10 month old wakes every 45 mins

[ineedsomesleepnow]

DD (10 months) has never been a good sleeper, but it seems to be getting worse, not better!

Today I put her down in her cot for a nap but I knew that she would wake after 45 mins - and she did. Then I ended up bringing her downstairs and resettling her in my arms as I didn't want her waking her sister. If held, she will sleep longer.

At night she goes into her cot initially (usually already asleep) but will generally wake every 45 mins - 1 hour before I go up to bed and then I generally end up taking her into the bed with me as I'm just exhausted and want some sleep.

I know I need to teach her to fall asleep on her own, but how?! DD(2) always liked someone in the room with her and still does, but she would just lie in her cot and roll about until she fell asleep. DD(10 m) just screams the place down and stands up until I eventually give in.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated!

A sleep cycle is 45 mins, so she’s falling asleep and waking after the sleep cycle.

I had a terrible sleeper, and I got help from a sleep clinic so I learnt a lot about sleep! Apparently we all wake after 45 mins of sleep but we don’t fully wake and go into the next sleep cycle.

How does she fall asleep? Are you helping her get to sleep with rocking or something? If so that’s the thing she’s looking for after 45 mins.

She does need to learn to self settle. That is the only way she will learn to sleep for longer. That means putting her awake in the cot and leaving her to go off to sleep. Various methods to do this. We used gradual retreat.

At the moment she generally falls asleep feeding or is rocked to sleep/in the buggy for daytime naps. Generally if she's awake after her feed at night I'll put her in the cot but as I say she just ends up totally hysterical. Just not sure how to help her settle in the cot.

I know, it’s really hard. I’ve been there. But the reason she’s hysterical is because you aren’t giving in to her. She has trained you, and it’s not working!

Gradual retreat is a gentle method, no crying.

So basically you need to stop the buggy, the rocking the feed to sleep. Don’t panic though, it will work.

So you start off with a hold to sleep, no rock, then hold nearer the cot til you are holding in the cot. But this is over days, not one day.

So day one is , small rock then hold.

Day 2 hold

Day 3 near the cot,

Etc til you she is in the cot awake, but you are there holding her or contact. Then you start to retreat, so less contact and standing near, til you get to the bedroom door and stand the other side. Then she has learn to sleep but feel safe and protected and you are still close.

This worked for me, and my baby woke every 10mins. And 9-10 times a night. Similar age. But hadn’t slept since birth.

So as well as reducing night feeds to zero, and increasing the feeds in the day.

I used Millpond sleep clinic.

Thank you so much. That all makes sense. I definitely need to think of the longer term goal - I think the problem is I end up just giving in to her as I'm tired and don't want her waking her sister but I know we do need to do something, especially if she's going to move in to her own room soon.

How long would you say it took you overall to get to the point where your baby could self settle in the cot?

I know it’s easier to give in to her, but you have to stay on track. Obviously wait til each teeny step works before moving on.

When I did it, it took 4weeks to get to an amazing level of sleep, 6 weeks to fabulous 12 hour sleep with 2x 90mins naps a day.

But I was having email support daily from the sleep clinic and a weekly phone consultation.

You can do it on your own. I was dangerously tired, I had forgotten how to make a cup of coffee. I couldn’t function and my mental health was awful. But honestly if I can do I anyone can.

It worked like magic for me. 9-10 months is a crucial age, after that apparently it’s harder to teach babies to sleep as they are in a pattern of no sleep. My friend didn’t help her baby to sleep and years later still has a child who doesn’t sleep.

The sleep clinic said, it’s like everything you have to teach your baby to feed themselves, dress, etc sleep is one of those things we have to teach.