6 month baby HATES new cot - help!

[PastaFasool]

My 6 month old baby was sleeping brilliantly in a Tutti Bambini fabric bedside cot. He loved snuggling into the fabric sides and being cosy. We were getting bedtime around 7.30pm, and often he would sleep thru til 3am or 4am before needing a feed, then back to sleep until 7.30am. It was brilliant for all of us.

Four nights ago we moved him into a regular wooden cot, and he HATES it. He is taking up to an hour to settle, he's been waking every 2 hours crying, and finds it hard to self soothe as when he tries to snuggle into the side of the cot he's banging his little face against wooden bars. DS also used to self soothe by stroking the fabric sides of his bedside crib, we could see and hear him running his fingers down the mesh side.

DH has been great helping out, and can sometimes get DS back to sleep by holding his hand and shushing. However it doesn't always work, and I am back to breastfeeding up to 3 times a night to get DS to sleep. I don't think DS is always hungry as he calms down when cuddled, I had just been using breastfeeding as a comfort whilst he adjusts to the new bed but it's the fourth night and feels like it's getting worse rather than better.

I am getting desperate for all of us to sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch again... Does anyone have any advice? Desperately wish we could carry on using his old bed but it's not safe after 6 months as the sides are too low.

Thanks in advance!

Can he sleep in the old bed, but put it inside the cot for a short while, as a transition?

Bumpers? I don’t think they are advised for ok the way around anymore because of getting hot, but one or two on the bars where he likes to snuggle?

@CrapSouzette unfortunately the old bed is a fabric nest fixed to legs, not a Moses basket, so it's not possible to put inside the new bed :-(

@PalmersGreen I did think about bumpers, but spoke to a HV and she was emphatic that the NHS do not consider them safe, ever, under any circumstances. DH also says no way to them, so I can't really go against both.

DS has at least just slept a 4 hour stretch in the new cot, from 1am to 5am, but I think only because he was completely exhausted.

Tried putting him down at 7.30 last night and he finally settled at 8.20, then he woke every hour until 11.20 but my husband managed to get him back to sleep with shushing and hand holding, then awake from 11.20 to 1 when I finally managed to BF him to sleep.

It's just so frustrating as it seemed like DS had learned to self settle, was going down drowsy but awake, happy in his own room, and finally taking daytime naps in his bed.

Now he's BF to sleep with multiple wakings and I can't get him to nap there at all in the daytime, only his pram.

It's so frustrating that I could cry, feels like such a huge step backwards and it's rubbish seeing DS so tired and wanting to sleep but unable to settle himself now.

I really feel for you. We are going through a tough time sleep wise just now (LO is 8 months) Have you tried a dummy to soothe? Or is he maybe a little cold? We went from the next to me crib which was nice and cosy/didn't let any draughts in, to the cotbed so had to change what he was wearing at nights. It seemed to help a lot.

A friend recommended me a tip for when we transferred our DD to her new larger cot from her Moses basket.

She mentioned ahead of this that she'll probably not like how much more space there'd be compared to the basket so to roll two towels and place them under her fitted sheet lengthways on either side of her to kinda give her 'bumpers' that felt safe and comforting to her.

It REALLY worked for us and she took to it right away. After a couple of weeks we took them off and it all went smoothly

Good luck!

@username198817 it's definitely not all cosy like his bedside crib was, I really feel for him. He currently has a short sleeved bodysuit and a sleeping bag, as the weather is getting cooler it definitely makes sense to be putting him in a long sleeve vest.

@Qwertyguerty thanks for the tip - I could try that for his morning nap, to see if it helps.

DH just says that it will get better with time. I completely feel for DS though, his new bed looks less cosy to me too!

A Sleepyhead? Would that make him feel cosier and snuggled? We also have a Tutti Bambini crib and the Sleepyhead goes inside that. DS is getting too big for the crib now so I’m trying to transition him to his big cot. He’s been having naps in there so far and we’ve put the Sleepyhead in the cot so it doesn’t feel any different to him and he’s been fine. People dispute the safety of sleepyheads but it’s been a godsend or us because DS has always liked to feel snuggled when asleep. He doesn’t like a big open cot. I’m hoping he will eventually grow out of it!

So I have spent this morning trying to "cosy" the crib as much as I can. I have tied a bunch of soft fabric cot books around the outside of the bars of the cot, to make it less open. Once he is asleep, I will remove them.

Going to try putting him down for his first nap now, am feeding him to sleep which was a habit we were breaking BUT if it comforts him for now then I will just have to accept it as necessary for now. I feel like it's pretty much that or CC are our only options for sleep at the moment...

Fingers crossed...

@Sunflower160 - just has a look at Sleepyheads, as I had also heard good things about them - but was surprised to see on the product description that they say they are not safe for unsupervised sleep! I kinda thought that was the point of them, but Sleepyhead themselves are recommending not for sleeping. Argh...

How about a travel cot?

The breathable mesh bumpers threaded through the bars might be a good solution if he self soothes by stroking mesh

I thought travel cot too, or the new shnuggle air cot. Even when extended it has mesh sides so he can still snuggle up against them, no need for bumpers.

Sleepyheads were ok overnight when I had my DS three years ago then they changed the guidance. I put baby DS in one now otherwise we'd get no sleep! I think everyone has to assess the risks and make their own judgment.

www.argos.co.uk/product/8543600?&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59156%7cacid:444-797-0832%7ccid:1577479348%7cagid:71421001115%7ctid:pla-293946777986%7ccrid:350920227526%7cnw:g%7crnd:12185090092536774023%7cdvc:m%7cadp:1o3%7cmt:%7cloc:1006524&gclid=CjwKCAjw-7LrBRB6EiwAhh1yX-YhDGxZc5OHPjmUOI9juznpdkkMqywanajyhFmqVqJ-B7VsdfmiLhoCAiEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Sleepyheads are the same as cot bumpers if not the new trend that seems to have replaced cot bumpers so I'd avoid them and the ridiculous price tag like the plague if i were you. Only thing baby should be in is an empty cot with a sleeping bag imho

The risks associated with bumpers are not the same as those associated with sleepyheads. Bumpers have the added risk of strangulation from the ties and from baby getting their head wedged under the bumper.

Obviously in an ideal world all babies would sleep in a completely clear cot as per the guidance but it's very difficult if your baby just won't do it! There is no official guidance in that situation.

If your baby won't sleep in a cot and the alternative to a sleepyhead is a parent falling asleep holding baby then I'd say a sleepyhead is probably the less risky of those two options. Everyone has to balance the risk for themselves, I don't think it's black and white.

Totally agree that it's up to individual parents to decide what they are comfortable with based on guidelines. I have friends who put their babies down in Sleepyheads and friends who co-sleep and friends who use bumpers.

Before DS I had a really traumatic pregnancy loss at 23 weeks, and having been that unlucky mum in a previous pregnancy, I find it really hard to go against safety guidance because I have been that unlucky mum before. Which isn't to say that risk isn't a part of life! Just going against safe sleep guidance is probably something that I won't do.

We use breathable cot bumpers, they’re brilliant

www.johnlewis.com/airwrap-two-sided-baby-cot-bumper-white/p2155862?sku=234483899&s_kwcid=2dx92700046625831601&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=CjwKCAjw-7LrBRB6EiwAhh1yXwGIg6qOSoc0fAePcrmLhkbhlwrQzLwaGXk8H49saNs3Z3bNng7cuBoCzLAQAvD_BwE

Its the same risk the baby can suffocate if they turn their head into the sleepyhead side or the side of a bumper anything padded or either side of the babies head and body is a no no

There are additional risks with bumpers over and above suffocation (such as strangulation) that don't exist with a sleepyhead. Also (as far as I am aware and I've looked quite hard) there have been no recorded instances of suffocation resulting from a sleepyhead worldwide.

Obviously that doesn't mean they are as safe as an empty cot, they're not but I think the risk is sometimes overstated. What are people supposed to do if their baby won't do what the guidance says?! People do need some sleep here and there so it's all a balance.

I completely understand OP, I am a guidance but generally and I think I only feel comfortable with the sleepyhead because when I used it with my first son it was allowed! Would a travel cot work? It would have the mesh?

Thanks everyone for the advice! I think that we will stick with the cot for a couple of weeks, maybe try a travel cot or Shnuggle Air Cot if things don't improve.

I hope that no-one thinks that I am judging them for using cot bumpers or Sleepyheads - I think it's such an individual choice, everyone has to do what's right for their own family!

I think given our own experience with baby loss, what's right for us is probably to follow the safe sleep guidance on an empty cot, but that's just because I know that I would be standing at DS's cot all night if I didn't.

My son was the same took about a week then he was back to sleeping well

have you tried leaving a worn top of tours threaded through cot bars as smell of you may help settle him

Interesting comments about the Sleepyhead. I was under the impression that they were made from breathable materials. I contacted them in April to query the safety before purchasing one for DS.