DD is 22 months & still wakes 2-3 times a night, it's killing me, HELP

[SpookyDooooo]

I am at my wits end i have tried so many things but dd just keeps waking up through the night so far i have done these -

Kept her awake all day, no nap to see if this would work, she woke 3 times that night.

Put her to bed later than her usual 6.30pm bed time, she still wakes.

Ignored her, she then becomes destructive, takes of her pj's & throws her nappy onto the floor, sits the naked.

No bottle given when woken up, a bottle with water no milk.

Sleeping bag thing in case she is cold, worked for 2 nights has not worked since.

Always leave hall light on as she is scared of the dark, once we worked this out she actually started sleeping through the night for about a week, after that back to old ways even know light still on.

Kept her in a very strict routine, still wakes.

When she has woken at about 11pm taken her out of bed to sit with us for 30 mins to an hr, she still got up.

Tried Medised, horlicks all sorts.

It is killing me i find her the most demanding child ever, i get up 3 times every night mostly sometimes twice, then she is up again at 6am shouting & bellowing from her cot, she is loud, screams, shouts & seems frustrated.

What the hell can i do i am exhausted & would love a whole nights sleep with no getting up, dp did it last night but there is just no point, he does not hear her so i wake & nudge him but then i am awake anyway, she got up twice for him last night.

I really am at the end of my tether, i feel like giving up & running away

When my DS was much younger, he would wake for a bottle of water in the night just as much as milk. Now we never offer him water unless he is having a coughing fit (he seems to have a lot of them), and even then we still leave him coughing unless he sounds really bad as he gets used to us going in within a night or two of it happening.

My DH rarely gets up in the night, have tried to tell him he will have to help when we have three DCs, but he says "but I have to go to work each day"... aherm.

DS's grobag is one that has poppers at the shoulders and a zip down the side, with the zip finishing right at the bottom and out of his reach, it wouldn't be impossible for him to get out but he certainly hasn't figured it out yet. He can walk whilst still in it tho .

Really really hope she calms down soon and you get some sleep. Lack of sleep is most torturous thing in the world.

Did not see your mum's comment. Not sure what she means by that either...

Oh, does your DD still have a nap in the day? Does she sleep well then? Just curious to know if it is only night time that she has problems with.

Thanks, she is standing here screaming now because she is fighting with ds.

Yes she still naps in the day, she goes down fine has about1-1.5 hrs wakes up in a much better mood.

She has a sleeping bag from mothercare which has a zip all around the outside which ends at the bottom & has poppers on the shoulders, she knows how to get out of it & is always out of it so am going to invest in a new one which i can put on back to front so she cant undo it.

Not sure what my mum thinks, she is 60 & has probably forgotten the days of when we were young, even know she did say my brother was a nightmare.

I think the terrible twos has come early for us & i am hopinhg we can make it through without a broken family because this is truly horrendous.

Thanks for the support.

Poor you. That sounds so tough. Have DS (22 months) who was pretty hard work in a similar way til a bit back - hasn't/ hadn't figured out how to take his clothes off yet though which is good (well, apart from his nappy!) and means he didn't have your DD's problem at least... Went through all the same as you (light on/ off, door shut/ open/ bit open, grobag on/ off, room hot/ cold).

I hate to say this, but cranial osteopathy aside (not tried it so don't know whether it works or not) I suspect the only thing for it might be to hold a tough course of action for a couple of weeks. Not controlled crying (DW couldn't bear DS crying either) but something along the lines of the gradual withdrawal method.

I tend to think any approach needs at least a couple of weeks to make it work so everyone can get into the rhythmn. From our side, what we basically did was one of us went into the room after he'd cried for a bit then just sat with him whilst he screamed/ wailed/ wept/ "mummmiiiiiiieeddd"/ "dadddddiiiiiied" etc. until he went back to sleep. Held his hand (if he let us), rested a hand against him, stroked his head, but mainly just made sure he knew he wasn't by himself. Then crept out again. It did take a couple of weeks but he's been fine since (though still wakes a bit earlier than we'd like).

Sounds like it's a bit hard for you, what with having the neighbours and DS as well. Could you try having DS in your room whilst you do it? Maybe a mattress on the floor for him? And even if DP is working, how about arranging it so he does at least one night (maybe two at the weekends) so you can get some sleep as best you can. Not sure what to suggest about the neighbours other than buying them a bottle a wine and apologising in advance (then maybe a couple more at the end!)

Just a thought. Not very helpful probably but good luck with it

I think you should instate a mattress next to her cot - if she settles quietly and quickly with one of you there I wouuld then move the mattress a little bit further away each night and use it as a gradual withdrawl method. At least when you are horizontal you get back to sleep quicker.

agree with cargirl - mattress on the floor for a few weeks may be the only way to get her settled again.

I agree i think the matress on the floor is going to have to be the way & moving it further & further away, now do we start off on the matress in her room or do we just go onto the matress when she wakes in the night? & then stay there?

cestlavie - thanks for your post it is good to read what other methods have worked for other people so i can try them maybe in the long run, dd is a very very strong willed girl so i know it is going to be hard to break this but i have to do this for all of our sakes.

Unfortunaly life is going to be crap while i do this, non existant as i will be totally knackered but if thats how i have to live to have a better time in the future then so be it.

if she will go to sleep happily on her own then I would just go in there during the night when she first wakes. Make sure you don't interact with her apart from the night night or sush sush or whatever you've decided to use.

When DS reached his peak of nightmare sleeping (about 6 months), I would end up in a sleeping bag on his floor, so that while he screamed I just periodically said "sleep baby Egg", so he knew i was there, but I didn't touch him or pick him up. It really seemed to help. Am already planning a campbed in twins room .

Spoookydoooo, really thinking of you.

My dd is also very strong willed and determined, which it is why it has taken us 2 weeks instead of 3 days.

Unfortunately the only way over it is to do it

Best of luck xxxx lots of sympathy xxx

Egg perhaps you should be cruel & heartless and look at GF book for a few ideas???? I think getting some sleep will be key to their your survival.

Hehe, I have already been given TWO copies of the GF twin book. To be honest these little ones will be a lot less spoilt than my DS, and they will be going into their cots awake every time, I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN!

Spooky, good luck for tonight, let us know how you get on.

Egg - honest I "taught" my 3.5 day old that it was okay to lie in her cot awake when she was tired as I realised if she was being cuddled she just went back to sleep and didn't even bother having a feed!!!!!!!! The plus side of her only being 3.5 dayys old was that she was okay about it within 24 hours. So much easier when you've practiced on 3 others first.............

To be honest I will have so much less time to pander to their every need that I am praying they learn to sleep better than DS ever did [hopeful emoticon].

Just found out that the three maltesers I just gave DS as a little treat have six e-numbers in. Six . Don't imagine he will sleep well tonight...

Well she went down at 7.20pm so have managed to keep her up a bit later, she went down with no bottle & no dummy, i gave her a cup of orange juice before bed sitting in her high chair, then we sat on the sofa & read a book, ds's school book actually so conkered to things at once

she was asleep within 10 mins tiny cry when i first put her in but i left her & she went within 10.

No problem there then, now i have a long night to look forward to or should i say not look forward too arrrghhhh.

will let you know how it goes tonight.

Oh egg 2 at once i think you need a good routine there, do you know if they are boy's or girl's or one of each or are you having a big surprize?

My mums sister (my aunt) had twin girls they are now 23 years old, she also had a boy after them who is 21 years old, she must have been mad! she said she had her work cut out but she got through it & her kids are lovely now.

I will however never forget when she came to visit once & she used to lock herself in the bathroom as she was stressed & all 3 children would be standing outside the door screaming for her & crying, she would emerge about an hr later

Just a quick message she slept through till 5.45am i then went in said shh couple of times & rubbed her head, walked out & she stayed there awake till 6.10am.

I was asleep last night by 9.30pm i was shattered, now not sure if her sleeping through is a one off like sometimes happens or if this could be something.

Going to back track on what was different last night to any other night.

2 things spring to mind, she went to bed 50 minutes later that usual, she also did not see a bottle since 12 in the afternoon.

Feel alot better this morning just for one decent nights sleep, good job as i have washing to do, need to go to town & clean the whole house, should be interesting, will see how dd's mood is today, she is happy jumping up & down at the moment

Ahh really pleased you had a good night. Strangely identical to DS, who went to bed at 7:20 (normally a bit earlier) and woke at 5:45 also. He is not used to this new time change as normally sleeps til 7, so was not pleased, but I didn't actually go in and see him until nearly an hour later as he was just singing.

Yes there are loads of mums on the multiples thread who have gone on to have more children after twins (some even after triplets) so they can't be that bad [hopeful emoticon].

Fingers crossed tonight goes the same for you as last night .

Good for you, its amazing how much better you feel after a decent nights sleep. DD slept from 7.15PM until 5, i relented (how weak am I??) and gave her some milk because 5 was too early to get up and she went back off until 7. Lets keep our fingers crossed for tonight!

That's great, life is so much better after a goodnights sleep.

I was a desperate as you with dd, just in a zone beyond exhaustion.

However last 3 nights she has been really good due to sleep training, after 6 months of hell.

They are little tyrants aren't they?

See if only dd would sleep through everynight life would be so much better, i feel i cope better, don't shout, not moody, have energy & get on with routine it is much much better.

We went to town this morning to buy ds a coat as he is at school, she was really really good, she has been alot happier, she has had her lunch & just gone down for a nap i am going to wake her after 1-1.5 hrs if she does not wake on her own.

glad you're feeling better today - a solid stretch of sleep makes such a difference. Hopefully this is the beginning of thing improving???? I hope so for you. Be strong, hopefully even if she plays up tonight you will be able to deal with it better after last nights rejuvenating sleep

Well dd is still here & still awake, pushing her baby in a pushchair round the lounge, having to keep her up as ds has been an absolute nightmare tonight, he is very very tired due to late nights & back at school i think & obviously broken sleep from dd.

Have put him to bed shouting & screaming, dd seems very happy to still be here playing will put her down when ds is asleep hopefully soon.

What do they say, if it's not one child it's the other, so so true hey

She went to bed 5 mins ago, after a cuddle & a dora book & was asleep in 5 mins flat

See what the night brings !