do that.... Just can't even think properly right now...

During the daytime, try a bouncy chair for naps if you're at home:

● Sit yourself on the sofa. Have a cuppa, a phone to scroll and the TV remote. Plus something to eat if hungry. Basically have everything to hand that you might need
● Bouncer at your feet. Baby in it, with dummy.
● Use your foot to bounce. Be non-stop about it. Even tempo bouncing, about hear rate speed, don't stop at all.
● Largely just focus in your own self care during this time. Watch tv, relax, drink a warm drink, eat. But all the time keep the bouncing going using your foot, and reinsert dummy if needed.

Also, limit awake time to around an hour. Your daytime can become repeating cycles of:

● Wake
● Feed then wind
● Floor time / tummy time
● First grumble - pick up, wind, check nappy - put back on floor
● Second grumble = settling to sleep time
● Offer top up feed
● Dummy in, into bouncer, you sat in sofa, bounce bounce bounce bounce with your foot non stop
● Wake and repeat.....

The whole cycle might last 2h or so at this age, with awake time anything from 45 mins to 1h15m.

Haven’t read the full thread but you say baby hates being swaddled, which swaddles do you use? My baby is 9 weeks and used to be swaddled with her arms down and wouldn’t settle, but hated sleeping bag as she’d fling her arms around and wake herself up - I’ve just ordered a swaddle with arms up and have a good feeling about it.

About the dummy, have you tried different types? I tried every brand available until I found one she’d take. It’s the bib ones with the cherry shaped teet and they’ve been a life saver.

Also forgot to say I’m sorry you are having a hard time

I didn't sleep last night at all, what do I do?!

@seaswim33 I haven't read the whole thread. How old is baby now? Is baby upset in the evening/night?

What I used to do with my LO who hated sleep and had awful tummy problems (sometimes only slept 2 stints of 45 mins in a whole night) to help:

•Continuous white noise
•Blacked our room, no tv etc
•We held him until he fell asleep, waited 20 minutes and then put him down, bum first then his head so he didn't feel like he was falling
•Sleeping bag
•Hot water bottle on crib mattress so it didn't startle him when putting him down (of course don't keep it in with baby whilst they're asleep)
•Dummy - he didn't take one at first either but we tried a few different brands and finally found some that worked

If your LO is still suffering with tummy problems speak to your doctor. I'd also recommend speaking to a breast feeding specialist to check your latch as this maybe causing baby to take in too much air. Other things to consider are:

•Tongue tie?
•Did you have a traumatic birth? As this can cause tension in baby and can be looked at by a cranial osteopath.
•Did you or baby have antibiotics? Baby could need probiotics to help their tummy.
•Allergies?

People have given lots of good advice on here, have you tried anything different?

@seaswim33

I didn't sleep last night at all, what do I do?!

Not sleeping when given the opportunity indicates a decline on mental health. Can you book a doctor's appointment for your mental health? It might be that your medication needs changing.

What did you do last night with baby's sleeo? What happened?

I get the impression she means that her baby didn't sleep or settle so she couldn't have the opportunity to sleep ?
Hope you are ok op and have good support around you . It's so hard x

You say your baby will go down to sleep for a couple of hours in your next to me crib at 9. You need to sleep then. Mine also does the same at 9. So I sleep at 9. Then when he wakes I sit up with him to breastfeed as I can't get feeding lying down to work comfortably for us. It's not fun having to sit up like that when tired multiple times in the night but it's what works for a comfortable feed.

You also say your baby does co-sleep. So go with that. Mine also is a mixture of the next to me crib and co-sleeping. If he goes down in the crib, great. If he doesn't, I don't spend ages trying to settle him. I just bring him straight into bed with me. It's both worth the stress.

The night is a cycle of waking to feed, nappy changes, sometimes bringing up milk and needing sleep suit changed as it's soaked. Sometimes he sleeps for 3 hours. Sometimes I'm woken by him only a half hour after he goes down again.

It's tough but you need to go with what you've got and you say your baby does sleep for a couple of hours in the crib and also will co-sleep. Go with it. Then pass baby to your husband for an extra 2 hours in the morning for some more undisturbed sleep.

It's still so hard, I had another sleepless night last night. I'm on the edge. I'm so so miserable. I've tried everything. This is going to be the worse Xmas ever.

I'm on sleeping pills to help me sleep and they don't even work. I'm hopeless 😭😭😭

She had a TT cut, is on meds for reflux but is still so unhappy. I don't think she eve. Likes me, I love her but hate looking after her. I've failed and think someone is going to her away from me.