How do you deal with early wakes?

[MinnieMouse92]

Hi,

I have had one previous longggg thread regarding my little boys naps, but I just wondered how you best deal with early wakes when they happen? He sleeps ok at night, independently settles etc. His naps have gone pear shaped and I assume he is overtired hence the early wakes. I am trying to sort these naps out, but at the same time trying not to consume myself anymore than I already am in flogging a dead horse if it’s just a phase. I just wondered how you go about the day when waking early (5am). As some things I read say not to offer a nap before a certain time, but I struggle with this concept when it’s ingrained that a baby that’s been awake to long and is overtired will struggle to nap well. When he does wake early, he will babble happily in his cot for ages, and doze on and off, so to be honest I never really know when the wake window should start anyway! I just try and keep him in bed as close to 7am as possible. To be honest I am so riddled with anxiety about the whole affair that as soon as he stirs, I am awake calculating when he might need to nap etc, so am awake anyway, but I just wondered what everyone does? It’s all a bit much isn’t it all this…

How’s it going @Fancyties? We were doing ok, settled into a 6.30-7.00am awake, 9.00/9.30-11am nap, 2.00/2.30pm-until 4pm nap and an 8pm bedtime. Wake up has then started creeping forward again and this morning was awake at 4.30am, awake til 6am, I ended up having to get in his cot with him. He went back off til 7.20! I don’t know if that 2-4 nap is too late, I don’t think it should be and I need it if he’s going to get to 8pm bed but I just feel confused again. Those nap times are his limit, I can’t get the first nap any earlier, 2hrs awake just isn’t enough! Do you have any word of wisdom @FATEdestiny? Sorry

Also @FATEdestiny just want to thank you for giving the confidence with the clock change to not faff beforehand, I just went with what you suggest on other threads (I don’t stalk you I promise… ) and it went without a hitch! But I do wonder, when he sleeps in the afternoon 2.30-4.00, when he wakes it’s dark - and I get him up and he has dinner and plays etc. Would this in anyway confuse him that it’s dark and no longer “daytime”?

How old is baby ?

@jupitermars1345 He’s nearly 10months, will he 10months next week xx

@minniemouse92 we transitioned to the 2 naps as 3 weren't working anymore. We do 930 to 11 and then 230 till 4, so the same as you. Bedtime is 8pm our wake up is between 6 and 630. So funnily while wakeup isn't early as 530am it's still 630am 😂 at the latest. But she's happy in her cot 🤷🏼‍♀️

They say the way to do it is push the first nap even later say 10am till 11am and wake lo at 11am and then 230pm till 4pm 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ but as lo still adjusting to this routine above I'm a bit too nervous to do it.

Oh that’s really similar to us then! I always feel like no matter what I do it’s wrong, I can’t shake that feeling sometimes. Feel so shit sometimes and wish I could take things in my stride a bit more. He has taken a few steps the last couple of weeks, I hate always blaming a regression but not sure if that’s anything to do with it, I think I always look to blame myself when things are going a bit crap as opposed to just accepting that things to change and they do have good and bad periods!

Yep very similar - I got it off the huckleberry website as if we 234 routine she be in bed by 7pm every night waking at 430/5am for the day. I can't be dealing with that 😂 so it works for us currently.

I think every lo goes through phases. We had a phase for about a week of lo being awake an hour to 2 hours in night of sitting up laying down. Sitting up. Laying down. Practising skills 😂

Your not doing it wrong, if baby is happy and thriving 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think some babies have an easier time of sleeping and getting into a routine then others.

Hopefully fatedestiny comes up with something 🤗

@MinnieMouse92

How’s it going *@Fancyties? We were doing ok, settled into a 6.30-7.00am awake, 9.00/9.30-11am nap, 2.00/2.30pm-until 4pm nap and an 8pm bedtime. Wake up has then started creeping forward again and this morning was awake at 4.30am, awake til 6am, I ended up having to get in his cot with him. He went back off til 7.20! I don’t know if that 2-4 nap is too late, I don’t think it should be and I need it if he’s going to get to 8pm bed but I just feel confused again. Those nap times are his limit, I can’t get the first nap any earlier, 2hrs awake just isn’t enough! Do you have any word of wisdom @FATEdestiny*? Sorry

Hi MinnieMouse92.

There's nothing wrong with a 2-4pm nap, it works fine with an 8-8.30pm bedtime. Why do you feel like you want to change it?

For what it's worth I think you're doing really well and are not giving yourself enough credit for achieving that. If you're striving for perfect, worth remembering that no one is perfect, so don't beat yourself up unnecessarily.

With regards to early waking, what's important (aside from routine, which you're already on top of) is method of going to sleep, so it being independant. And also your ability to be flexible with routine to allow for catch up sleep when it's needed, after a bad night for example.

Thank you @FATEdestiny! He does go to sleep independently for all naps and bedtime and must settle himself in the night as he has usually totally changed end of cot by the morning and must have woken to get there 😂
I don’t want to change it, we’re all happy with it, I have no idea why I thought it might be a problem as it makes perfect sense to have it there. I think I just panic & worry about his overall wake time in the day as his wake windows are a bit longer than average. He barely ever cries in the night, so when he does I think I need to remember that he just needs me (hello tooth that emerged yesterday) rather than “oh shit, somethings not working, what have I done wrong”. I’ll work on it . Thank you again

Maybe drop the morning nap and just give him early lunch and straight for a nap after lunch, snack in the afternoon dinner around 6 bed for 7.30?

Thanks @bunnytheegghunter! He’s definitely not ready for one nap yet, he didn’t drop to two until about 8.5-9months and still needs both at the moment. Although it does always seem as soon as you settle them on something it all changes again 😂 x

Appreciate this is an old thread now but hoping some of the OPs might be able to share some wisdom on my 9m old current 5-5.30am waking! Was it a phase? Did changing nap timings help?

LO does sleep through mostly 7-5.30am so probably can’t complain but I have serious anxiety about the early starts, just like the OP posters. Did anything help? My LO was sleeping until 6-6.30 but now creeping earlier and earlier.

He is roughly on a 2-3-4 schedule but sometimes it’s 2-3-3.

Sometimes he’ll go back to sleep but it can take up to an hour and he is very vocal during that time! Not crying but moaning shouting for us.

please send advice 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

I'm one the originals on here. Just changed my username.

Generally we get to 630am sometimes 7am. Unless my lo is overtired then we 530am starts.

I would definitely say 7pm is too early for bed. My lo is more 8pm to 830pm. That's the only way we solved 530am starts.

9 months old We did 930am to 945am nap till 11am. 2pm to 215pm nap until 330pm to 4pm. 730pm to 8pm bed.

Any changes you make can take up to 3 weeks to reset internal clock. Making sure all blacked out all upstairs. We have pink noise continuously. Also making sure lo isn't hungry to wake up early.

Thanks @ChittyBang1987 . This AM he woke 5.14am and then went back to sleep (after 15 mins) until 6.15am. I left him in cot until 6.30am then got him up. Really he was overtired and ready for another nap by 8.15am. But I stretched this to 8.45am. Not sure how I will get to 9-9.30? Annoyingly when I look at him on the monitor at 6.15am he is still yawning but won’t go back.

We loosely follow 2-3-4 but it’s more like 2.5-3.5-3.5, so:

1st nap - 8.45-10am (1hr 15mins)
2nd nap - 1.30-3.30pm (2 hours - although can sometimes only be 1hr 15 again).

Not sure how to stretch to an 8pm bedtime. Could maybe do 7.30pm if the second nap is 2 hours.

As you did push lo later and later each 3rd day by 15 mins to prevent overtiredness. But you still might get a bit of overtiredness.

While also when lo wakes that early, do everything you can do to get them back to sleep. Stay in the dark room, cuddle to sleep. Anything that would work. I usually, and still do when lo is ill especially cuddle with her on the bed in her room with her. Works most times. Then you can go for 930am.

Might be hunger, so could always add a supper? My lo is a monster for eating and eats all day 😆 🤣

Thanks @ChittyBang1987 he has tea at 6pm then a 7oz bottle at 7pm so not sure if it’s hunger unless he’s going through a growth spurt. He was doing 11 hours overnight, roughly 7pm-6am but now seems to be creeping to 5am so not sure if it’s light/heat/teeth. We have as much blackout as possible.

I was very happy with 7-6am (anything after 6am!) and that is sleeping through too which I appreciate is good for his age. When he was waking to feed he generally slept in later which in some ways I preferred!

Yes it's very good sleep. The thing I have found from 8 or 9 months sleep needs change for them continously. My lo is changing again now.

Just remember any changes you make takes up to 3 weeks to see a difference. For my lo it's normally a few days but every lo is different.

Maybe he is going through a spurt ? Is lo eating same food as you or jars. Not judging just curious. Is he draining the bottle at 7pm? And is he starving in the morning?

Just to add are all rooms blacked out? My upstairs is like a cave upstairs as I have blacked all windows out.

Hi @ChittyBang1987 he has a mixture of pouches/homemade purees and finger foods. I don’t think he’s quite ready to eat with us as he has been slow to take to solids - he will sometimes have a variation of our dinner. He is still having a lot of milk in the day but I’m apprehensive about reducing this whilst he’s sleeping through although as he approaches 1 I will need to, if he doesn’t naturally do it.

His food/milk intake looks like this:

7am - 7oz bottle
8am breakfast - porridge/greek yog and fruit
10am - 5oz bottle
12.30pm lunch - sandwich with cream cheese/hummus, some veg sticks or some toast/cauliflower cheese
1.30pm - 7oz bottle
4.30pm - 5oz bottle
6pm dinner - pouch/purees veg/veg sticks and yog/fruit for desert
7pm - 7oz bottle

you probably think this is a lot of milk at 9m?

I will start to reduce the 10am and 4.30pm feeds first and get rid of them I suppose. He does finish his 7oz bedtime bottle and finishes his morning 7oz bottle. I hold off giving him the morning one until 7am even if he is up an hour before that. He does seem hungry for it by 7am and finishes it all.

We have blackout everywhere upstairs. He has a Bloc blind which covers his entire window and a blackout blind on top plus black tape to fill gaps but some light does still seep under his door. We’re in an old Victorian so everything is a little wonky. I could try a towel at bottom of door but light would still come around the side and top, not sure if there is a solution to this.

So I can’t think he is waking hungry at 5.15am… because he doesn’t get given his bottle until 7am and he’s not hysterical or crying for it. He literally just shouts to let us know he’s awake. But I guess maybe we could try a bottle at that early wake to encourage him back to sleep (or is this a bad idea?!). Tbh everyone warns against feeding to sleep but my LO sometimes feeds to sleep and still sleeps through.

If feeding to sleep works and doesnt cause lo to wake up expecting it at next wake up then go with it. You can change later.

Mine didn't particularly like milk and started doing 5oz like yours. After reading up. I took the decision. I think her day was like this;
730am breakfast
845am to 9am milk up to 8oz
11am some cheese blocks or baby biscotti or something similar
1230pm lunch.
145pm milk up to 8oz. Nice and full for long nap.
4pm snack. Crackers breadsticks etc.
530pm dinner
7pm to 715pm supper. Something like dry cereal, or weetabix etc
730pm then 745pm milk up to 8oz she likes her milk in 2 parts never liked it all at once.

I add supper and I know before 1 year no snacks eating but my kid was walking by 10 months. Crawling by 7 months. And extremely tall for her age. She's almost tall as a 2 year old. And she puts most of it in her own mouth.

@ChittyBang1987 I’ve never found bottle feeding to sleep a problem, in fact it was when my LO fell asleep on the bottle for his lunchtime nap that he first slept longer than 40 minutes!! Bedtime he goes down awake but drowsy after a full 7oz. He can definitely self-settle I just want to try and crack these early starts! But when you look online there are so many different and contradictory reasons behind early starts that it’s impossible to know what to do! And as you say, they are changing all the time anyway at this age so you might try something only for it all to change anyway. It feels like there is some sort of unanswerable mathematical equation for early wakes and I’m getting so anxious over it. I don’t know what to do apart from ignore him in the vain hope he drops off again, or feed him back to sleep at 5am… i don’t want to start messing around with his nap timings