How do you deal with early wakes?

[MinnieMouse92]

Hi,

I have had one previous longggg thread regarding my little boys naps, but I just wondered how you best deal with early wakes when they happen? He sleeps ok at night, independently settles etc. His naps have gone pear shaped and I assume he is overtired hence the early wakes. I am trying to sort these naps out, but at the same time trying not to consume myself anymore than I already am in flogging a dead horse if it’s just a phase. I just wondered how you go about the day when waking early (5am). As some things I read say not to offer a nap before a certain time, but I struggle with this concept when it’s ingrained that a baby that’s been awake to long and is overtired will struggle to nap well. When he does wake early, he will babble happily in his cot for ages, and doze on and off, so to be honest I never really know when the wake window should start anyway! I just try and keep him in bed as close to 7am as possible. To be honest I am so riddled with anxiety about the whole affair that as soon as he stirs, I am awake calculating when he might need to nap etc, so am awake anyway, but I just wondered what everyone does? It’s all a bit much isn’t it all this…

Ah thank you! It is so hard, I’ve made myself quite ill worrying about it all, all the time. Which then makes me feel awful as he is SUCH a good baby, we have been very lucky, so then it makes me wonder why I tie myself up in knots when he really is just so lovely and all we are trying to do is our best! To be honest, before I had a baby I thought early waking etc was all part and parcel. It’s not until you see things that tell you that 5am wake ups are “bad” and “not normal” that you then start stressing and thinking that it’s something that needs to be fixed. I feel a little bit like you’re almost conditioned to believe that these things are all wrong, and in turn that you are doing something wrong as a mum when it happens and desperately try to find ways to fix it, when actually when you look across these threads etc, it seems like it’s the norm and that actually, it’s just the way babyhood goes. Sorry, I’ve digressed, but that’s my 2p worth 😂
That’s a good idea, I’m not organised enough for that! Sounds like you have a good plan there! I’m going for the good old Fate advice and just jumping in two footed and will make all changes on the day once the clocks have changed, it will likely go tits up but we will see 😂 x

Coffee. I go to bed early though, I'm also a shift worker so it's not too bad for me. I struggled initially though, it does get easier

I really feel for you, early wakings are hard! I went through a month or so of my then 8 month old waking at 4am everyday. I've started a new routine after doing a sleep course and he now sleeps 7pm to 7am.

This worked for us:

7am - milk feed
9am - nap (1 hour tops)
10:30am - milk feed
12pm - lunch
1pm - nap (2 hours)
3pm - milk feed
5pm - dinner
6pm - bath
6:30pm - milk feed
7pm - bed

Also, in terms of the early wakings, we were told to treat them like night wakings and just settle in the room.

I hope you find something that works for you!

@minniemouse92 haha yes we all think it's not normal 🤣🤣 it's starting to kill me now 530am wake ups. Yes definitely fates way is great, I just want to try and take it easier on her as I ideally want to push it all forward 2 hours at the end. As 1 hour for clocks going back. Then 1 hour for 530am wake ups. Iygwim

@lpeach1 that's a beautiful routine. Sadly my lo needs that last 3rd nap. I tried it the other day without it and I had long middle of night waking and one overtired baby, so I'm sticking to the third nap atm. If I go into her room it's game over, and she will not settle she's wants up. She's usually pretty happy for up to an hour in her cot before me going to get her.

What did they say about the early wakings and first nap? As meant to be 2 hours later. But that means putting them down at 730am, then only get 45 min nap, no matter how hard I try to resettle.

@Fancyties I think they said if your LO needs a third nap to try the lunch time nap at 12:30pm and give them a catnap of 15/20 mins at around 4pm.
They also said if your LO won't go back to sleep to still try and settle them in the room and try and stick to first nap as near to 9am as you can. They said try and extend the nap time by 15 mins each day i.e if the nap is at 7:30am today, try 7:45am tomorrow until you can get to 9am.
I appreciate it's not always as straight forward as that but thought it was worthy sharing what worked for us (hopefully I haven't just jinxed myself )

My little one can wake anything from 5-8!! I tend to put him down for a nap a couple hours after he wakes up though when he wakes up he is awake crying. Normally can tell when he needs to sleep as he starts to get grumpy.

@lpeach1 that's what I'm trying to do atm, today was almost 830 for morning nap. Yesterday was 810am. I'm pushing whole routine forward. Did you wake your lo from morning nap? As my lo sleeps 1.5 hours in morning. Hahaha sorry to hound you but your a success story. Fingers crossed you haven't jinxed yourself

@Fancyties no problem at all! If I can help in anyway then I'm pleased with that!
When my LO was waking at 4am his morning naps were around 1.5/2 hours long. This new routine says 1 hour max so I wake him at 1 hour on the dot now and it seems to work. We have had days where he doesn't last the full hour but that's babies!

@Fancyties also, getting to 8:30am for first nap is really good I think! Today my LO couldn't last until 9am so he went down at 8:45am

Thanks @Lpeach1! Sounds like a lovely routine, well done for getting there it’s kind of the 2-3-4 isn’t it with regards to the wake windows. Mine isn’t anywhere near tired enough after 2hrs awake in the morning, I started doing just first nap at 9am if woken early, and then amended that if he’s woken later, as if I put him down before he’s ready he just doesn’t go off for ages, and then when he does we get a short nap. Some days I feel like saying bollocks to all and seeing how it plays out. Will he fall asleep in a heap on the floor? In his high chair after lunch? Who knows… 😂

@lpeach1 thank you 🤗 she may have lasted longer but it was almost 3 hours awake time at 830 and felt that was enough. As pushing her further could cause overtired mess. As 3 hours is her limit.

She's overtired today as decided to only have 45 mins at 1245 🤦🏼‍♀️ so not sure she's going to last for a later bedtime today 😔 x x

@minniemouse92 totally like to see what she would do if she stayed up over her time for nap I don't think she would do any good!! She would just stay awake and be a nightmare 😂

So I popped her for a nap at 4pm, and she's still sleeping. I'm not waking her for love nor money she be overtired, and be extremely unhappy for evening. But least I can get the later bedtime and hope she sleeps past 530am, then that's my starting point 😂 oh the joys of naps 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄

My exact dilemma to. In starting to reset bedtime from an average 8pm to 7pm to see if this helps. Will read this thread with earnest once she's in bed tonight! ❤️

@bubblingbottle I'm not sure I would change the bedtime change yet.... 🤔 Clocks go back soon... Then that be 7pm bed

My DD is just under 6 months and on 4 short naps a day so I plan to drop one of her naps when this happens x

How did late nap/late bedtime go @Fancyties? We had a brilliant nap day yesterday, good bed time… and a 5.30 wake… pretty sure he was stirring from 4.30 onwards

@minniemouse92 well we went to bed at 8pm.she slept through till 445 left her for 10mins to see if she would go back off, but she didn't and was whingy. Gave a feed took about 100mls, nappy Change and she went back to sleep until 615am, then sort of drifted on and off till I got up at 7am, so while I was awake from 5am, she did better but will take her few days I guess to adjust.oh boo to 530am.

@minniemouse92 and she's only had another 100mls for morning feed. But what can I do 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

So, lo had naps at 9am for 1.5 hours. 1.15pm ish for 1 hour 10mins and 45 mins at 445. Went to sleep at 8pm again. Whoop whoop wish me luck 🤞

Good luck @Fancyties! Hopefully the later bedtimes will starts shifting things for you soon. My little man has barely napped today, had an hour at hike this morning and 50mims in the car whilst we travelled and that’s it! Was absolutely shattered, ended up putting him to bed at 7, he went straight off in travel cot, so Christ knows where that’s going to lead us in the middle of the night/the morning! Not much point in trying to stress about it all whilst we are away though, I can’t control an awful lot when away from home and out doing things! X

Finger crossed 🤞 it works soon. today I'm going to push it later bedtime today (she could have gone sleep later last night, but I was hanging myself 🤦🏼‍♀️) she woke at 530am, and fell back to sleep at 615am. I obviously checked her nappy etc just incase people think I'm mean 😂

Howd your night go? Hopefully all that fresh air helped your lo sleep 😴

How’s it going 5am club? 😂
@Fancyties how’s your LO settling? Being away has done nothing to help the situation! He’s awake at 5.00-5.30 every morning. BUT I can’t complain, he’s sleeping so well considering, still having 1.5hr in the morning nap, and then afternoon is whatever I can get, usually pushchair or carrier and only for about 30-40mins so because of that he’s going to bed at 7 hence the early wake up, but no wake ups through the night! Probs a bit overtired but rolling with it. It’s defs helped me relax a bit and realise that I don’t need to keep chaining myself to the house and stressing that he NEEDS to sleep 3-4hrs a day (and struggling to get him to do so). It’s quite freeing being forced to be out of routine! X

Hi @minniemouse92 how funny I was going to write on here. Well I'm hoping I don't jinx it, as its only been two days. So yesterday morning woke at 6am, but did have an hour in middle of night awake, which was overtiredness.

This morning woke at 3am gave her cuddle change nappy by 330am still awake I fed her and she went back off till I had a shower at 7am(I always leave her 30mins just incase she just wanted cuddle and I think last she woke cause windy and rainy) still went for nap at 9am and I woke her at 10.02am.

I did what @lpeach1 suggested and I been waking her after the morning nap after an hour. It's heartbreaking to do as I love the 1.5 hours in morning 😂 and in evening for her catnap I let her have half hour only. Still bedtime 8pm and will keep it at this as clocks going back. She's going down a little overtired but only been doing the above 2/3 days so hoping she will adjust soon. So the maximum sleep she has in day is 3 hours. At beginning of next month I'm hoping to do 234 ish routine, or I might just cut the 3rd nap really short. I'm waffling now.

I'm so glad it's going well for you and enjoying your holiday. Sorry your still getting the 530am wake ups. Its a killer.

I brought gina ford book (don't slate me 😬😬) and the routine given by @lpeach1 is same as gina ford! And she suggests to cut morning nap and get it to 9am, and I think when they hit 9months have this nap at 930am for 30mins only.

I bet I get the 530am now 😂