12 month sleep regression:-(

[PopcornAndWine]

DD has just turned 1. She has never been a brilliant sleeper but it has always been manageable. Since she was about 4 months she would go down reliably between 6:30-7 and we would get a good stretch at the start of the night so we at least had our evening. Then would usually be 1-2 wake ups and she would go back to sleep pretty quickly. She still has 1 BF at night and since about 10 months I have tried my best to stick to just one.

Just before she turned one we got some really good stretches and even a handful of sleep-throughs. Then the week of her first birthday it has all gone to shit. She has been waking multiple times, sometimes settling again quickly, sometimes screaming her head off for ages. Thought maybe teething so have tried calpol, doesn't seem to make a difference. Have tried giving her water in case she is thirsty. I had started switching her to cows milk and have now gone back to formula (2 x 200 ml bottles a day) in case that was the problem. Doesn't seem to be but I am just to knackered to try and get her to drink cows milk now as she really wasn't keen on it. So formula in bottles it is, even though I know they are not meant to have bottles past 1 but she won't drink milk from sippy cups and it's another battle I don't have the strength for. Her solid intake is generally pretty good so don't think it is hunger (although it's a possibility I suppose).

The last few nights i am afraid we have just been letting her cry after she wakes up for the umpteenth time. She usually then falls back to sleep within about 20 minutes, sometimes less. But obviously have all the guilt about letting her cry (no judgement please, at the end of our tether here).

So I understand there is a 12 month sleep regression, hoping that's what it is and it will pass soon! Any positive stories or advice?

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Hi @PopcornAndWine. I suspect this is to do with the way in which baby goes to sleep initially, and it not being conducive to let her settle easily on her own when waking. Moreso that than calories - you totally could night wean completely at this age.

So, what happens from baby being fully awake until fully asleep at bedtime?

Also, what happens for daytime naps, and when/how long is baby napping?

Hi thanks for your reply. She always goes into the cot awake so I know she can self settle. She had routine of bath, bottle then book before bed and she has a bunny comforter that she snuggles, this seems to help her fall asleep also. Nap wise she has one nap of between 2-2.5 hours. She dropped her morning nap around 10 months, I tried to keep putting her down for it but she just wouldn't settle so we moved to one nap and it seemed to be working ok up until a couple of weeks ago.

Might be worth separating the feed and sleep completely. So have the bottle downstairs before bath time.

On the occasions when baby doesn't settle easily and gets upset, what happens then?

She nearly always settles easily at the start of the night - 2 nights ago was an exception, she was crying and went in to her a couple of times, gave cuddles etc and put her back crying. She kept crying but then did a big poo and settled fine after being changed so guessing that was the problem. So the start of the night is usually ok, it's just the multiple wake-ups we are now dealing with. I only feed once and am thinking I should probably stop that altogether as maybe it is a feed-sleep association that is causing her to wake up. But no idea why this would suddenly happening when her sleep had been ok?? 😫

Will try giving the bottle downstairs, thanks for that suggestion x

She nearly always settles easily at the start of the night...

Perversely, this could be a hindrance not a help. It means that you've not established a settling technique to use when baby needs a bit of extra help, but in such a way to not hinder her self-settling. It results in an all-or-nothing situation - so baby either needs no help at all, or so much help that there's no independent sleep.

I think you're right about dropping that last night feed. It results in confusion and inconsistency if sometimes you feed and sometimes you don't. Much better to just not feed at night, full stop (or alternatively, always be willing to feed if needed).

Then work out an in-cot settling technique that works without baby falling asleep in your arms. That's going to involve crying, but can still mean you continue comforting just being consistent about it being done in the cot.

Ok thanks - that makes sense, will give that a try.

Hi - not quite the same thing and I don't have any advice as such but hopefully this helps you feel a bit better.
My 11 month old has always been a pretty good sleeper, self settles fine etc but recently just stopped. It was like he forgot how to sleep and omg it was tiring! I kept reading about sleep regressions at this age but couldn't find many positive stories about people getting through it. I actually convinced myself that my situation was too bad for it to just be a regression...

Then all of a sudden one night I put him down and he went back to normal. Same happened the next day for naps and so on. Don't want to jinx it but fingers crossed!

So yeah it sounds like it could be a similar regression. Nothing I did make a difference, I just had to wait it out and chances are it will be the same for you x

@Gemedin that is interesting and very reassuring, thank you!

@PopcornAndWine no problem. I do think it is something that will sort itself. If I could go back a month I would tell myself to remember it's temporary and just stick to the same routine. I tried changing lots of different things but tbh the only thing that worked was time! X

We had a 12 month sleep regression from hell. I was googling everything under the sun - trying calpol, paid a (useless) sleep consultant, controlled crying etc. Nothing made a difference apart from time. Similarly, our DD always self settled to bed but she started waking for 2-3 hour periods overnight and nothing at all would get her back to sleep.

I wish someone had told me that it’s just a really crap phase and it will pass. It sounds like you have good routines and habits already in place so stick to them. DD is nearly two and consistently slept through the night from 14months - only when she was ready!

Sleeping through regularly from 14 months sounds awesome good to hear two stories where it just got better with time. I am definitely going to stick to our current routines but also not try and throw anything else into the mix like switching to cows milk for the time being.

Yup that sounds like a good plan to me! Just stick with what you're doing and ride it out . Take it easy and be kind to yourself. It's horrible being at all sleep deprived but remind yourself it is a phase x

Thank you x

Hi OP, how is your LO doing now? Has the phase passed? My LO turns 1 in two days and the last two weeks have been awful! Lots of nap fights, short naps, waking in the night multiple times, screaming the house down and taking ages to settle/ multiple attempts to settle. It's horrific. My instinct tells me it's nothing more than this 12 month sleep regression and I'm pretty hopeful it'll pass in a couple of weeks. Hope things are a bit more peaceful for you now!

Hi @serenfach1 she is much better now thankfully, for the past 3 weeks or so! Still not consistently sleeping through and we have had a couple more bad nights but generally much better. Usually 1 wake up and she resettles after a quick cuddle. Long may it last! Hope things improve for you too soon!

@PopcornAndWine and @serenfach1 apologies for resurrecting an old thread, bit just wondering how you got on and how long it was before (hopefully!), your 12/13 month settled.
My DD is being a total nightmare, fights her bedtime, though used to go down very easily, and still naps well enough. The middle of the night 2 hour parties are killing me! I’ve tried less sleep in the day, more sleep in the day, nothing is working 😩😩😭😭

Hi @LillyMac500 , fortunately for us it didn't last too long, probably just over a month in total. So hopefully will be the same for you. She is now 16 months and sleeping through pretty much every night so it does happen! (I've probably totally jinxed it now )

@PopcornAndWine thanks so much for the quick reply. And that’s definitely reassuring, if I know it’s likely a phase, it makes it a little easier.
Thank you, and fingers crossed I’ve not jinxed it for your wee one tonight xx

No problem, really hope things improve for you soon. Lots of tea in the meantime! xx

Hi @LillyMac500
We experienced it for just over a month, but tbh there was a lot going on for him in that time. I still think it was a regression, but there was also the dreaded teething (molars), starting nursery and he caught a cold which didn't help. Hang in there, it will pass! He's now going down great for his nap (we've mostly dropped to one a day now) and bedtime is on the whole pretty good. Like popcorn&wine, we still have some wake ups in the night. The issue we've got now is that DH can usually settle him with a quick little pat and shhhh before leaving again, but if I go in, I have to stay until he drifts back off otherwise he gets upset about me leaving. Those split nights are hard. Do you have any option to have/ would you consider having a mattress next to the cot, so at least you can try and rest while the party's going on? It's not for everyone but it helped me. Hope your DD settles back into a more manageable night sleep soon x

Thanks @serenfach1 good to know things got better at your end too. She’s awake just now, has been for nearly an hour already, and this was after fighting bed time (usually 7pm), until 8pm.
We’ve had a few things going on too, including the cold and me going back to work, so she’s at my in laws. We have a spare room, so I’ve prepped it ready for me to take her in shortly so DH can come back to our bed.
Thanks again xx