10 month old nap advice please!

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My 10 month old DS has started to get really fussy with naps. I mean, to be fair, his naps gave always been pretty awful, but currently more difficult than ever.

Currently DS goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:30pm, depending on when his last nap ended. He'll then sleep through until around 3:30 am, when he'll wake, and be awake for between 1 and 2 hours. This has gone on for about 6 weeks now. Its not usually possible to resettle him in the cot, so I often end up bringing him into bed with me. He'll then sleep until around 7:30 - 8am.

Why am I telling you all this when I am actually asking about naps? Well. As he is now waking up pretty late in the morning (prior to the split night pattern he would wake for the day between 6 and 7 am), his morning nap is pushed later and later. He often won't be asleep until 11:30. He's never really napped for longer than 45 mins, except the odd occasion, so he's then waking around 12:15. This means he's not ready for a second nap until around 3:15 ish. On top of all of this it is SO HARD to settle him for a nap. No drama or crying, he'll just lay there half asleep, the gradually start wriggling, until he's fully awake again. This can easily take an hour or more.

So, my question is, what do you think I'm doing wrong? Is he telling me he's ready for one nap a day? Am I putting him down too early? Too late?

Im not confident he'd nap longer than 45 mins even on one nap per day - when he dropped from 3 to 2 the nap lengths didn't change.

Any suggestions? Is my rough schedule for his naps totally off?

Sorry this has been long winded!

I know this is such a cliche question but.... how does he go to sleep at bedtime and for naps? Is he putting himself to sleep or being rocked/fed etc.

We had exactly the same nap issue at around 10 months (although he wasn't waking in the night).

We made sure he was awake for the day by 6.30. In bed for morning nap at 9.45 latest and then woke him up after half an hour. If the nap was later than this, or went on for longer, the second nap was a bust! We then did second nap around 2ish and he would sleep for 1.5-2 hours.

But my DS defo needed sleep. His eyes were glazed over and red by 10am. If yours isn't showing signs of tiredness then it may be he only needs one nap-although this isn't usually until 15 months ish I think.

BTW, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Naps are like Pandora's box and just when you think you've got them sussed, something else changes!

Not a cliche at all, its a valid question! He goes down fully awake and settles himself, although I stay with him and sometimes hold his hand or stroke his face a bit.

I had thought about maybe waking him up for the day earlier, but the split night is such a killer that I really don't fancy getting up any earlier! If we could get past the split night that might help.

That sounds great that he's self soothing. I wonder if perhaps waking him up for the day earlier (albeit painful!) and 2 good naps might stop his night wakings?
Or you could try one nap? Is he seeming very tired in the day and like he still needs two?

It defo feels like tackling the night wake will get you back on track. We had a very small bout of this and did the whole go in, soothe, put back down leave, wait... go in soothe etc etc. And offered water in case. We found when we started bringing him into bed that he sort of looked forward to and expected it and so tried furiously not to. But I understand that doesn't always work with day to day life and being able to function properly!!

Hi! My little one did this too and it was that last nap that sorted it out. I didn’t let her sleep past 3pm and the split nights stopped. It might be a few days of you waking early (which is awful I know) to make sure his two naps are before a certain time. X

I would aim to start the day at 7.15am regardless of how the night went. Offer his first nap about 9/9.30 for a maximum of 45 minutes. Lunch at 12.30 and down for a nap at 1 which would ideally be a longer nap but no later than 3.15. These were the timings recommended by a sleep consultant and they worked!

Thank you everyone! Could I also ask, if after, let's say, 30 minutes of trying to settle him, should I give up and bring him downstairs for a bit?

My friend who used a sleep consultant was told if after 45 mins it's not worked, scoop them up and take them to a different environment to calm down....whatever works for your baby! But only for 15 mins and then try again.

But posters above have also made some great suggestions that may stop might wakings too.

I'd suggest following those nap schedules for a few days of up at 6.30/7. First nap just 30 mins and around 9.30ish. Then second nap 1.30/2ish but wake at 3.30 latest.

Hopefully that second nap might end up being longer than the usual 30:40 mins!

OK, so I've had some success today! Morning nap was rubbish as ever, took an hour to fall asleep, so not asleep until 11, then slept for 40 minutes. But! I put him down again at 2 today, even though he didnt look tired, and he was asleep by half past! Still only slept for 40 mins, but swings and roundabouts!