5mo can settle but not resettle- help pls!!

[Viola1256]

My 5mo daughter goes into her cot completely awake for naps and bedtime and self settles to sleep usually within 10 mins but continues to wake at 45 mins for naps, and every 2/3 hours overnight and cannot resettle herself. I am knackered. In the day I have tried to shh pat, rock til drowsy, leave for 5 mins to see if she goes back herself, wake to sleep. All just seem to wake her up more or end up with a sleeping baby on me.

At night she is often fed as her crying escalates quickly. I think she does need some of these feeds but not all.

Everything seems to suggest the golden key to good sleep is self settling which she does. What else can I do to help her (and us!) get more consolidated stretches of sleep?!

I think it’s developmental. My LO is 10 months and can’t self settle at all but started sleeping through at about 6 months 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had wondered that. She just seems tired all day and wakes up upset. I'm wondering if it's also that we just aren't in the right routine?! But hard to get into a rhythm with one with short naps and unpredictable wake up times.

Days are very roughly either:

7am wake
9ish nap 1 - let her wake naturally, usually 30-40 mins
12ish nap 2 - she will wake after 40 mins. Try to resettle and often ends up asleep on me. Can then continue for 2 hours on me.
4ish nap 3 - sling or pram - 40 mins
7pm bed

OR roughly

6ish wake
8ish nap 1
11 ish nap 2
2ish pm nap 3
4.30 nap 4
7pm bed

Each nap being 40 mins or so and 75% in cot.

Am I just overthinking it all?! Lockdowns might have done that to me

It’s so hard not to obsess a bit when it’s all you have to think about but looking back, I wish I’d relaxed and trusted my instincts a bit more.

At that age, the huckleberry app was magic for me. It gives you a sweet spot for naps depending on the data you enter. Every baby is so different! I tied myself in knots trying to get my baby into the ‘little ones’ sleep programme that my friends followed but it just never worked for us. We are only just on timed naps at 10 months and that is shifting now as they change so quickly!

One thing I was told by a fairly hardcore sleep coach (who we didn’t end up working with in the end) was not to worry too much about the length or place of naps until they are 6 months or so as they will slot into place. I’d spent so long on all the techniques to try to lengthen them but it just happened naturally in the end.

Just a quickie to say that my 5mo is the exact same as yours. Self settles for naps and bedtime but wakes after 30-45 minutes each nap and wakes overnight and needs intervention (normally being given the dummy back 🤦🏼‍♀️) to settle back down.

This is DD2 though and I remember DD1 was the exact same. I’d look at all these sleep programmes and schedules on various websites and never could achieve anything near what was “recommended” for a 5mo as her wake windows were so short because of her short naps. If id tried to eek her out to achieve the schedules, she’d just be an overtired mess.

So anyway, we’re still on 4 short naps a day and yes it’s hell and I hate it too but I defo agree with a PP who said it’s developmental. Doubt anything we could do would have that much of an impact. DD1 randomly started extending her naps to 1hr+ at around 9-10 months, if I remember rightly. For now, let’s just be grateful they’re such champion self-settlers! Simple bedtimes when you’re a tired shell of a woman from the day and just want to get in your PJs and crash yourself are a godsend!