How to stop co sleeping

[Mh16c]

Hi all,

I have an 18months DS, we’ve co slept since birth as was the only way we ever got any sleep. He still wakes hourly overnight but this is probably because I feed him to sleep, we’ve tried all the books, even paid £500 for a sleep consultant and got nowhere with his sleep.

I’m starting to think that maybe it’s actually me disturbing him. He naps at nursery for 3 hours sometimes, whereas I can never get that kind of stretch at night. He sleeps in his own room, but we have a double bed and I sleep with him in there.. We never could get him in a cot!

I just wonder from all my fellow co sleeping mums, how did you stop it? I don’t want to traumatise him, I think I also need to break myself in to the idea of it as well.. but where do you even start? He never naps alone at home, I’ll sit with him. We’ve never spent a night apart. The only sleep he ever has without me is at nursery and seems to do just fine.. so I know he can do it. I also would like to spend a bit more time with DH and maybe try for number 2 soon.

Any tips would be amazing! Or even just how you did it?

Thank you :)

I have 3 DC and co-slept with first and third.
With DC1 I used to pop her in the cot at bedtime and she would come in when she woke. She slowly slept in her own for longer periods and by 5 was rarely coming in. DC3 never slept in the cot . When he got to about 2 we set up a little bed in our room and he gradually stayed in there for longer although he was squeezing in next to me during the night through most of junior school. I just waited for them to settle. DC2 never took to co-sleeping despite the fact that as a young baby he was by far the most frequent feeder and most irritable in nature. He slept in his cot and then in a bed with no problems.

You need to start a bedtime routine of dinner, bath, stories, to bed in a cot by 7pm. I walked away after I had soothed them and then always moved around up stairs outside the room so they knew I was there and weren't scared. You need to tolerate the crying for the first few nights and then hopefully they start to settle.

My eldest would never go in a cot either. She never really slept alone for a full night until she went to school at 4.2yrs, but we did manage to get her starting off in her own room at least from about 2.3yrs. Stopping breastfeeding her definitely helped, as did letting her choose things for her room like bed covers, lamp etc. I’d say that the longer stretches of sleep came once I wasn’t feeding her though.

Have you tried sneaking out once he's asleep? This will answer your question as to whether you're disturbing him in the night. If/when he wakes in the night could you try your DH going in and giving him a cuddle to get him back to sleep and then sneaking out? To try and break the feeding to sleep habit. Even if this doesn't work and you end up going in and spending the rest of the night in bed with your DS, at least you will have had an evening and first part of the night with your DH.

Once he started school in September, come Christmas that year he finally started sleeping through the night and that was when we finally got him out of our bed at 5.5 years old

I can assure you that my the time they start secondary they won't want to sleep in your bed . Dd2 was 7 before she stopped coming in

I haven't. At 2 she comes into my bed if she wants to but is put to sleep in her cot. If her half-sibling is around she crawls into their bed over mine.

As I child I co-slept as well so would crawl into a siblings' bed at night. I stopped around the age of 6.

Put him to sleep in his cot and if he ends up in your bed in the middle of night don't sweat it, as he will grow out of it.

No advice but I’ve just found this thread. DC2 is 16m and about 10 mins ago I’ve brought her into our bed. We never did this with DS and now we can’t stop it. A couple of weeks ago she’d resettle at 11/1ish but not anymore.

I’m thinking of a sleep trainer. We can’t easily try the cry it out method as she wakes DS and then it’s more of a pickle.

DH is currently working nights so I feel I’ve given in too easily.... agggghhh!! Sorry no advice but I feel your frustration.

Aww thank you everyone for your lovely replies! I really appreciate it! I think I’ll definitely not sweat it as much as I have been, seems they all get there eventually.. definitely going to try sneaking out and see how long we get before he comes in, break us both in slowly :)
Thanks everyone! Xx