2 year old won’t go to sleep

[HackneyMum1]

My daughter has never been a brilliant sleeper. She’s had good and bad phases but mainly not too bad for the past year. She’s now 2 yrs and 3 months and has started refusing to go to sleep. Putting her down has never been an issue before. Now she screams and screams until someone sits with her. It can take hours for her to go to sleep. She still naps for around an hour a day. Sometimes she has no nap and it makes no difference. Have tried earlier bed, later bed. Nothing seems to be working. Incredibly frustrating to be losing evenings to this nonsense. Any ideas?

It does sound like she needs to drop her nap. It’s not an instant transition, it takes time for them to adapt. But after a few nights I think she would settle into a better routine again. That’s what happened with both of mine.

Or dropping to a 30 minute nap for a while before none at all

I would drop the nap and spend lots of time outside in the fresh air and plenty of exercise

What time do you put her to bed / what time is she usually asleep by?

What time is she waking in the morning?

What time is her daytime nap? (Early 2s would be early to give up napping. While not impossible, it's unlikely she won't need a nap)

Does she seem tired?

My daughter has never been a brilliant sleeper. She’s had good and bad phases but mainly not too bad for the past year.

Explain this a bit more. It could be that she is struggling to get to sleep, rather than having too much sleep.

@FATEdestiny she goes to bed between 7-7.30pm depending on when her nap ended (it varies at nursery but usually ends around 2.30pm). She used to happily sing for 20 mins or so before falling asleep.

She wakes up between 6-7.30am. If it’s been a smooth bed time and she’s napped it’s usually closer to 7 than 6.

Daytime nap usually from 1.15pm if at nursery. She has only recently started napping again at nursery after 2 solid months of refusing. We can’t do much about what time she naps at nursery although nap time is officially 12.30pm. Nap at home is between 12-1pm depending on when she woke up. Have started to cap it at an hour. She’s sleep on for over 2 hours if we let her.

We sleep trained at 7 months and had 3 months of perfect sleep. Then had some rough patches with night wakes but never any issues at bedtime until recently. Sleep was solid again from October last year until around March (when she turned 2) then she started night waking and staying awake for up to 2 hours. We get a couple of good nights each week but it’s erratic and unpredictable. Have tried no nap, shorter nap, early bedtime, loads of exercise and activity - sometimes it can all be perfectly timed but makes no difference. She has no problem going to sleep for naps at the moment, just bedtime.

Last thing - she definitely seems tired!

What happens if you make the nap finish before 12 and keep bedtime around 7? It's a longer wake time and might tire her out enough. We try this with our son and it works.

But often life gets in the way and his nap ends 1-2 ish with a 8pm bedtime which can take him a while to get him down for sometimes.
(Ds is 18m )

I know how you feel. I've got an almost 2 year old who will not go to sleep.
He's still awake downstairs now.
He's got such stamina. He really fights going to sleep.
I guess some people are just night owls. I am hoping it's just a phase and things will improve in time.

Either your lunchtime nap wants to be earlier, or bedtime later.

Expected overnight sleep at this stage averages around 12h, with the range of 10-12h all being perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. So for a wake up time of 7am, a 9pm bedtime would be perfectly reasonable. An 8pm bedtime might suit more children.

Also good sleep hygiene when on 1-nap days means having shorter time awake in the morning than the afternoon. Your daytime of, say, 6.30am-7.30pm (13h with a 1h nap) needs the nap starting at 11.30am (for 5h 7h awake windows) or 12pm. Not later than 12.30pm.

If the 1.30pm naptime with nursery is immovable, that's not a problem. You just need to make bedtime later. I wouldn't even be attempting to start bedtime until 8.30pm.

Mistake. Correction:

"Expected overnight sleep at this stage averages around 12h 11h, with the range of 10-12h all being perfectly normal and nothing to worry about."

Thanks @FATEdestiny Will try some adjustments to her routine. Bed at 8.30pm is not going to work for us as my partner and I both really need our down time in the evenings. Adjustments to nap needed probably and need to break the habit of giving in to the bedtime demands. I’m sure we would have a better time if we had boundaries in place again (ie no sitting with her until she falls asleep).