Dwaling with 2 under 2 at night. Help!

[Reabamum]

I have a newborn and a 21 month old DD. My DD used to sleep through the night in her own room, but a few months before the baby came she started waking up in the night most nights and would only settle back to sleep in our bed. Her night wakings are often coinciding with my newborn's and I can't see to them both at once. I am breastfeeding so only I can feed the newborn and my toddler will only accept mummy at night. This results in me putting an hour of cartoons on for my DD in the middle of the night while I see to her brother. This is a really awful solution, but I don't know what else to do.

I take the newborn into the next room for feeds to reduce the chance of him waking her up, but if she wakes up and notices that she has been left alone, she gets very upset and takes ages to settle back to sleep.

I dont know what to do about this. Any advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation?

Thanks!

I had two under one (11 months’ difference). We put a travel cot in our room for the big one and had the little one in our bed. But we had consciously swapped a lot of duties with the big one so that she didn’t fixate on one of us. I think you need to look for ways of making the toddler comfortable with the other parent.

One child each basically

Thanks everyone. I have taken your advice and moved my older child into a room with her dad. Fingers crossed that her sleep improved soon!

For the first 4 months of DS's life DH slept in DD's room. She also only wanted me but him actually sleeping in there made all the difference and she would sleep better with him in there.