SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK PART 8 -- Pack the bags under your eyes and join us!

[RoRoMommy]

Well...I had to think of something! DH's suggestion "Eyes wide shut--the art of sleepwalking"

x posted

DD was fabo last night. Slept through until almost 7. I was an insomniac tho work worries

Haven't heard from Beal or Amber or RoRO for a while. It has been very quiet around here.

My mum bought me a book called 'Dream Babies' It is a study of 'experts' advice on childcare through the ages. I think the point the author wants to make is that advice has varied wildly and that ultimatly we need confidence in our own abilities. I am just reaching the end of the 19th century. I have at times wanted to hand my life over to GF and say 'well go on then how would you do it?'. Routine worked well for DS1 (if a little restricting for me at times), but with 3 I can't structure the day to suit Gf or anyone elses routine. It has taken me a while to accept that and to stop fighting what I can't change.

I think that the prayer

'Grant me the serenity to accept what I can't change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference' (or something like that)

was written for parents.

x-posted too!!

for your fab little girl.

for your work worries. What's the problem?

Great words and very true.

I think there is so much pressure for us to follow a set of rules when bringing up a baby that when they don't work, because they won't for everyone, we feel like failures.

Work has been a little stressful. Working part time is a bit of a prob when you've got a full time job to do and no support!

You feeling more positive now?

I am today. Yesterday I was at rock bottom, so who knows what tommorrow will bring.

Having to work sucks!! I am quite nervous about returning because teaching is very demanding. If I could take a couple of years off I would, but then on the other hand I think it might do me good to get some time away from the DCs. I really admire RoRo with the hours she works.

Is yours a situation where you think you might have to reconsider where you work or what you do?

Hello everybody.

I used to post here as Mummymagic and then decided to stop posting. Not because she is sleeping 7-7 but because I realised she had got to her limit - and we were kind of happy with where we were.

She is 21mths now - and I am pregnant with the next one (which means we have to just do whatever blimmin' works in order for me not to throw up all over her bed - this is often sleeping in her bed ).

Wanted to share some reassurance for those who can't/won't do CC (or who feel it won't work!):

It does* get so much easier now she understands 'Mummy is going downstairs' etc. We can be a lot firmer with her since she understands.

*Her positive sleep association (which was my long-term goal) is paying off now. She LOVES bed and tells us when she is tired. She doesn't resist sleep, or hate bed and enjoys sleep time. This was important to me

• I am still bloody knackered, but it's quite nice to be able to settle her with her just being near her (eg when she had a cough and the medicine didn't really do it)

Not to knock anyone who does get desperate for CC - I have had a couple of wobbles. And tbh I know that my dd gets more stressy whereas I think some babies maybe would settle quickly. And I count my blessings that my dd has rarely been awake and crying that I can't settle.

Think we all do the best we can and are amazing for investing all we do in our children.

Wishing you the kind of sleep where you wake up and go 'oh I thought it was 5am but it's only 12.30am - yay'

Thanks Umlellala, that' really encouraging. Congrats on the pregnancy and long may the copeability last!

CM, I'm enjoying work on the whole so hope not. It's more a case of other people recognising that PT is not just me taking two days off AL a week. I'm paid 3/5. It'll take a little time. It's also the nature of the work. PR, which can be a little demanding when you've got the media afer your blood!

Must go and spend some time with DH. He's had a bad day today with the illness

It is hard Ginger. One of the FT teachers moans alot about PT staff. I have to remind her I am only paid for 2 days so can't be expected to do as much as FT person.

By the way am testing whether or not I can name change as I have just learnt how.

Hi everyone, just dropping in quickly.

CM(2) hope cc is relatively painless for you all. I know what it's like to feel you've tried absolutely everything and run out of other options. Hope tonight goes well for you

Ginger for work woes. I used to work in PR so know how tough it can be. I have got a phone conference on Monday with my HR dept as I am supposed to be returning to work in Feb, but my position no longer exists so who knows what will happen?

Umlellala congrats on the pg

EP glad nights are still going well, I would stick with the no feeding tbh, DS still occasionally wakes in the night but is very easy to settle so I'm happy with that!

CSB glad you are feeling more positive, hope tonight is a restful one.

Where is everyone? Do you all have sleeping babies now!

I can't stop and chat. I'll be back later.

hi everyone,

been sick yet again, coughing all the time. blerrrgh. sleep is up the creek. ds is waking around 1 or 3 and staying up for hours, i can't settle him. we've tried CC, but it goes on for hours and hours and we have to abandon eventually. i'm not sure what to do at the moment other than hope it magically gets better somehow.

i'm being a big stubborn and won't feed ds at night, i just offer him a cup of water. he drinks a bit but i'm pretty sure he is tantruming because he wants boob. i wonder how long before he gets the message that i'm not going to feed him at night. it's been a 3 weeks of not feeding at night since we got back from OS, and he was doing really well for a month or so last year, he actually gave up feeding at night of his own volition!

hmmm, sorry i haven't been catching up with all the posts, we are going away again on friday and just trying to get organised. hope there is some sleep being had out there! lots of love xxxxx

Amber: sounds grim . If your last holiday meant things got more unsettled, could going away again do the reverse ?

CM: I feel abit guilty about CC when I have been trying to follow AP principles but have come to the conclusion that there is no ideal plan for bringing up babies: you just go with what works. CC is working for us atm, though DS is teething again which has meant a few more unsettled nights. He's still crying when I out him in the cot, but he's volunteering to go to bed - he hauls at the door handle, takes himself through to the bedroom and points at the books he wants to read . Only problem is that he now wants me to read ALL the books rather than leave and stick him in the cot - we're working on a compromise .

Had to get another grabag (one with a zip) because he'd learned how to break out of the first one within a couple of nights (poppers on the shoulders).

Ginger: I ended up in Ch at the weekend - short notice or I would have emailed you to arrange a coffee. I was meeting a friend who had the bright idea of going to the library so DS could have a run around (it was tipping it down, so the park was out). He loved it - so much space to run around and so many books/dvds/tapes/videos to pull out and rearrange! He also met a very cute blonde girl (about 2 or 3?) who was there with her dad - he kept bringing her books and grinning sheepishly. It was so funny seeing him run around waving his arms and shouting in excitement at it all .

EP, ds loves the library too. we always go there if it's raining. there are not many toys there, but it doesn't matter, the open space and shelves of books are good enough

Poor you Amber. Sometimes I think it's more tiring to be up once but for a stretch, than up frequently but for short periods.

How does your lo go to sleep initially? I found with all of mine that that was important in affecting the rest of the night.

With DS2 we have started putting him in his cot awake and leaving him to cry. Last night he only cried for 3 mins. Then he woke at 3am, I gave him a quick feed and then he took a while to settle, but was asleep again by 4. He woke for the day at 7.

In our house that is brilliant progress.

Mind you he's been a PITA today with his naps and has probably slept for a total of 45mins-1 hour.

I think soon I need to brave not feeding him at night, I am not sure I am producing much anymore anyway.

EP: When we started cc with DS2 I reassured myself with advice from my Hungarian friend who has 4 grown up DCs. She said leave him to cry it will only take 3 nights. She did with all of hers except her first. They are lovely well adjusted adults who love their parents. Her other advice was bf until he's 6 months and then feed him whatever you're eating, and have him in the bed at first it's easier. So I think it is possible to make a way between AP and other methods. You are right it has to be what works for you.

Meant to say I haven't braved the library since I had DS2. Can't face it with more than 1 DC and then thers the whole returning the books on time thing.

there is

My bold won't work

CM - sounds like progress indeed.

ds is ok at settling himself in the evening most nights. he yells when i leave the room but is generally asleep within 5 mins or so. occassionally if he's really tired, he falls asleep feeding, but either way seems to make no difference to the nighttime wakings/length etc.

ah well.

Hello all, nightmare of a night last night. Think it is the 4th molar. Grizzly and really hard work today and I've got PMT so mood swings galore in this house.

Hi Amber, sorry you've got it so tough at the moment.

EP, Meg and CM for all your progress glad it's working. We have stories and cuddles and rarely does it take more than 15 mins of that for her to fall asleep. Night before last she slept solid until nearly 5 and on her own so I know she can do it when she wants to.

EP, shame I didn't know you were in C'ford else I'd have joined you in the library. It's such a struggle to keep DD entertained in such rotten weather but the library here is a really good one. DD also loves chucking the DVD's all over the floor Wonder if I've seen your friend around at the library or baby group.

Where is Beal? I am a little worried about her, she was having such a rotten time.

Hi all

Ginger, we have got all four front top teeth coming through at once, so I?m with you on the teething front ? DS has been grizzly and clingy on and off for the last week or two. Luckily it?s not impacting on his sleep too much, thanks to the magic of Calpol.

Amber, sounds like a yucky phase you are going through. Hope it passes soon. DS loves the library too, he just stares at any other babies.

EP and CM, yay for your continued success, you deserve it.

Having a bit of a celebration tonight as I?ve just found out I will be getting made redundant, means I don?t have to make the decision of going back to work or not, and get a few bob in the bank too. I?m spending some of the money on driving lessons, starting next week, so you may wish to avoid the roads of Enfield for a while?

Have not heard from Beal either, does anyone have her email address?

Great news Meg . Well done on the driving lessons - I still can't drive and am petrified at the thought of getting behing the wheel.

CM: that is a huge progress . DS is still waking breifly in the early hours, but he didn;t stor at all when DH and I went to bed last night. He's waking consistently at about 6:30, which is a bit early on my days off but fine when I'm working as I try and get up for 7.

Ginger: sounds like a good night for you as well . DS also teething, probably his top canines as the bottom ones have come through. I'll let you know next time I'm in CH - friend is a primary teacher without kids so you prob won't know her yet.

We also gave DS an impromtu haircut as he was looking like Shirley Temple - the people downstairs must have thought we were torturing him .

yay meg, that is good news. hope they pay you out nicely. and great for the driving lessons. actually i'm so glad i learned at 16 as i don't know if i'd have the nerve to do it now!

good for you getting sleep EP. and i can't imagine giving ds a haircut. luckily he doesn't have excessive amounts of hair yet (except for the bits behind his ears). he's walking now since the weekend. so cute. he's very proud of himself stumbling around.

Well done Amber's DS . D'you think it was learning to walk that has unsettled him? You have a good chance of him tiring himself out during the day now. I found it much easier once DS was walking as we could go out to the park and he could get some exercise without getting covered in mud (well, not much).

The haircut was a major operation - I held DS while DH snipped off the curls . They grow back quick tho and he can now see out