Please help with 3 year old- wakes at 5am it's killing me

[pleasehelpmesleep]

Writing this while crying my eyes out.
I love dd with all my heart but she's crippling me with these mornings.

She's never slept well ever and transitioned to a bed much better than I expected. Was waking 6am but it's now at the stage she's waking between 4.30-5.15am (for the last 6 days). Once awake she's ready for the day and will not be quiet so obviously I'm wide awake too.

I'm going to sleep about 11.30 as I lie worrying about being tired/ reduced work capability as I'm shattered but trying to manage full time job.

She's got books/ drinks but won't be quiet.
Wouldn't mind but she's also shattered.

Any tips appreciated.

Got exactly the same situation with DSS3 currently. Love him to bits but could happily chuck him in the bin when he yells at 4am that it's "morning time now!"
Anyway.
Black out blinds if you don't have them already, and maybe a grow clock so they know that if they are awake, they can occupy themselves safely in their room and not yell for you. DSS has a potty in his room also so you don't need to jump out for morning bathroom break.

You’ve probably already thought of these but...

Later bedtime / no naps
One of those stick on blackout blinds (could be the light mornings?).

Blackout blinds, GroClock, look at sleep/nap times. I’d also (if all that is done) have no problem going in, saying “No, it’s still nighttime” and trying to push it back a bit that way. They’re old enough to understand at 3.

Honestly don't waste your energy trying to fight it you won't win and it will pass. Get a tablet, hand it to her and tuck her into your bed, doze/snooze.

What time does she go to bed? Does she have a nap during the day? What time does she eat? Does she have a snack before bed?

Thank you @hulahoopqueen
Yes have black out blinds as well as black out curtains lol!
She has a grow clock and when in a cot would wait patiently. Now all I get is
'It's not yellow'
' I want it to go yellow'.

When yours wakes do you just let him play? I try to keep mine in bed and let read from 5.45am but it's not working at all.

Not sure if I need to stop trying to encourage her back to sleep but she's shattered during the day but won't nap.

I thought the baby stage was hard

for you. Been there, read the book and got the T-shirt. It’s exhausting! I can only second the black out blind and gro clock suggestions. I found they did help. Also no naps during the day. If it helps I still have an early riser at 4 years old but she stays in her room until the “suns up” (per gro clock at 7am) and entertains herself quietly...usually goes back to sleep. I’m slowly regaining my sanity!

I tried to change it and like pp didn’t win and I feel your pain. Got my reward later though. Never had to drag my two out of bed for school, even as teenagers.

Ooh sorry I missed your update. Sounds like you’ve tried my tricks! Hang in there OP...maybe get to bed earlier yourself? I was going to bed at 830 pm for a couple of years there

Set the gro clock to about 5am for a bit. Get up with her then.
Then shift the clock to 5.10. Followed by 5.20 etc. Accept that 6am might be it.
Go to bed earlier - since you are up early, you can do stuff then rather than in the evening (OK, not drink wine and watch Line of Duty!).

DS1 is allowed to read from 6, up at 7. But it has taken YEARS to get it this late. 5.30 to read, up at 6.15 was his limit for much of primary. Absolutly no screens or fun stuff - it just encourages them to wake.

BUT, from the time you have posted, you are going to get the early crowd. You need to bump, or post again, later to get the people who have succeeded in shifting wake times. Right now you are going to get the kids who wont change, or the parents who accepted it!

She's in bed for about 6.30/45pm and messes about for 5/10 but is mostly asleep by 7pm.

No naps now but the odd occasion she's fallen asleep in the car means she may not fall asleep til 8pm.
I have found the later she goes to bed doesn't make her sleep longer she just gets grumpy the next day earlier lol!

Due to my work/ nursery, she has last snack there at 3.45/4pm and dinner at home about 5/5.15pm and little fruit salad after.

I honestly feel like handing her the tablet believe me but I'm a fanny and worry about extra screen time although it would occupy her so I could snooze...

Yes she also fully understands it's bedtime and does not stop every few mins with she wants to get up/ the birds are singing. I've lost my temper and told her off (I'm not a shouter) I've tried explaining I feel like nothing is working and I'm not wanting to take my tiredness out on her which I feel I did this morning.
Telling her off/ explaining/ bribing doesn't make any difference.

God I sound awful! I'm not I just need rest.

Thanks everyone I really appreciate you replying.

Hmmm, mine have all been bad sleepers but got the youngest 2 to sleep through using Lucy Woulfe’s book. I think she would say treat any waking before 6 as a night waking, keep returning your child to her bed etc. What time does she go to bed, what’s her bedtime routine?

Working on you going to sleep earlier will probably be easier than getting her to sleep later.

Otherwise iPads. Tv. Snuggles in your bed. Whatever you need to get a bit more rest

Same here! I don't think it's easy to move completely, especially in summer, but you can shift a bit.

I try to first go in and comfort briefly ('it's night time, goodnight') then back go out until, say, 5.30. At 5.30 I then relent and let them in my bed with an audiobook to listen to while cuddling in the dark (or do it in their bed is probably better, but mine share a room so it would wake up my older ones). Octonauts are big winners here! Then we don't actually turn on lights until 6am. Gradually I'd try to shift the times forward so it's more like 6am audiobook / 6.30am lights.

My eldest was like this and I now have to wake him at 7.30 for school, it does improve!

We're having this issue. But ds now sleeps hrough which is amazing.
We try bed till 6am earliest, otty in room. And I'm buying a grow clock today

Early morning is the hardest to crack. I am pretty strict on screens but would willingly hand over the tablet then! Also, are you in the position to go to sleep at 9/10pm? Would you feel less anxious knowing you had enough time ahead of you even if she did wake at 5? You would have time in the morning for jobs etc.

Bedtime routine is good and she follows with no issues, wash, teeth, story.
Always in bed by 6.45pm.

Maybe once a week there's a meltdown at bedtime when she's very tired, things like the wrong colour socks etc

She's yawning her head off now- I worry she's not getting enough sleep.
Around 10 hours doesn't seem much for a 3 year old.

Thank you for all your input.

I had one of these , he's more of a 6 am guy now he's 7 but he just comes downstairs and puts the TV on .
At that age we had some success with a gro clock , it does take perseverance though, at least 2 weeks for the routine to sink in .
I pad in yoir bed is a good one
But in the end I went to bed early, got up with him and was very productive. I'd do my laundry and chores for the day !
You won't believe this but sometimes I miss those days , watching baby TV when it's still dark outside!

Can’t you give her YouTube on your phone for half an hour? If she lies next to you not ideal but if it’s worrying you about been tired ?

Get a gro clock

3 DC here 6 and up. I let them in my bed. Chucked them my phone and went back to sleep.

They’re all fine and exceeding in all areas!

Get yourself to bed earlier. Seriously.

Unless you drug her, you can't physically force her to sleep. All trying to ' fix' her will do is stress you out more.

Focus on what you can control which is your own sleep habits so you're well enough rested to deal with the early start.

I don't fight the mornings now, I just go to bed early and do all the things I used to do late at night early in the morning. I actually love that I can go to bed now knowing I've got that morning time to get done anything I didn't get done. I am actually much more productive, because I use to spend from 8pm to about midnight in a state of despair and anxiety being completely unproductive, and now instead I wake up with a fresh mind and can be more productive (although not always that productive sometimes I catch up on TV in the morning too 🤣) but I can prioritise better and i don't feel the same anxiety and despair a