DD is 22 months & still wakes 2-3 times a night, it's killing me, HELP

[SpookyDooooo]

I am at my wits end i have tried so many things but dd just keeps waking up through the night so far i have done these -

Kept her awake all day, no nap to see if this would work, she woke 3 times that night.

Put her to bed later than her usual 6.30pm bed time, she still wakes.

Ignored her, she then becomes destructive, takes of her pj's & throws her nappy onto the floor, sits the naked.

No bottle given when woken up, a bottle with water no milk.

Sleeping bag thing in case she is cold, worked for 2 nights has not worked since.

Always leave hall light on as she is scared of the dark, once we worked this out she actually started sleeping through the night for about a week, after that back to old ways even know light still on.

Kept her in a very strict routine, still wakes.

When she has woken at about 11pm taken her out of bed to sit with us for 30 mins to an hr, she still got up.

Tried Medised, horlicks all sorts.

It is killing me i find her the most demanding child ever, i get up 3 times every night mostly sometimes twice, then she is up again at 6am shouting & bellowing from her cot, she is loud, screams, shouts & seems frustrated.

What the hell can i do i am exhausted & would love a whole nights sleep with no getting up, dp did it last night but there is just no point, he does not hear her so i wake & nudge him but then i am awake anyway, she got up twice for him last night.

I really am at the end of my tether, i feel like giving up & running away

Two falls I wish you well - I'm sure our dd3 was never a great sleeper because she had undiagnosed acid reflux from 6 weeks to 6 months so she didn't sleep during the day at all, passed out around 8ish pm for the night but often woke between 9 & 12 with trapped wind - would finally belch and go back down. I think the non-sleeping was just ingrained in her development. She still sleeps less than her older & younger sisters but rarely wakes during the night - we are like a new couple!

In the end we saw the craniel osteopath who made a huge difference and he recommended her for neuro developmental therapy which has seen huge changes in her developmental behaviour - this is to do with them not losing reflexes like morro, not neurologically moving onto where they should be.

Oh twofalls i feel for you, sounds like your going through what i am & it is just so so hard, some days i feel better than others i can go about 2 days then i seem to crash, my mood is horendous & all i seem to do is shout in the day, i feel pretty crap about it all.

Well dd went to bed without a bottle, i gave her a dummy when i put her in her cot but she throw it on the floor, i said goodnight, kissed her & walked out 10 minutes later she was flat out & nothing since. I am however sure i have a long night ahead will report back tomorrow.

I take it that you managed to dodge the flying dummy!!!!

Definitely agree with Kew that the running wild bit is the thing to try and crush like a fly!

What do you reckon to 5.20 pm tea, 5.40 play with you, 6.10 bath, 6.30 dry while you play a special 'nighttime tape/CD' with totally sleep inducing songs, then cuddle and book at 6.40, bed at 6.55?

CarGirl - yes otherwise dd would probably have been chuckling in her cot if it did hit me

Onebadmother - sounds good, i just need to purchase a tape player for her, she would love that.

I will try to start tea later i usually start at 4.30pm if not already made something in the afternoon like sheperds pie etc, i will start tea at 4.45-5pm depending on what it is & how long it takes then that should put me back a bit.

She obviously is not keen on the dummy but if i give her the option it's up to her then, just need to work on the waking in the night stragety (sp)?

alternatively drink a fair amount of alcohol and wear ear plugs - I'm sure it works a treat????

She naps in the day fine doesn't she??? There is def truth in that sleep during the day makes them sleep better at night, stops them being overtired I guess?

Alchol & ear plugs sounds good, maybe i should supply all the other 2 flats that surround us & actually a matter of fact maybe the whole court

I believe the daytime nap helps because when she had no nap which i have tried twice she was much much worse those 2 nights, i think she was well over tired, i will let her tell me when she wants to give up her daytime nap.

On the subject of earplugs - and this is going to sound rather.. odd.

We bought DS, then 5, builders' Ear Defenders (like road-menders wear) when at wit's end with dd then 20 months, while we tried various forms of withdrawal/controlled crying (aaagh.)

It made him laugh and somehow took the pressure off - plus he looked unbearably sweet.

Once we knew he wasn't suffering, we managed to be just tough enough with dd (who we knew was pretty sturdy emotionally) to get her to go to sleep on her own, and thence sleep through.

By the way this shows how sleep deprived i am dd is actually 21 months not 22 oh dear my mind has gone!

spooky fingers crossed for a good night for you!!!

Tonight I gave DD her milk beaker downstairs when ds had his, put her into to bed at 7.25pm where she screamed and when I went to hug her wouldnt let go. Gave her a beaker with water in which she threw[all to clapping from dd2 who was watching from her cot]. So I read her a story and then said good night. Kissed her and came out, she cried for a couple of minutes kicked the wall twice and then nothing. Am assuming/hoping she is asleep IN her bed[past couple of nights she has been getting out and onto the floor].Wouldnt mind but she has been in bed from 13mths and never had problems with it but this week she is.

Thanks Nemo goodluck to you tonight is well

Your brave with the bed thing, i have resisted putting dd into a bed i actually dread the day i do put her in one, there is a gate on the bedroom door but i am sure i would find her alseep in the wardrobe or in a toy box in the cornor, there is no way she would stay in a bed.

just realized I didn't say that dd and ds (ear defenders) share a room.

we had no choice with the bed there was no way she would stay in the cot..just like ds she started climbing over the sides very early on. She climbs in and out of DD2s all the time. We dont have a gate on her room but one at the top of the stairs.

I don't have a lot of advice, but I do have a lot of sympathy for you!

DS2 was a nightmare!! He didn't sleep through once until he was 2. He was 15 months when I became pregnant with his brother so I had virtually no sleep whilst pregnant either. He really did drive me insane! His problem was going off to sleep on his own. So he would wake up, I wouldn't be there, he would be upset and then it could take anything up to 2 hours (sometimes 3 or 4 times a night) to get him back to sleep.

I suppose with the arrival of DS3 I had less time to spend getting him to go to sleep and so he learnt to go off by himself. As long as he knew I wasn't too far away he was ok.

He is 4.10 now and a fabulous sleeper (well mostly...he's overtired after starting school atm and having nightmares, but thats another story!)

Just keep going and keep telling yourself it won't be like this forever. Sleep deprivation is the absolute worst thing isn't it.

Well not heard a peep yet, so all good so far it's the early hours that mess it up, i am off to bed so will update tomorrow afternoon, off food shopping in the morning after the school run

Oh no i am back & feelin worse than ever, sorry for going on but i am truly struggling here, i feel like my life has been taken over by a demanding, stroppy, unhappy little girl & i am soo desperate

She woke last night at 2.05am, she screamed & cried so i went it passed her a dummy said shh, go to night nights, she screamed, throw the dummy, screamed more & more & more & more, i went & lay in my bed & cried with the pillow on my head, it went on & on & on & on till dp got put of bed about 2.45am went in tried to calm her, gave her a cuddle, by this time ds woke up, he never wakes up, he has school & i am desperate for him not to suffer from this, so dp slept on a spare matress we have on the floor in there room & ds came in with me.

It was the last resort & the only way, she cried for about another 10 mins & had a massive fit, then eventually fell asleep.

We are fed up knackered & i just don't even want to think about the next few nights, this is a total nightmare.

I went shopping this morning to tescos, after phoneing my mum & crying, she came with me but dd was horrendous, she screamed when not getting her own way, she cried & throw herself around.

I am shamed to say this but i don't like my child at the moment, i totally resent her for all this & it is a bad bad feeling, i love her to bits unconditional but i dislike her right now, i want to run away but i can't.

I am going to take her to the doctors as i need help now.

sorry for being such a misery but life is hard right now & it's all taking it's toll

Oh spooky, just wanted to give you my sympathies. it is so awful. Your little girl is probably being so difficult in the day because she is so tired from being up so much in the night, she then gets over tired so her nights are bad. Not that this knowledge can do much to help you . I know that is what happened to dd for a little while. It was just a vicious circle. Could your mum have her for a night so you could at least get one good nights sleep?

Let us know what the doctor says.

I don't know whether it helps at all (probably not), but I was up last night from 2 till about 3 refusing to give dd any milk who was in a rage. In the end I told her a story and it seemed to lull her off (3 billy goats gruff, gawd knows where I dredged that one up from the depths of my sleep deprived brain).

Thanks twofalls

Mum can't have her because she works nights so it is not possible, MIL & FIL live 200 miles away & thats it so we never get a break laways with our kids 24/7 well i am anyway.

Dp does not normally help in the nights because he works long hours but he must have known i was losing it last night, i was sobbing into my pillow, he said go to sleep i will deal with her, bit hard to sleep though when a child is screaming.

See how tongiht goes, i always feel positive because she goes down well when first put to bed but in the middle of the night, she seems so unsettles almost like she is having nightmares or something, not sure it is that though i would say she is in a habit & wants her own way she is very much like this is the day anyway, very demanding & if she does not get what she wants she screams, throws things & has veen started scratching, her temper is bad.

God i must sound like i have such a lovely little girl, but if you saw her you would think butter wouldnt melt, i will add a pic to my profile soon

Sorry I have not read all your posts on this thread Spooky so sorry if I ask things you have already explained...

I am asking for myself as well, as DS is 20 months and although sleeps through some nights, he often wakes up and shouts, but we always ignore him and 95% of the time he goes back to sleep within a couple of minutes. However, he is still in a cot, and has always been in a sleeping bag, so much more difficult for him to do something like take pj's off and nappy off (don't think he knows how yet, thank god).

However, we have his toddler bed all ready for him to move into (have twins coming in Jan/Feb and want him settled in bed before then). Am worried he will not settle back to sleep himself if he can get up and wander round, and also can take clothes / nappy off. What was your DD like in a cot? Has she always always woken two or three times a night?

Sorry, lots of questions for you and no help for your situation. I can only imagine how awful you feel though, as sleepless nights in the early days are expected, but continuous sleepless nights for years are not. I struggle to cope with anything when I have had one or two bad nights of sleep in a row, and everything gets on top of me. God knows what i will be like once these babies are out .

No chance it is night terrors btw? I don't know much about them but if you search on archives on here you will lots of people who have experience of them.

I know just what you mean about it sounding like your dd has nightmares, I often wondered that about dd, she just used to scream and scream. I have to say she stopped screaming so much after we took her to a cranial oesteopath, but I think she needs to break the habit of waking and needing a bottle to get back to sleep. Have you tried giving her any medicine in case she is in pain/uncomfortable. I think the worst thing is just not knowing what it is that is wrong and therefore what it is that they want.

I feel for you, sobbing into your pillow, I have been there so I know what it is like. My dh can't help much either as he has a trapped nerve in his neck and is often in agony by the time he comes to bed (is a guitar teacher) so I know how lonely it feels. It sounds like you are at the end of the tether though so your DH really needs to help a bit more because you work long hours too.

I also know what you mean about butter wouldn't melt. Mine too!

Egg- Congratulations firstly for your twins you will have your work cut out next year!

Dd - Is quite advanced & very intelligent when i last saw my hv & doctor they actually said this could be the problme with many things.

She is still in a cot now, she takes her clothes off in a temper, like today when in tesco's she was told no because she was screaming so first reaction after screaming was to remove her top

I am going to buy a new gro bag & put it on her back to front so hopefully she wont be able to get out of it, not sure if it will help but can only try.

Dd was perfect up until she was about 11 months, she started walking at 11 months & it went wrong from there onwards.

She slept through the night from 9 months old was placed in her own room at about 7 months old, when she was 9 months old our lives were turned upside down though & we had to leave the rented house we were in, we had nowhere to live & i had pnd & was desperatly stressed, i do believe all this has effected her, we moved to my mums & myself, dp, ds (5) & dd all were in one small room, it was hell, she started waking then, this is when all the night waking started.

We were ta my mums for about 8 months & she woke once a night most nights, then when we moved here few months ago, she also woke once a night most nights but not all, we realised she was scraed of the dark so we kept the hall light on, she actually slept for a whole week through the night.

It is only the past 6+ weeks she has started waking every night 2-3 times a night, don't know why thought it may be her teeth or maybe it was & this has set her off, she just screams.

I think your ds may be ok in his own bed my ds was fine, he never woke through the night, if it is quite dark when your ds wakes he may not want to get out of bed, if he does start getting out maybe he is not ready for a bed but if i was you i would try it, you may be surprised.

I will look into night terrors, never really read about them.

twofalls - Have tried giving calpol, medised but not religiously, i am going to give her medised tonight as she does have a cold & i read the box & it says for restless sleep.

I will call the doctors tomorrow as i think i should speak to someone, my mum personally thinks there is more to it that meets the eye but i am not so sure, not even sure what she means by that comment.

If she has a cold anyone Medised won;t do any harm but I don't find it great for middle of the night wakers as it has worn off by then.

DS went through one of these phases which only lasted a few weeks (thankfully) they only thing whcih helped (appart from things I mentioned below) was getting up very quickly when he woke in the night, gave him dummy and stroked his head/hand until he went back to sleep. Letting him cry just seemed to wake him up more.

I do think it will take at least a week for her to get used to the dummy not a bottle so I don't think there is a quick solution, but lots of sympathy to you.

think your mum is barking up the wrong tree with her comment, sleep problems are very very comman.