DS 2 months old.. I’m so tired any advice??

[Mummybunny2000]

My DS is 2 months old, I’m 20 single mum. I’m BF so it’s just me who does the feeds and I didn’t like FF( no judgement just my personal experience). After feeds he will fall asleep in my arms but it’s almost impossible for me to put him down. Any movement from my arms and he’s then wide awake.. won’t go back to sleep unless fed again and repeat. If he does go down it only lasts 10 mins or so, and makes it impossible for me to get things done. Night times.. I give a bottle of expressed milk which was filling him and sleeping from 12-6 then BF then sleep till 8/9. This lasted a week, now I find myself feeding him to sleep then falling asleep with him because he wakes if put down. Tried safe co sleeping but I end up freezing cold and dead arm or leg. This isn’t a moan it’s just a genuine ask of how I can get him to go down for naps and any advice for nighttime? I love the constant cuddles but need some breaks too and comfortable sleep to keep being a good mummy during the day. Advice or experience welcome !! (I’ve tried putting him down but after 10 mins wakes and unsettled or wants feeding which in the night can sometimes get an hour sleep then repeat. Can’t let him cry through the night as I won’t sleep anywhere and doesn’t seem fair on him being so little)

It's so tough, especially when you are doing it on your own. I used to lie on my side and feed mine to sleep. Once they fell asleep I could shuffle away from them to sleep myself or get up and do something. Sometimes a sling can be good for a nap. Even better if you have someone else willing to wear the sling!

@BendingSpoons thank you! Never thought to do the side lying feed during the day, could work for him will try it. Just grabbed his sling also as never thought to put him in asleep! Thanks for the help x

It will get better, hand hold for you. The first few months are exhausting! Your doing so well already and he sounds very content bless. I had to make the transition to a Moses basket and it did take a few days and I felt a bit guilty and cried ( hormones aye! ) but honestly being able to do simple
Things like clean myself without rushing, food etc made all the difference to energy levels.
I'm due my second this year and I've got a next to me crib! One thing I really wish I had the first time around. Means you can sleep better and breast feed easily and he may get more used to be separate from you as he can still smell and see you x

@halfwaythrough2 thank you! It’s lovely, but hard as you know. It is, definitely! Did you put LO in Moses basket awake and settled themselves? Good luck for second DC very exciting! Thank you I’ll have a look at that crib too then. Hope it works for you. He’s got a Moses basket, cot and sleepyhead but somehow ends up with me x

I don't know about halfwaythrough but I never managed to put mine down awake for months! Self settling is developmental and most babies can't do it for a while. I did get better at transferring them from my arms to the moses basket with my hand on their chest for a minute to settle them. I would then slowly lift my hand off.

I know some people have success with a bouncer, where you can bounce it with your foot a bit once you put them down to try and keep them asleep.

It can also help if the Moses basket is warm and has something that smells of you in it.
I used to slide the baby into the Moses basket when swaddled. Then I would pick up the basket and gently rock it. That worked sometimes.
The sling, side by side feeding and white noise are worth trying. All babies are different and it sounds like you are doing brilliantly.

Have you tried swaddling? Our first few weeks sounded much like this (co-slept) and swaddling was what enabled us to finally get her sleeping in the Moses basket, though in our case we had to move on to sleeping bags at 8 weeks as the process of being swaddled started to wind her up too much.

She was also a feed to sleep baby but I didn't feed her while swaddled, so the sequence was feed until asleep, put her in the swaddle as quietly as possible for minimum disturbance, then walk up and down and shhhh to get her back to sleep. We used those velcro swaddle blankets - much easier than faffing with a muslin. She's 4.5 months and I still haven't tried putting her down awake - too chicken to try it! NB. Not recommended to swaddle while co-sleeping IIRC, so this is just to try and get more sleep if you're putting them down

@BendingSpoons I will try hand on chest and bouncer. Thank you!

@NellietheNumpty thank you so much!! I will be trying all of those things tonight also

@Etherealhedgehog he did like being swaddled as a tiny baby. I will give that a go, as he’s still too small for the sleeping bag! I don’t blame you with not trying to put LO down asleep haha. Perfect thank you will give it a go!

Or try going out for a walk, walk them to sleep, as soon as they drop off rush back, if you can then get home you could grab half an hour on the sofa before they wake up? It is so very hard. Prioritise your own sleep over any housework. Could a friend drop off a cooked dinner for you? Ask for help if you can - this is the toughest bit.

Also, if you want a sleeping bag suitable before they hit 10 lbs, Tommee Tippee do a 0-4 month one with much smaller minimum weight than most. We're only just out of that as DD is titchy. Though the swaddle was definitely better for reducing waking in the early days in our experience

We had a bouncer chair that had a vibration setting. I’d feed DS to sleep and then put him down in that and he’d stay asleep much longer than in the cot (sometimes 2hrs ). We only used it for daytime naps as they should always be supervised but at least you could rest on the sofa or grab some food. I also rocked him back and forth in the pram in the living room which sometimes worked.

You sound like you’re doing amazing though. It does get easier and you’ll work out other ways to settle your baby over time.

@Sugarandteaandmum Love that idea! Usually once I’m back I’m thinking of what to get done but you’re right.. sleep is more important!! My mums great for the cooking etc which is very helpful. Thank you x

@Etherealhedgehog Thank you!! I’ll have a look at both. Aww bless, what did she weigh? DS was 5lb13 and 5 days overdue x

@swissrollisntswiss thank you so much for the kind words. And the ideas. Sounds good for the daytime naps too, will try the feed to sleep and in the bouncer x

@Mummybunny2000 aw wow, bless her! Not quite that titchy - she was 7lb 3 at birth but we struggled with feeding and slow weight gain at first and she's been tracking the 9th percentile pretty consistently since 4 weeks. She was the first baby to be born from my antenatal class group and all the others have long since outgrown her! Clothes last for ages though!

@Etherealhedgehog Aww, it can be so difficult. Oh how funny, still can’t believe some babies are born at 9 pound + !! You’re right about the clothes as DS is still in some newborn . Good to know she’s following the same pattern x

I second the next2me, effectively its an extension of your own bed but gives your LO a chance to be super close and still stay safe whilst you're warm. Feeding whilst your lying down is also a must!

During the day we used a swing or used a baby wrap. Also make sure you grab a day time nap!

We had a euan the dream sheep for our DTs. That sheep was worth its weight in gold, and settled both of them quite quickly on the whole. 8 weeks was the point I was quite surprised I’d not died from lack of sleep though!

Oh, and a rocker chair that was automated was brilliant if they (for whatever reason) didn’t sleep - I could collapse on the sofa and they’d be safe and gently rocked with the sheep lullaby or heartbeat tune playing in the background.

@MuchTooTired @LifeIsBusy thank you both for the advice. He has a Ewan and it is really good for if he stirs. ! Which rocker chair/swings did you use ? Going to look at the next to me and definitely day naps are a must X

I had an ingenuity baby swing which I got off fb marketplace as I wasn't entirely sure if he would like it or not.

@Mummybunny2000
How was last night?

@LifeIsBusy thank you!!

@NellietheNumpty we fed side by side, was a lot comfier and got some more sleep. Today I’ve had him in the sling doing a few things and then once asleep put him down. So hasn’t been too bad. I’m thinking next nap swaddle and into Moses basket. Thank you x

Well done, sounds like a good night and day. Fingers crossed for a decent night tonight.

You sound like an amazing mum

@BendingSpoons @AntiHop thank you both so much!