Knackered knackered knackered!!

[adee1974]

DD1 is now now 10 months old and still not sleeping through the night. In some ways it could be my own fault as she is still in our room...teething hasn't been smooth sailing and she wakes up screaming her head off which somehow justifies why I prefer her with us, but DH is getting fed up now and wants 'couple' time. Does anyone have any advice? Firstly to reassure me about her going in her own room like a big girl and also any tips on helping her sleep through the night, am I going to have to do controlled crying? God I'm such a wimp!Any help and advice would be gratefully received. Thanks xxxx

Bumping for you. I'm the worst person to give advice as my 16 month old is terrible sleeper.

Hope you get some good suggestions

how many times does she wake a night adee? my ds still wakes some nights and he's 19mo. i know some dcs sleep through easily but some don't.

She'll be absolutely fine in her own room - i guess it might be a bit difficult the first few nights but reassurance should help her to settle.

We've never really done CC but do tend to leave ds depending on teh type of cry - if he's upset one of us will go in and settle him, if it's an angry cry because we've dared to leave him we tend to wait a few minutes before going in, saying night again and coming out.

Teething can be awaful i know but i'm sure it'll get better.

DS is also 10 months and a terrible sleeper. We are working with him gradually building up the skills to sleep in his own bed, and then when he seems ready, into his own room.

TBH, I don't really understand this Western European drive to get the baby in its own room. They are so small and still really need comforting and Mama's presence, so it seems a bit cruel to stick such a little person in their own room so young. Who invented this trend, anyway? It's certainly not the way the rest of the world does it. Only my opinion, though.

Thanks for your messages and help guys, its reassuring to know that there are other folks getting disturbed nites!

We put her to bed about 8pm, she then wakes up at usually 12am, 3am and 4.30am, we give her a feed at 3am. The HV said it was ok to give night feed but then I read conflicting stuff about stopping nite feeds? I'm confused!

How do you settle lo? Do you pick up or reassure with gentle pat? I'm reluctant to do CC.

She is a little treasure most of the time (altho teething has started to make her a little grouchy) the lack of sleep is starting to get me down and worried as I'm going back to work soon

Your help is much appreciated xx

PhDiva, I do agree about this need to push lo out into own rooms but my HV looked alarmed when I said she is still in our room.Also some of my mates have made me feel like a clingy mum saying I need to cut the ties. Under a bit of pressure with work looming too...

DH is getting bit frustrated if you know what I mean!

Is LO sharing with you?

Ta xx

LO co-sleeps with us and wakes about 5-6 times a night. This is because he has a cold, and is teething like nuts. I breast-feed him back to sleep, and in this way, my sleep isn't THAT disturbed, although I long for a proper sleep.

I don't think you need to cut ties with your tiny baby just yet!! (I believe 18 years old is considered more the time for that). No matter how disturbed my night is, I absolutely love how DS snuggles up to me and it gives him so much comfort, my motherly instinct is so satisfied.

As far as DH is concerned, we just grab 'moments' when DS is sleeping. The work thing seems more important, though. On some days, I am so exhausted, I can't put a proper sentence together (literally), which can be quite embarassing as I go into university and have to contribute to seminars etc... You need to work out a 'survival mode' strategy to get you enough sleep to get through the working week. Something we tried and another poster mentioned on another thread, is letting DH look after the baby at least one night a week, and you sleep with earplugs in another room. I had to add a large whiskey to the equation! Also, going to bed super early on work days, and really, getting DH to do his fair share of suffering, since you will be working too.

Since it is teething season, does Calpol not help a bit for extending the sleeping?

Have an 11 month old and I'm trying to put a stop to the night waking. It had got to the stage where he woke at midnight, 2:30 and 4:30 and I'd feed him each time to get him back to sleep as quickly as possible. Then he didn't show much interest in breakfast so it was affecting his first sleep of the day.
Anyway I decided no more night feeds a couple of weeks ago and except for a couple of nights he's woken at around 4:30 every morning (the other two were dropped after the first couple of nights). Some nights its taken 90 minutes or so for him to settle; others it's taken five. I think when he stirs at that time he feels he's had enough sleep and could almost could "go for the day" iykwim and thats why he has a protest that he's expected to go back to sleep.
I don't think teething helps tbh and some days/nights bother him more than others I'm sure. With ds1 I went through a phase where I dosed him up with Calpol practically every night to get him through. I haven't done this yet with ds2, but would if I felt it was necessary to get us all some sleep.
Anyway, I'm just gritting my teeth and hoping it passes (he was an excellent sleeper for the first few months).

Ds2 has been in his own room (well sharing with ds1) since the off btw, so no advice on that.

Thanks again PhDiva, wish I'd continued BF, stopped at 6 months when she started on solids, well done you!

You're right about the one night a week with DH, might bend his arm about nite duty.

Interestingly feel like I've been giving her Calpol every nite, the powders didn't work and dummy she spits out! Is Calpol safe giving her so much, sound neurotic now but I do worry about the long term effects, if there are any natural remedies out there that work other than powders (used the Ashton and Parsons one), would gratefully receive!

Think I'm going to take the plunge and get her in her own room,get her wrapped and doped up with Calpol too.

Never posted before btw and didn't think I'd get any responses, so very much appreciate peeps help!

Thanks again xxxxx

Welcome to Mumsnet adee

Thanks yomellamoHelly!Do you settle by picking lo up or gentle pat and shushing?

DH has said he wants to put her in own room tomorrow nite and he'll sleep beside her to help her get used to her 'independance'...I'll need a drink to cope

adee - I'm really not the one to help you but I wanted to say hello
My ds is 2 and a half and still doesn't sleep through (sorry!)
Just do WHATEVER it takes to get you all through the night
If you want to sleep in another room, then do it. If you want to start your dd in another room and bring her in part way through the night then do it. Noone else is bringing up your child but you and your dh - so they have no right to judge. Co-sleeping is great. We often do it when he is ill
We have never been into controlled crying, we have talked about it but never had the nerve to do it
Whatever works for you is the right thing to do imo
Just make sure you cosset yourself as much as possible in the day. Nap, rest, eat chocolate
Love to you and hope it gets easier soon
If it's any consolation, after this long of having no sleep I hardly bother any more - just thank goodness for make up!!

For what it's worth - putting him in his own room was a doddle

I've found picking ds2 up is the worst thing I can do because then he doesn't understand why he's not being fed so I shush pat in the cot. Depending on the type of crying I may also check his nappy and after that re-tuck him in, put his music on and shush him and leave. I then return after a few minutes. It's totally knackering but I keep saying to myself short-term pain = long-term gain. Ds1 was awful for a while and I've definitely forgotten how that felt now. (Ds1 is a fantastic little sleeper and has been for years.) With ds2 being in another room I also find it easier to tune out from it a bit too as I have some mental space from it, iykwim - he's slightly removed from me already.

You guys have been great with the advice, believe me chocolate has been a life saver!

I suppose when our lo are older and sleeping better, we'll laugh about this...won't we?

Do the Baby Whisperer stuff. I couldn't do cc as it was too hard, but dd was a nightmare waking every 2 hours and refusing to settle.

Also, if she came in with us it was like party time for her, she just got giddier and giddier, so co-sleeping wasn't an option.

BW did the trick, am a complete convert to gentle sleep traing. Dd much much happier baby, and takes much longer naps. She must have been so exhausted before, I feel guilty I didn't do it sooner