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Sleep

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Original poster

I dont agree with controlled crying....but (and a bit BUT)

15 replies

Julezboo · 14/11/2007 19:55

My 10 month old has got me exhausted day and night he was just crying and refusing to sleep unless in my arms, Im only skinny and hes a whopping 22lbs already, soo DH said give it a go, first time tonight, we checked him after 5 mins, then 10 mins, then 15 mins, 5 minutes into the 20 mins of leaving him he fell asleep!! I cant believe it!!!

Now I know it doesnt work for everyone, tried it with my first and he just cried till he threw up but its worked and my arms are free!!

Got to go through the night though

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LadyOfWaffle · 14/11/2007 19:57

I am the same, but sometimes DS (19 months) has to be left to cry a little bit, otherwise he gets up, screams because he is so tired and we carry on all night and it's not fair on him. I think 10 months is alot different from leaving a newborn or something.

scattyspice · 14/11/2007 19:58

You do what you have to do julez. If it works then everyone will be happier.

We tried everything.

moondog · 14/11/2007 20:07

I think older babies can be left to cry it out sometimes.
It's only weird and sick with little tiny ones.

colditz · 14/11/2007 20:10

My 19 month old has to be left sometimes. He really does know how to push my buttons, and only starts wailing when he hears me walking around on the laminate. And it's angry wailing too.

They get to an age, could be 10 months, could be 20, when their crying is not quite so much distress as it is fury, IMHO

Original poster

Julezboo · 14/11/2007 20:52

thanks all, i felt cruel for doing it, but he wasnt napping in the day and getting up 4/5 times a night... i guess the crying was better than me oing mad

OP posts:

moljam · 14/11/2007 20:58

we did it 5 mins,10 mins but i couldnt do much more.it worked amazingly well!i'll find link to diary i kept on here.it became more about understanding his cries more than anything-i realised he wasnt always crying,it was more moaning.when he cried and needed me i went in.it was about listening for us.

moljam · 14/11/2007 21:04

hereslink
im sure there was another one but cant find it

Original poster

Julezboo · 15/11/2007 10:21

thanks moljam, last night was awful, he got up at 2 an it went on for an hour and a half and then again at 4!!

Do I do it at nap times too?

OP posts:

moljam · 15/11/2007 11:13

i didnt really do naps but shortened it to an hour instead of 2.he was always ok at naps.i found during this time he tried not to nap a couple of days and i decided if he didnt nap before 1 then no nap,he then started napping again and waking exactly hour later.
whats his night routine?and does he have nap routine/signal to say it nearly nap time?

bookthief · 15/11/2007 11:23

julez - we did the same with ds when he was 11 months.

He was asleep on the first night after 20 minutes and now, a few weeks on will almost always go to sleep on his own with hardly a grumble.

I felt awful, I'd said I'd never do it, but I think him being older made such a huge difference. He actually settled himself in pretty much exactly the same length of time as it would take him when we were doing shush-pat which had been our previous method of getting him to sleep in his cot. Looking back, I think he was just ready to start self-settling and us patting his back was almost a distraction to that.

moljam · 15/11/2007 11:29

funnily enough i didnt feel to bad as i only did what i felt suited us,as i said it was about understanding his cries.

Original poster

Julezboo · 15/11/2007 12:43

he doesnt really have a nap routine, just the odd 20 mins here and there. I did it at nap time this morning at 10am, he fell asleep in five minutes and slept for an hour and a half, its made a huge difference in his mood, hes such a happy baby today, just had a ham sandwich for dinner followed by a yogurt now hes having his milk, no fuss, he ate it, not cried once

OP posts:

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/11/2007 12:59

Controlled crying isn't cruel.. that't a myth socially constructed on Mumsnet. There are a few of them! Sure, people may prefer not to use it and that's fine, but it isn't cruel. It's a fair and firm way of teaching a child that night time is for sleeping, when this ability has not come naturally to him.

And it works for the majority of children whose mothers are not too wet to give it a go.

The key word is "controlled".. it's not about leaving a child to cry themselves sick at all. Cruely doesn't come unto it.

I do get tired of seeing it labelled as "cruel" on Mumsnet.

cheritongirl · 16/11/2007 09:41

did any of you doing CC have a LO using a dummy? My ds is one now and he used to be a great sleeper but is terrible now and killing us! we are thinking it might be time to ditch the dummy and do a bt of CC, as painful as it may be.. any advice welcome! ta

moljam · 16/11/2007 11:04

ds didnt have dummy but was going to sleep with bottle in mouth and waking for it so same thing i suppose.i just explained(although he didnt know what i was on about!)that no more bottles in bed.so after his bath etc we sit and have story and he has 3 0z milk then but then i take it out room with me.it was hard,i had to leave them dirty downstairs so i wasnt tempted to come and get one in night!lol.some nights he doesnt want any but choice is there before bed not during night.

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