Teaching LO to self-settle?

[ryanreynolds]

LO is 4 months old and has stopped doing more than catnapping in the day and is now doing worst ever nights, waking at least every 2 hours (preciously we were down to one wake up a night).

I've decided to teach her to self settle using a very gentle method (not ready for CIO at the moment, I may get there, who knows!).

Has anyone done similar? How long did it take? I'm expecting a few weeks - if I can at least sort out her daytime sleep I could cope with the nighttimes!

4 mo sleep regression

Sleep in children doesn't just improve, it goes backwards as well.

And you can't teach self settling.

Try googling 4 month sleep regression. 4 months is still very tiny, this is just what babies do. You were very lucky to have such a good sleeper! Try and see everything as a phase, it won't last so just go with it xx

I have googled it and I do know she's tiny still and it's only a phase but she's so miserable from being overtired that I really think it would help her if she could crack napping in the day, 20 mins at a time is not enough!

The 20 minutes thing will change of its own accord without you intervening, though. DD went through weeks of 20-minute naps. Then 30 minutes. Then 30-40 minutes. Just recently she's been doing 60+ minutes. I haven't changed a thing.

Her nights are still a disaster though

When you say not ready for CIO, do you mean CC? CIO is literally shutting the baby in the room and letting them scream themselves to sleep and not going in until morning. I hope you're never ready for that!

Oh god no not CIO then! Nor CC! Not up for leaving her to cry at all, more lots of shushing and patting, sitting by her cot instead of cuddling/rocking her.

How does she go to sleep at the min? Is she fully asleep when she goes down? I would try pick up put down at that age after feeding or rocking to nice and drowsy and use white noise. Bed time should be easier than naps, and first nap of the day. Try 1h45mins - 2 hours wake time. I disagree, they can be taught to fall asleep by themselves, they just need lots off opportunities/practice. Then if she wakes 40 mins through a nap, I wait a couple of mins to listen to the cry to see if she sounds like she is resettling before going in and trying shh pat for 15 mins to see if she'll go back. If you do this you will begin to distinguish a 'Something is wrong' cry from a 'I'm just annoyed I woke up and I'm still tired cry. I hope yiu figure it out. I don't believe in just riding it out - yiu could be waiting for a loooong time if you do.x

My DS was the same at around 4-5 months. At around 6 months he started self settling a little. I didn’t do anything to encourage this, it just happened on his own. He still doesn’t always do this, if he’s teething or overtired then I’ll still need to cuddle or rock him. 4 months is still so tiny and it’s only natural for your baby to need you to help them sleep at that age. Controlled crying is not recommended before 6 months, not that I’d ever personally recommend it anyway! There are much gentler methods, Lucy Wolfe’s book is ok and helpful to an extent, but I think babies will self soothe and nap longer when they are ready. At 4 months my DS only cat napped for 20 minutes, 30 if I was lucky. Again the naps naturally got longer on their own and I didn’t do anything else to change it. What I did find though is that if he was only napping for 20 minutes at a time then he could only go for 1.5-2 hours being awake before he needed to sleep again, so instead of trying to nap longer maybe you could try and make sure she naps frequently, even if it’s in the car or pram, as this might prevent her from being overtired and cranky?