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Sleep

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Original poster

7 year old is naughty and wont sleep

29 replies

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 22:52

Can anyone give me any advice on how to get my 7 year old to go to sleep at nyt he has a routine everynight he goes to bed at 7.30 he is allowed to read a book or play a game until 8pm then i tell him its time for sleep now some nights he goes to sleep before 9 other nights he wont sleep at all he stays awake aslong as he can some nights he is still awake at 11pm and still wont sleep this happened few months ago the same thing just wouldnt sleep then went back to going sleep before 9pm but this last week its srarted again wont sleep wont even get in his own bed i have to lie with him every night until he falls asleep. I never get any rest from him as he is with me everyday and night. Yes he has a dad who lives with us but wont do nothing with him also a older brother who he always argues and causes trouble with. Somedays when he is naughty he kicks doors slams them throws things and stamps and screams about. Im really struggling now with what to do with him as i say i never get a break from him only when he goes to school where he is well beheaved no ptoblems at all. I was thinkin about taking him to see our gp about his behaviour and sleeping problems now

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delilahbucket · 30/10/2021 22:54

What is he doing before he goes up to bed? There shouldn't be any playing before sleep. Reading yes, perhaps you could read to him? It sounds like you are writing him off as naughty when he can't sleep. This is a slippery slope to go down.

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 22:56

When i say his dad lives with us and i say he wont do anything with him i mean my son wont do anything with his dad he thinks its got to be mum all tbe time. Dad has tried and tried to do stuff with him take him.places but he just wont go amd if he does go sometimes he is naughty for his dad.

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whereisthekey · 30/10/2021 22:57

does he have any nervousness around actually going to sleep? I was difficult as a child but i got v sacred alone in my room at night with my thoughts!

whereisthekey · 30/10/2021 22:57

scared*

Greenmarmalade · 30/10/2021 22:59

My daughter did this for years. Turns out she was extremely anxious about nighttime and sleeping alone.

Could you try a new bedtime routine with led lights, some white noise or music? Talk through what he’s worried about?

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:00

I read books to him every night before he goes to bed. I always give him a bath around 6.30pm every night then he settles down to watch story times on the tv before its time for bed maybe i should bath him abit earlier and not let him watch tv before he goes to bed i have tried this but still no change in him he lies amd listens to stories i read he yawns his head off closes his eyes as though he is going to sleep but as soon as i move he wakes again and starts to do moaning noises and crys for me to stay there.

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Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:03

He says he is scared of rhe dark which i always leave a small lamp on for him at night and when he is finally asleep i always leave his door open so much and i leave the stairs light on for him so he has light in his room all the time. I just dont no why he has gone back to been like this again like i say he was like this before then it stopped now back to this again.

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PlanDeRaccordement · 30/10/2021 23:04

I agree ask your DS why he cannot sleep and why you have to lie with him until he falls asleep. Then address any kind of anxiety or fear he may have.

If he’s just not sleepy, then I’d let him read quietly in bed until later.

On the days he can’t sleep, did he get enough physical exercise?

Snowdropsandbluebells · 30/10/2021 23:05

I have two boys this age. They are hard to settle but once I read to them .. that's it. I go.
If you stay with him that will create a habit.
I don't know what to advise though. Someone else might say you need to stay. Would go cold turkey.

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:08

He is a very active child he is non stop all day and night until i tell him its time to settle down for bath times and bed. I have spoke to him before about why he is scared to go bed alone he says he is scared of the dark which is why i leave small lamp on for him but still he wont sleep ive let him stay awake longer reading his book last night he was awake until just at 10.30 and same tonight he has just gone to sleep and he will be awake again around 6.30 to 7 am i just dont like him not getting emough sleep especially when he has to go back to school next week.

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QforCucumber · 30/10/2021 23:10

My ds is almost 6, he doesnt go to bed until half 7,asleep by 8 usually.

We sit together for that 30 mind and chat about his day at school why he might have been told off, why he may have misbehaved. Its nice to use the time to break down the day.

Does he do much physical activity? I joke that mine is like a dog, he needs 2 'walks' a day to tire him out on weekends/the holidays

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:14

He does alot of activity he loves his bike he always plays on it and like to go on rides i think he is just a very active child he is diffrent to my other lad never had anything like this with him i think thats why im finding it strange for myself im going to start tryin new bedtime routines over next few days and see which is best for him and try and keep him activie alot more threw out the day try taking him on walks instead of him riding his bike and let him run wild on the fields lol.

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WithMyEncyclopedia · 30/10/2021 23:14

When you say 'play a game' do you mean on a phone screen etc? I'd avoid tv/screens just before bed as the light messes up getting them to sleep (she says, typing on a screen at 11pm...)

Sounds a bit like my dc, who has been staying awake ridiculously late at half term, not even doing anything except lying in bed trying to get to sleep or reading.

Definitely don't lie with him until he falls asleep, that's madness! Can you tell him you're trying something different and stay and chat for 5 mins after reading then go? You will need to be consistent though.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 30/10/2021 23:16

I feel your pain, dd is like this however I also find falling asleep incredibly difficult.

Few suggestions that have helped us
Swap the lamp to something like a grolight or a colour changing bulb where you can use a blue/purple light so it doesn't stimulate like white light does

Stop the tv and playing before bed. He has a bath, reads and then sleep

Try using story cds or instrumental music. I cannot cope with the silence of night, I need the background noise to help me fall asleep

Pinkflipflop85 · 30/10/2021 23:16

Sounds very much like my ds. He is currently being assessed for adhd and we are pushing for melatonin from the GP as he just can't switch off at night. It is exhausting.

MetaIndeed · 30/10/2021 23:18

I'm not sure why you keep describing him as naughty? His behaviour is normal. He just needs tlc surely? It's probably not a good idea to watch screens right before bed.

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:19

No he doesnt play on phones/tabs in bed he is not allowed them after his bath routine. I. Going to tey and change his light like mentioned thankyou for the suggestions ill see how we go over next few night thanks everyone

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whereisthekey · 30/10/2021 23:21

ah yes story CD or audio books or something left on may help. u can switch it off when u head to bed.

Viviennemary · 30/10/2021 23:24

I think I would let him stay up till say 9 on no school the next day nights. And maybe 8 on school nights. Dont lie with him till he falls asleep. What about a recorded talking book.

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:25

Metalndeed i described him how he is with his behaviour yes he can be nayghty at times i am not describing him not goin to sleep as naughty. I came on here looking for some suggestions not to be i sulted by urself about my son. My son gets all the tlc he needs every day and night thankyou very much not that i have to explain myself to you or anyone my son is loved very much thankyou and if u read above my son doesnt watch screens before bed he watches story times an hour before his bed time. That has always been his routine and never been a problem until recently again and yes since he doesnt sleep again i have stopped the tv he now reada his school books to me.

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sleepinglionsroar · 30/10/2021 23:26

@Terminallysleepdeprived

I feel your pain, dd is like this however I also find falling asleep incredibly difficult.

Few suggestions that have helped us
Swap the lamp to something like a grolight or a colour changing bulb where you can use a blue/purple light so it doesn't stimulate like white light does

Stop the tv and playing before bed. He has a bath, reads and then sleep

Try using story cds or instrumental music. I cannot cope with the silence of night, I need the background noise to help me fall asleep

It's meant to be a red light, like sunset. You need a specific one otherwise they are still white based stimulating lights.

We have a lumie bed bug .. it dims from a red based normal light to a red nightlight for overnight.

Original poster

Kezzer23 · 30/10/2021 23:26

Vivvenemary thankyou for that im going to give this a try over the next few days as he is not back in school now until tuesday so l have a few days to try this thankyou.

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Absoluteweapon · 30/10/2021 23:30

I think your bath might be a little early - maybe switch it til 7-7.30 and wind down before. Then try and ditch all the night lights! It's crazy to expect kids to sleep when lights are on! Get him used to complete darkness by switching them off one by one. White noise can be massively helpful too.

5zeds · 30/10/2021 23:33

More sweaty exercise at 5 ish.

Marcipex · 30/10/2021 23:56

Some people like pink noise or rain etc. There are free ones on CBBC website and YouTube.
I would leave a small light but I wouldn’t lie down with him. I always say I’ll come in and look at you when you’re asleep.
It’s fine to get on with other tasks nearby. I put away laundry or something else fairly quiet so they can hear that I’m not far away.
I think it also helps if they have a full tummy. Like puppies.
I don’t think he’s naughty exactly, some people do find it harder to switch off, or need more reassurance than others.
His clinginess does sound a bit controlling though. He’s old enough for you to gently assert yourself. Say ‘I’m going to have a bath now’ or ‘I’m going to watch my programme now’. and then do it.

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