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Original poster

DD is 22 months & still wakes 2-3 times a night, it's killing me, HELP

145 replies

SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:03

I am at my wits end i have tried so many things but dd just keeps waking up through the night so far i have done these -

Kept her awake all day, no nap to see if this would work, she woke 3 times that night.

Put her to bed later than her usual 6.30pm bed time, she still wakes.

Ignored her, she then becomes destructive, takes of her pj's & throws her nappy onto the floor, sits the naked.

No bottle given when woken up, a bottle with water no milk.

Sleeping bag thing in case she is cold, worked for 2 nights has not worked since.

Always leave hall light on as she is scared of the dark, once we worked this out she actually started sleeping through the night for about a week, after that back to old ways even know light still on.

Kept her in a very strict routine, still wakes.

When she has woken at about 11pm taken her out of bed to sit with us for 30 mins to an hr, she still got up.

Tried Medised, horlicks all sorts.

It is killing me i find her the most demanding child ever, i get up 3 times every night mostly sometimes twice, then she is up again at 6am shouting & bellowing from her cot, she is loud, screams, shouts & seems frustrated.

What the hell can i do i am exhausted & would love a whole nights sleep with no getting up, dp did it last night but there is just no point, he does not hear her so i wake & nudge him but then i am awake anyway, she got up twice for him last night.

I really am at the end of my tether, i feel like giving up & running away

OP posts:
lissiethevampireslayer · 27/10/2007 13:06

no advice but bump

AitchTwoOh · 27/10/2007 13:08

oh you poor thing. is there anyone who can take her and give you a break? we put dd in a sleep suit thing , a button goes over the zip so she can't easily get to it. have you tried that? at least then you wouldn't have to worry about her sitting shivering. or maybe switch the heating up and decide not to care whether she is or isn't? sorry, i'm useless at this stuff i just didn't want you sitting there on your own.

CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:09

I think you will have to decide on one of the walk in walk out tactics and stick to it rigidly for an awful long time.

Is there anyway she could share a room with you - would that solve it.

I think with her it sounds like it would be a long haul think breaking the habit and you would have to be very committed if you gave in at all it would be even harder?

CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:12

I only cracked dd3's night visits by a few trips to the cranial osteopath as she turned 4. Expensive but worth it.

Dd used to wake up and be wide awake but we would tell her it'sn night time and she would go back to bed. Sometimes it was 3 or 4 times a night for up to 4 or 5 nights in a row, then a couple days of it being much better then it would start up again - it went on for days.

I saw a cranial who works in West Byfleet

Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:13

There is no one who can have her to give us a break, family are all to busy with there own lives, MIL & FIL are 200 miles away & poorly. hoohum

When i got up to her in the end the other night at 4.30am she was sitting in her cot laughing, no pj's, no nappy it was all on the floor, i walked out to get myself a drink & walked back in to which i just see a person shape hidden sitting under her cot cover from head to toe she was chuckling away to herself, i just wanted to cry but i must admit it was funny.

If only she would sleep through if bloody only i would feel on top of the world, i look like crap with black bags under my eyes, i can not be bothered to do anything, i actually feel like i am struggling to be a mum for the first time in my life ahhh

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:16

Well dd used to get up 3-4 nights a week now it is every single night, it used to be once or twice now it is 3 times most nights.

I am in woking yes, do you think a cranial would work, what do they do? how much does it cost, someone may help within the family with costs but i doubt it, should i take her to the doctors? what could they do.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:19

I think it was about £30 the 1st session and £20 for the others - went about 4 times I think. Drs are a waste of time.

Are you brave enough to do controlled trying and see it through to the bitter end?

My dd was like this - she was just awake, she used to takes ages to get to sleep and if she ever actually sleeps in (ie after we have got up) and you go in and wake her she is immediatel wide a wake and bright and breezy.

The cranial has made a huge difference, she now wakes possibly one a month usually a bad dream or something.

Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:26

We did also put her in our room one night in a travel cot, it was even worse than normal, she done alot of screaming & even more wking through the night, so decided not to go down that route again.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:28

I would love to do the controlled ctying cause to be wuite honest i will try anything for a decent nights sleep, but dd shares a room with ds so don't want him woken up because he has school & we live in a flat so people around us will get mighty pissed off i can imagine.

do you have the number for the cranial in west byfleet i may see if my mum will pay, worth a try, i am desperate.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 27/10/2007 13:30

my Ds is a similar age and I have had similar issues at times, my thoughts (for what they are worth-

  1. 6.30 pm bedtime is quite early - DS doesn;t go to bed until 7.30-7.45 and isn;t asleep unitl at least 8pm at the earliest.
  2. trying something for one night won;t work, you need to persisit for at least a week and perhaps two weeks until you will know whetehr it works.
  3. it was a big mistake putting him in my bed when he wakes, no matter how tired I am, quick cuddle and back in his bed with a gradual withdrawal worked much better in teh long run.4) sleep suit stops taking clothes off - put it on back to front is she works out how to get out of it.
  4. no drink of any sort once in bed
  5. I don;t do controlled crying, just couldn;t manage it longer than 5 mins. I used gradual withdrawal no speaking, no lights, just shh shhh shhh storke head back away to door then outside door but where he can still hear shh shhshhh if necessary.
  6. no day time nap past 3pm

Don;t know if any of that would help but it did (with persistance and consistancy) work for us.

Kewcumber · 27/10/2007 13:31

does she have to be in your room? DS does wake up more if I'm in the room with him. Can you vlock her view of you form the cot?

Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:34

Kewcumber some good ideas there, the 6.30pm bedtime is a routine and she just does not seem to be able to stay awake past it, she sometimes gets to 6.45pm but she crys & screams on the floor rubbing her eyes, she is knackered.

She is not in our room she is in a room with ds, she was alot worse when put in our room for 1 night to test so no go there.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:36

Gareth Butler tel 01753 850322 he mainly works in Windsor so his secretary there makes all the appointments and he does one day a week out of the the Health Centre, Madeira Road, West Byfleet - I think it was Fridays.

You need to make a new patient appointment which is an hour so you may have a long wait unless you can travel to Windsor that's what I did Windsor for the 1st one and then the local one.

He was recommended to me by my ordinary osteopath, he is very lovely great with children and has been practising a long time so is very experienced.

Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:36

Will buy some sleepsuits & put them on back to front as i dont have any at the moment, can you get them in size 2-3 years as dd is tall?

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:37

Thanks cargirl will give him a call on monday, i will travel to windsor that is fine, i would travel to the end of the earth if i had too

What do they do? never seen one before?

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:38

Right just need to call my mum now see if she will help me pay ahhhhh i hate being skint.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:39

Someone else I know did sleep training with the waker in the travel cot downstairs so as to cause the least disturbance to everyone else apart from the one on duty. All you can do is warn the neighbours and tell them it should only be for 2 weeks max. I too would try the gradual withdrawl before controlled crying.

CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:41

I put on grobags back to front to reduce escapage. Also you can use a nappy pin to pin down the zipper whilst it is on back to front too.

Cranial osteopath sort of touches/massages their head and tummy a little bit whilst they lie there and in my experience go a bit floppy!

DD really liked him and there was some noticable improvement after the first session and even more so/complete cure after the 2nd!

CarGirl · 27/10/2007 13:42

early chirstmas present from your mum?

Kewcumber · 27/10/2007 13:45

yes spooky - you can get 18m-3yrs bags for about £10 in TKmaxx I think they're excellent. I wonder why she's so tired by 6.45? Longer nap during the day, then later bedtime? I would work on getting bedtimelater move it 5 mins back every day until you get it to at least 7.15pm. Does she have a bath before bed because that revives DS a little. Or move her bathtime to 6.30 it may perk her up for another 30 mins or so.

Good luck

Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 13:51

Early christmas present great idea

I have a grobag but she unzips it is this what you mean?

She has a bath & a hair wash every night after her tea, she has tea at 5pm bath about 5.30pm out after about 20 mins then she runs wild in the lounge for the rest of the time, maybe if i try to give her tea about 5.15pm bath at 5.45pm out at 6.05pm run wild till about 7pm hmm will see what happens tonight, she only has a nap for 1hr in thr day it used to be longer so she has cut that short too.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 27/10/2007 14:30

i find dd is better going down without a bath, actually, if she's tired.

Original poster
SpookyDooooo · 27/10/2007 14:32

Saying that dd had no bath last night because i am shattered have had dss here all week as well as my 2 & it just all got to much, so dd missed her bath last night.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 27/10/2007 15:56

if DS is very tired I skip the bath too aitch. I find bath followed by story and bed wihtout any running wild bit also works a bit better.

omeN666 · 27/10/2007 16:05

no advice just sympathy, all three of mine are bad sleepers. DS has just started sleeping through the past 4weeks at the age of 4. DD1 is 22mths and wakes twice a night, today we are trying the no nap technique
However she is teething too. Worst thing I find is that from 6-12mths mine sleep then they stop again