Ds waking up in the night

[AnxiousElephant77]

All of a sudden, ds has started waking up in the night. He's always been a brilliant sleeper. I had a bit of a chat with him about it and he seems to have become fixated on the idea that bad things, such as burglaries, always seem to happen at 3am. I don't think this is helped by the fact that we live in a town house. Ds and dd are on the top floor, his bedroom is at the top of the stairs. He has no problem getting to sleep but if he wakes up in the night, can't get back to sleep without coming and getting me, and I end up getting in with him.

I've tried dramatic reconstructions where he lies on our bed and I attempt to prove that no one could get upstairs without waking dp and I. Then he counters with inventive stories about burglars putting a ladder against the house and coming in through the spare room.

I've asked him if he wants to change bedrooms. He doesn't. I've put really cosy bedding on for him. He's got a nightlight (which I try and turn the brightness down on but he turns it back up). Pillow spray. An eye mask.

I still had him at our door at 3.45am. I don't real want to get into my almost 11 year old's bed. Dd is 13, I've done my time.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Anyone?

Final bump before I give up

Hmm, I can't offer any advice based on experience, but he's clearly anxious, and has perhaps just picked out the burglary thing as a hook to put his anxiety on. Rationalising the burglary thing won't help, he'll just find something else to worry about.

He's 11? Has he just gone back to school? Must be a pretty weird time.

I think I've also read that this can also be a phase some boys go through at this age - could be hormonal? Or fear about impending independence of being more grown up. Try seeing if there's anything else that's bothering him, and just generally offer him lots of reassurance in day to day life, and support with becoming more independent.

Hopefully this hotch potch reply will re-bump this for you too

He is a bit anxious, I've spoken to his teachers about it, I'm not sure how much good being at home with me has done him.

Anyhoo, thank you so much for replying. It's so hard when it's completely irrational and not much you can about it.

Reposting for any Sunday afternoon traffic

Does he have his door shut at night? Could you hang some noisy bells on it so if anyone opens it he will hear?

Would you consider a house alarm?

We have a house alarm. Dd is convinced that part of the problem is that he insists on sleeping with his bedroom door wide open, which literally opens onto the top of the staircase.

I wonder if I could convince him to close it.

My mum suggested a booby trap of pillows on his doorway

Perhaps his anxiety is actually about something else, but he uses the burglar as his excuse.
Sometimes we don’t know what is causing anxiety, and sometimes kids can’t articulate the problem.
Is there anything happening at that time to wake him up ? Central heating clicking on, neighbour coming home, foxes being noisy ?

Not as far as I'm aware. He goes to sleep while we're still up, maybe it's just a bit disconcerting when he wakes up. Oh I don't know, I just worry he's not getting good quality sleep, and that he's anxious, I suppose.

So he appears to have developed anxiety in general, not just about the burglar ?
If so, you’ve already spoken to school so keep that dialogue going, and I would also contact your School Nurse to access as much help as you can. GP as well if it continues.
I really hope it’s a phase and not the start of something 💐